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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want people to judge those who recieve benefits????

572 replies

TidyTink · 18/02/2008 21:21

Im a single mother of one,

i was working up until my DD (3) was born, rather than take a part time job that i knew i would always be stuck in i decided to get to college and study asubject that will lead me to a very hard working and well paid job so that i can fully support my DD in the future.

I hate recieving benefits and cannot wait untill i have finished my degree

Once i start at work i will be paying enough taxes in the future to more than cover the benefits ive recieved over the few yrs.

So why does everyone assume your a complete waste of space?? not all of us take advantage of the system!!!!

OP posts:
winniethewino · 21/02/2008 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dal21 · 21/02/2008 12:49

colditz - that point has been made, circumstances can all put us difficult situations - see my earlier post. and therefore thank goodness for the safety net that exists.

this is about knowing you cannot afford children yet still having them knowing the state will support you and them.

hercules - i understand the point you are making - and you are right to some degree. But then I know my parents stopped at 2 for that reason.

MsSparkle · 21/02/2008 12:49

I do find it scary though that kids are being brought up by their parents to believe that you can have what you want when you want without forking out a penny. That is a major issue that needs to be looked at closely. Give people back a sense of pride and self worth.

Custardo was right earlier in the thread. If someone has such little self worth that they want to live in some crappy council house in a run down area then we should be angry with these people but pity them.

Bouncingturtle · 21/02/2008 12:51

I waited until dh and I were reasonably financially comfortable before having a baby.
However if everyone did this there would be an even bigger decline in birth rate!

MsSparkle · 21/02/2008 12:51

shouldn't

Bouncingturtle · 21/02/2008 12:52

Oops should have typed quicker, point made by MsSparkle

winniethewino · 21/02/2008 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsSparkle · 21/02/2008 12:53

I also think there is a very tiny percentage of people who truely cannot work. Even if you can't do some jobs there is always something a person can do as work no matter what their abilty.

hercules1 · 21/02/2008 12:53

Yes, I am only have 2. As I said if I wanted more, I wouldn't because we cannot afford to. I havent read the whole thread but I would agree then with what custardo said, I would rather forgo having another child than live in a place I havent chosen to live in.

hercules1 · 21/02/2008 12:54

I know winnie. SOrry if my post implied that that's what you were saying.

winniethewino · 21/02/2008 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz · 21/02/2008 13:02

Oh I wasn't saying nobody has made that point, dal21, just that it's kind of being overlooked a bit.

A legal life on benefits is poor and miserable. I am upbeat about it because I can see an end in sight - I eventually want to worth with youths, and am doing volunteer worth with that in mind.

I am lucky.

I have the intelligence and self-efficacy to see past my own nose, to realise that if I don't get myself sorted out in the next 10 years, I may well lead a life of poverty.

I have cooking skills, and budgeting skills, and a little bit of life experience, and a fair whack of work experience.

But if you have a below average intelligence and no life experience, and you marry a bad man who impregnates you and leaves - you're screwed. Because I have applied for every job I can get childcare for in this town, and a few 'on the fly' to see if I could get them to change their hours - nothing, nada, zip.

Now, I will work - but I can see how people end up long term unemployed, and long term unemployable too. It's all too easy.

Original poster
TidyTink · 21/02/2008 13:19

goos point colditz

You have to remember that those who do choose benefits as a career choice probably dont know any bloody better!!!!

Its starts with family values, and if you aint taught them then you aint gonna have any!!!

some people have kids at 14, because thats the only thing they know, i personaly feel very sorry for them, im not gonna be angry with them, sometimes life shits on people!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
TidyTink · 21/02/2008 13:19

meant to say good point

OP posts:
colacubes · 21/02/2008 13:26

"There but for the grace of God go I" or to put it another way. It could easily be anyone of us doesnt matter how well we think we have our finances under control, bigger and better have gone to the wall.

As for parents on benifits, from experience I can tell you some people have got no intention of ever working, and to some they may seem well off, but my god the majority have really shitty lives.

Benifits are unfortunatley used as a career choice by some, and not the crux they should be to help benifit those on low wages or as a helping hand to others.

My take on it is if you choose to spend your life on benifits (not sayin anyone here is)you are only letting yourself down, because there is a beautiful world out there and it should be seen, and benifits well just wont cover it.

suey2 · 21/02/2008 14:14

i am sorry if i have offended anyone. The point i was trying to make was definition of need and that you simply cannot put a single figure on what constitutes need when referring to income. Given the vehemence of the response i have to admit I stand corrected

suey2 · 21/02/2008 14:14

you can work a certain number of days when on MP BTW

NadineBaggott · 21/02/2008 14:15

it depends why the person is receiving any benefit.

If they are in dire straits and need temporary help, no problem.

If they are a lazy get and can't be arsed to get a job, I don't like it.

mrsruffallo · 21/02/2008 14:38

Thre is nothing wrong with taking a couple of months off work esp as a young person and its a hot summer and there are lots of parties going on

winniethewino · 21/02/2008 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsruffallo · 21/02/2008 14:40

Oh come on, a couple of months worth of dole money are not going to break the bank

staryeyed · 21/02/2008 15:01

Mrsruffallo- I hope your joking.

mrsruffallo · 21/02/2008 15:04

no, its good to be irresponsible while your young then you work hard

mrsruffallo · 21/02/2008 15:06

sorry about typos have son on my lap

Squiffy · 21/02/2008 15:11

now it's gonna kick off...