Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Blamed for something at work that's not my fault

295 replies

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:18

I work in a private house as a housekeeper to an older couple. They have no young children but have grandchildren who visit very often. The oldest is 8, the youngest 18mo. I work Mon-Fri and have worked for the family for nearly four years.

Last Wed when I went in, I noticed a bottle of bleach in the cupboard under the sink in the utility room that didn't have a cap. I put it on the shelf on the wall where the kids can't reach it and told the lady I'd moved it because I didn't think it was safe to have an open bottle of bleach where the children could reach it. I moved it again on Thur and Fri and again said why to both of them.

I've just had an angry phone call because the littlest grand child found the bleach and tipped it all over herself. She's not hurt (thank god!!!) but it has ruined her clothes along with her mum's.

The family want me to pay to replace them. Both of them are denying that I'd warned them about the bottle and moved it out of reach multiple times. They're Boden clothes and there's no way I can afford to replace them. No one is believing me when I said I'd moved the bleach multiple times. The husband actually said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying."

I'm absolutely devastated because it's always been a good place to work and in general I really like the family. Now i feel like I can't stay because the trust is broken. I just don't know what to do!

OP posts:
Kennykenkencat · 15/05/2023 10:23

Look at your own house insurance documents and see if you have legal insurance for employment disputes as part of your home insurance.

Don’t know which country you are in but it might be in there. It is usually a free added extra that a lot of people don’t realise they have.

Livingtothefull · 15/05/2023 13:45

You could very well have a case against them Op for unfair or constructive dismissal, if you choose to pursue it They may be trying to set you up to avoid redundancy pay as someone above has mentioned already.

But they could be really making a hole for themselves by pulling a stunt like this, whether they like it or not you have rights as an employee. Consider getting initial legal advice perhaps through ACAS.

I would be aware of this and careful wording any resignation letter....you can make it clear that it is them who have made it impossible for you to work for them any more and so you have no choice but to leave and consider it constructive dismissal. And I don't think you can or should work for them, not for another day - as they have shown they can't be trusted.

I know it is a horrible situation, but try not to take it to heart...this is them not you and you shouldn't feel bad. And no of course you don't owe them for the clothes so no way should you pay this. If they attempt to take it off your pay that is likely to be an unlawful deduction of wages, ie. theft.

WildRose42 · 15/05/2023 17:59

OP I’m so sorry to read this has happened to you. This isn’t your fault at all, you covered all your tracks with regards to the bleach, it’s not your fault the family have been ignorant to the fact you told them multiple times you moved it. How rude can they be!

Hold your heard high, you’re not the guilty one. Who keeps moving it back to the cupboard after your moved it. Are they idiots, knowing there’s small children in the house. All they’ve done is pass the blame, knowing it’s them in the wrong but don’t want to look bad. To ask you to fork out for replacement Boden clothing too, this is ridiculous.

Something similar happened to myself many heads ago when I was a full time Carer. I worked for agency, where I did home care. One service user was an old man in his 80s. Had all his faculties and was of sound mind. All that was wrong was he wasn’t too good on his feet so needed help washing and dressing. Everyday was the same, he had a routine. So I followed his routine down to a T and I didn’t ever do anything different as I knew he’d be annoyed and so would his wife. Anyway, one morning I did everything I was meant to. Followed the routine, left happy knowing I’d done my job properly. The next morning, I came back, and just before I went upstairs to meet the service user, his wife called me over to the doorway of their lounge and lashed out and laid into me, having a go and telling me off for something I didn’t do. I was furious but had to remain 100% professional. I explained what she was accusing me off was incorrect. She told me I’d left her husband alone, in the bathroom, undressed before I left their house the morning before and she was disgusted with me. This was not true, I’d made sure the service user was dressed and well before I left. He’d only started taking off his clothes again after I left and blamed me. She was so nasty about it and made me feel so bad. Even though I’d done nothing, she wasn’t having any of it and continued to blame me. This service user was a pervert too, he always tried to touch my breasts, said horrible things to me, sexual things, and I had to remain professional and ignore them. I did report them to the office manager but they didn’t do nothing. I did discuss the sexual harassment with the service users wife on several occasions and told her it was inappropriate, also I had to remind the service user he wasn’t supposed to talk to me that way. His wife didn’t want to know though, she again told me I was lying that her husband wasn’t like that and wouldn’t say those things. Eventually I demanded to my office manager I will no longer be washing and dressing this man. That he keeps trying to touch me and says inappropriate things to me and his wife also accuses me of doing things I didn’t do. They finally listened to me in the office and managed to employ a male carer to attend to the service users needs. I didn’t have to go there again thankfully. Apparently, I heard through the grape vine that the wife and her husband was absolutely gutted I was no longer caring for the man, and they didn’t want the new male carer but it was tough. What she said to me calling me a liar changed things as before I did like her, and after all the crap I put up with from her husband, this was the perfect opportunity for me to refuse to go back.

this will cause animosity between yourself and your employers but if they can sit there an accuse you of something you didn’t do, that says a lot about who they are, this is no reflection on you, it’s on them! Continue to hold your head high, carry on doing what you do, be polite and then eventually leave, don’t work for them anymore. They’ll soon see what they’ve lost!! You deserve better than to be treated that way.

good luck OP

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/05/2023 18:34

That's horrible, @WildRose42 .

I'm glad you finally managed to get out of such an offensive situation - but it shouldn't have taken your employers so long. No-one should have to put up with indecent assault when they are trying to do their job.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 15/05/2023 18:46

They sound unhinged take a witness with you tomorrow to collect your stuff

Daisybuttercup12345 · 15/05/2023 18:50

MyNewWittyUserName · 14/05/2023 15:35

If you moved it three times, how did the kid get hold of it?

Obviously the lady owner kept moving it back.

TheBeesUnwashedKnees · 15/05/2023 18:52

How did it go today?

imgonnabe10 · 15/05/2023 19:01

honestly? I would contact social services she could have been blinded or badly chemically burnt. Which can lead to infection, which can lead to sepsis. The grandparents repeatedly put an open bleach bottle within a child's reach after being warned and it being moved by you? That's absolute madness.

Augustlou30 · 15/05/2023 19:04

Goodness. Please do update us OP. Hope you were able to stand your ground x

kangaroopelicanartic · 15/05/2023 19:09

I'll update properly asap but holy shit it all kicked off big time today. Not at me, i should add. But i had a massive apology from both of them and have it on video that it wasn't my fault.

Gotta get the kiddos to bed then I'll update properly.

OP posts:
sugarrosepetal · 15/05/2023 19:17

So glad they apologised and admitted you weren't at fault.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 15/05/2023 19:30

I think it looks like a set up!

JuneOsborne · 15/05/2023 19:44

Oh wow, this has taken a turn!

LavenderfortheBees · 15/05/2023 19:53

Glad you have been vindicated but why were they blaming you in the first place??? They should remember the conversations.

Was the daughter stirring up trouble?

LaDamaDeElche · 15/05/2023 19:53

Good you got an apology. Have you decided to stay?

Kona84 · 15/05/2023 19:54

Imagine what they would be doing if the baby had drank some of it.
they will blame you for any other injury, accident in their home.
they have shown their colours I would be gone

Stressedannni · 15/05/2023 19:55

You have a target on your back now so I wouldn't stay!

Lougle · 15/05/2023 19:56

That is a result. You must be feeling better.

SequinsandStilettos · 15/05/2023 20:08

Sorry, have been an au-pair: the trust would be completely gone on my side.
I'd be getting my ducks in a row and planning to leave still x

Rogue1001MNer · 15/05/2023 20:08

Great news. Been wondering how it went today

Beverlybeier · 15/05/2023 20:13

I would get in touch with acas and ask them your legal position re constructive dismissal if you feel your position is now untenable

strawberryFforever · 15/05/2023 20:17

They have it on video

Oh Lord!

Bugbabe1970 · 15/05/2023 20:26

Commenting for the update

SiblingFights · 15/05/2023 20:28

Glad you got an apology but that still doesn't make up for the stress they put you through over the weekend

Carpedimum · 15/05/2023 20:29

Interested to know if you knew there are cameras everywhere…