Blamed for something at work that's not my fault

[kangaroopelicanartic]

I work in a private house as a housekeeper to an older couple. They have no young children but have grandchildren who visit very often. The oldest is 8, the youngest 18mo. I work Mon-Fri and have worked for the family for nearly four years.

Last Wed when I went in, I noticed a bottle of bleach in the cupboard under the sink in the utility room that didn't have a cap. I put it on the shelf on the wall where the kids can't reach it and told the lady I'd moved it because I didn't think it was safe to have an open bottle of bleach where the children could reach it. I moved it again on Thur and Fri and again said why to both of them.

I've just had an angry phone call because the littlest grand child found the bleach and tipped it all over herself. She's not hurt (thank god!!!) but it has ruined her clothes along with her mum's.

The family want me to pay to replace them. Both of them are denying that I'd warned them about the bottle and moved it out of reach multiple times. They're Boden clothes and there's no way I can afford to replace them. No one is believing me when I said I'd moved the bleach multiple times. The husband actually said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying."

I'm absolutely devastated because it's always been a good place to work and in general I really like the family. Now i feel like I can't stay because the trust is broken. I just don't know what to do!

Yeah, i think this is bang on. It's a big house and the kids run wild when they visit which has always made me nervous because there's a set of steep steps down into the cellar too.

Fuck em.
just say no-I told you multiple times and moved the bleach to safety each time but you moved it back. You and your family are responsible for supervising your grandchildren. Neither the bleach or your inability to look after your GD are my responsibility

no no no no. Awful behaviour. My cleaner, who I’m so grateful for, has broken REALLY EXPENSIVE wine glasses of mine. Didn’t even occur to me to charge her. Accidents happen. But in this case, it’s not even your fault. Sorry you are going through this OP!

Not going to pay. I just feel so betrayed by them instantly blaming me.

No dementia - they're both mid/late 60s and are still veru active in thr family business.

Whoever moved it is not to blame regardless of who it was The person to blame is the person who should have been supervising the child !

You simply tell them again that you moved it x times and advised whoever you had done that

then advise then that whoever must have moved it again, and that actually as parents of a young child they are responsible for making sure that child does not have an accident

finish the conversation with words such as as the trus5 is now broken you will be giving xx weeks notice of resignation

them find another job

Whether there was a lid on the bottle or not, cleaning products of any kind should not be in a low / floor level cupboard that is not child proof. So it's their fault. My low level cleaning cupboard has a lock, and that's to prevent such things happening if children visit.

The kids have the run of the house unless the LO's nanny is there too then she watches them all.

What do the parents say. The gp are at fault. Do not work for them again, horrible people like this lie. They can claim for new clothes on the insurance.

Go back only to collect your things. Don’t do any more work for them as they won’t pay you for it.

No way does an 8yo pick up a large bottle if bleach, get it on their clothes without getting it on their body.

That's awful. You obviously can't work for them long term, but will you need a reference?

Obviously, this bleach situation is NOT your fault, but if you leave on bad terms, I'm wondering how that will affect your future employment

How utterly horrible. But at least you now know that they are NOT nice people

If you work for them this week you can guarantee your pay will be £70 down on Friday!

So nanny is paid to take care of one child and yet she’s expected to watch all of them? How surprising…

18 month old. I'm assuming she tipped the bottle on herself because I've stopped her a few times when she's been pulling stuff out of cupboards.

Yeah I've been thinking that too. I'm off the last week of May anyway for prebooked holiday.

Probably no chance of getting a decent reference from them either.

If you really need the money, you could work for them, but ask them to pay you in advance. Do you have a notice period? They should give you notice.

I think the only way to get back on good terms with them would be to take the blame and pay for the clothing which I'm not bloody doing. And to be honest even if I did do that, id be worried sick constantly that id get the blame for the next thing that went wrong.

Surely bleach has childproof caps? Any 18mth old wouldn't be able to get the cap off.

It's not your problem. Even if you'd left the bleach there and not told anyone, it wouldn't be your fault. It's the fault of the people who are supervising the children and whoever took the bleach out of the cupboard and removed the cap.

Here's what you do. You leave. Who does he think he is acting like an olden day Lord of the Manor! Do not be intimidated by them. You are not a surf!

The cap was missing from the bottle which is why i moved it in the first place.

Just never go back

And state why in an email

The leaving bit is pretty much a done deal. Just feeling sick about going there to collect my stuff.

(it's serf, by the way. But thank you for the laugh!)

How awful. I am so sorry. I agree with those who said they felt guilty about having put their grandchildren at risk and that it was easier for them to create a fantasy scenario where you put the bleach in reach of the child, rather than their having to accept responsibility for their actions along with the internal guilt of how badly that could have turned out if the child had drunk the bleach rather than simply spilling it upon herself.

This is not repairable but maybe others can weigh in on whether you should write them a note confirming that you put the bleach out of reach and that you do not appreciate being accused of lying and therefore can no longer work for them.

I have to go at least once to collect my stuff (coat, boots, insulated bottle, couple of other bits)