To think that allowing young children to "play out" is a safeguarding concern?

[LongTimeLurker234]

Was just wondering how people feel about children between the ages of say, 6/7/8/9 "playing out" unsupervised by adults for hours, and without a phone. Going to the local parks, shops etc... Are there any laws about it?

I'm posting this because I'm actually concerned for some children, not just because of this issue alone but this is part of it.

YABU- playing out is normal
YANBU - safeguarding concern

It seems to be normal in our area (south Norfolk) but I always worry about the children I see of that age out and about. Much too young imo. I didn’t let my two play out / go out alone until about 11/12 and only then to specified places and to walk to secondary school and back (very short walk, no main roads).

I think it depends on where it’s happening.

In the suburbia I’m familiar with the kids that age play out on the street and in the communal garden area. There are a number of households with kids of similar ages and they play together. Parents set boundaries they have to stick to e.g don’t go further than house X and house y.

Kids are Given a time to be home at. They have watched but no phones.

if they don’t appear (rare) a parent goes out to round them up.

Laws...? About... playing out?! I absolutely despair.

Same. So insanely glad I grew up when I did.

Entirely depends on context. Letting a six year old gp out of sight to play in a busy city centre with cars and people around seems risky to me. Allowing a group of 6-8 year olds to play out together in a park near their houses overseen by one or more parents homes less so. We live rurally and I think mine were going up the field to play in the woods with friends from 6-7 onwards. But the field and woods are literally behind our house and can be seen from our bedroom windows. And the children they were with were 6-11 so if one of them got stuck in a den or fell off the rope swing I assumed they would come and tell us.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old. They are allowed to go together to our local park that I can see from my front door and that's it.
The other night one of my seven year old's class mates was still playing out on his own at 9pm, my children had been in bed for an hour at that point and it was getting dark. I know he lives several streets away and his mother was nowhere to be seen. I cant imagine having that little regard for your child's safety.

I think it entirely depends on where it is. My DC played out from an early age but we were in a small village & literally lived next door to the park so I could see them from the house & there was no road to cross. I hate to see children (or anyone actually) riding bikes without helmets which happens all the time in the small town where we live now.

I think the majority of parents are capable of doing their own risk assessments.

I guess it falls under the realm of neglect if a child is allowed into situations where they don't have the skills to manage their safety or a responsible adult nearby. We always played out in front of our house with clear boundaries of how far we could go and that we had to tell dm first before going to a neighbours house so she knew where we were and could approve depending on her knowledge of the neighbour which if you trust your child is reasonable. I wouldn't let my kid go unsupervised further than that though unless they were in a group that I knew and I knew they were trustworthy. What's suitable and safe for one kid won't be for another so hard to enforce a blanket rule. There's tiny tots of around 5 in our area walk to the local park alone or to the shop all the time and it does make me cringe.

Too many factors to consider to generalise.

Ohhhh noooo not children playing out🙄

I think people underestimate how many weirdos there are about. I remember being about 8/9 and playing at the park outside our house with my friend (which you could literally see from our houses) and our next door neighbour, a man of about 40 who had a son our sort of age, came over to us and asked if we wanted to come back to his house and watch a video with him. 😳 We both felt funny about it and so said no, he was very persistent. We made excuses and went home. Of course you could argue maybe he didn’t have horrid intentions but I am just thankful we didn’t agree to go - another child might have thought, “oh we know him, he lives next door to us a few doors down…” and gone. Children don’t really have the common sense to make these sorts of judgements at younger ages. That’s one of the reasons I’m so protective of letting my kids out.

Maybe I’m too London but I do not get this “playing out” thing - no way in hell would I let my 6 year old be out without an adult present. Secondary school age fine, that’s when they can travel too and from school alone- earlier than that, no!

It's quite normal in my housing estate in the north east. However I'm from London so hell will freeze over before my kids play out. Not least because although this is a lovely estate and everyone is v nice etc, but I've had two cats run over (and killed) because people drive too fast

So sad that this concerns you. But if you live somewhere with needles in bushes and what not then I get it.

It's normal here, there's no law against it.

Yr5+ (9/10yo) playing out after school is normal here. Same as going to and from school. Half have phones. Tbh I reckon mine would lose one if I gave her one!

In our previous home, it was 7+... but it was an Army base with restricted access. They couldn't wander off, no traffic and no strangers. And they knew better than to leave the residential bit to go near the working bits!

Depends on context. I work in social care and see many reports made about children playing out. They tend to be because the child is say 4/5 and out playing until late evening, not necessarily near their house with additional factors like being unsupervised by a busy road or a river etc. Often they have been annoying members of the public so throwing stones etc which has drawn attention. Usually the parents end up being known to social services and there are other risk factors that make them unable to adequately supervise their children.
The above is different to children being allowed to go to the park or play in the street near their home until a reasonable time. Presumably you have additional concerns that make you think this is not ok?

We stay in a cul-de-sac with families very similar to ours.

The kids go out to play, its quiet and parents are always about.

My kids are now 10 and 8 and have both played outside for a few years now, we have some rules.

If they are moving to another road within cul-de-sac they have to come in and tell me.

If they are going into one of their friends house same applies.

I speak to them about strangers and different scenarios they could encounter.

I honestly think I was one of the last to benefit from being an actual child, and Im 36 now. My poor younger step brother was RARELY allowed out front of the house, wasnt allowed past the lamp post a few foot past the drive, what a miserable existence! How do they make friends like that? We have a go at them for living on technology when we took their freedom and left them with nothing else to do.

The best memories of my life are pre-10, being carefree, running around with children from the area, climbing trees, rolling down hills, crossing icy ponds to get to the little island in the middle (ok, bad example, but no one got hurt and we had a great time!)

Im so lucky to have had that. The media has a lot to answer for. I genuinely dont believe times are much less safe than they were, its just rammed down our throats now and everyone is terrified.

Well - it was completely normal a generation ago in many parts of the country. The major change - despite fears of 'strangers ' etc - is the massive rise in car ownership. Cars - parked and moving - have essentially 'driven' kids off streets.

So - no of course it isn't inherently a safeguarding concern.

My son was 9 or 10 and playing out - going around nearby streets - to the park without a phone. I actually felt he was safer without a phone - couldn't get distracted for starters! I wanted to learn/ and him to learn how to move around knwoing where he was without a phone.

Some children who are out and about may not be being looked after but I don't think the two are related.

personally I actively encourage mine to go out without me as much as is possible for their age, the local traffic and whether there are other children to play safely with.

Where I live it’s really normal, it’s a rural community where everyone knows everyone else which I think is why it’s more acceptable here. Parents are always watching out for all the kids, not just their own and would help/intervene if needed. My kids have been allowed to ‘play out’ from around 6 providing they follow a specific set of rules. Ie at first you are allowed to play outside the garden on grassy area but the area increases as they got older until they were allowed to go to the park or ‘call on’ friends. I accept its not without its risks but I feel the risks are actually small in reality and there are benefits to having some freedom that outweigh the risks.

I mean when I was younger I'd be out all day with my friends, usually on my bike and there were no mobile phones then. I always told my parents where I was going and they knew the phone numbers of my friends parents.

I think there's a big difference between a 6yo and a 9yo. It also depends on each individual child. At 9 I was allowed to get the bus myself to the next town to spend my pocket money at the shops but I know 9yos now who struggle to do anything for themselves and I can't imagine them doing that.

My DSD is 5 and her mum lets her play out unsupervised and sometimes when she's not even home. I do think 5 is far too young and my DSD is definitely not equipped to deal with difficult situations.

My friends and I would take sandwiches and a canteen full of squash and disappear from 10am to tea time. No phones, no supervision.

Part of growing up. Perfectly normal.

what people actually 'underestimate' is how many weirdos are online grooming kids from the 'safety' of their own bedrooms. There is much less risk in an actual park with other people around - particularly if the child is with friends which of course they should be.

And laws against children going to a shop ?? are you serious??

Would all children ideally just sit indoors or go out 'escorted' by adults for sueprvised play - at what point would they learn to be independent?

Small amounts of independence are how children grow - and the more children are outside, the safer they all are.

I believe the loss of freedom for children to play widely and in large numbers on residential streets is the tragedy of our times.