To think that allowing young children to "play out" is a safeguarding concern?

[LongTimeLurker234]

Was just wondering how people feel about children between the ages of say, 6/7/8/9 "playing out" unsupervised by adults for hours, and without a phone. Going to the local parks, shops etc... Are there any laws about it?

I'm posting this because I'm actually concerned for some children, not just because of this issue alone but this is part of it.

YABU- playing out is normal
YANBU - safeguarding concern

The fact you see this as even possibly a. Issue shows how fucked up the uk society is now.

In the 80s as a child of aged about 6/7 we lived on an army housing estate. Was relatively safe, no one had mobile phones and we used to play outside, not far from home though. There was a small park out the back that I used to play in, with loads of other kids.
But there was no internet, children had to amuse themselves in those days.

Never seen kids this age playing outside by themselves. Could they be older than what you are guessing.

I played out all the time as a child and for the most part was fine.
When I was 6 however, someone tried to kidnap me when I was playing out. Thankfully I got away but he went on to rape and murder two other children.
I feel genuine fear about the kind of world my children are growing up in and the thought of letting them play out unsupervised fills me with genuine terror. I know it's a me issue but I'd rather them be mad at me for being a bore than have anything bad happen to them.

Also, fuck the daily mail.

My fondest memories as a child were playing out with my friends, climbing trees, riding bikes or roller skates, playing tig or knock door run. I was like a free range chicken growing up.

As long as children are taught stranger danger, not to play in the road and the area is relatively safe than I would say it’s ok.

Context is key here.

I was allowed to play out unsupervised as a child, I can't remember from what age, but definitely under 10. If it makes a difference though, it was mainly in a private communal outside area. Though there was never any adult supervision, and we often climbed over walls to places outside the prescribed area. Never any bad experiences, just a few scrapes from playing.

Is being able to game with or video call friends any different from knocking on really? Same thing for a new time. Still some dangers but I'm happy for my 11yr old to use xbox and phone with my monitoring etc

But I might not know what he's doing for 3hrs under headphones in the same house or room much like if he went out with mates for 3hrs

What's changed that makes us so fearful of allowing our kids freedom

In the 80s and 90s i used to
Play out at 6/7/8

Traffic was bad then too

Weirdos and peados were just as prevalent

We didnt have mobiles

What's changed?

katemulberrybush
Less sense of community, fewer police on the beat, people being more concerned about strangers being a threat to their child than realising most harm to children comes from the family and family friends.

I suspect changes in lifestyle also makes a difference. With two working parents and children in daycare and wraparound care there's less time for children to develop the independence required to safely play out. Instead of playing out the front under supervision after school, then being allowed to a nearby grassy area/field, then allowed to walk to the shop/park, lots of children haven't got that because modern life relies on two working parents in many situations.

I wonder whether the nature of play is changing too. As more and more children spend more time on devices than free play, they lose the independence to work out what to do if they're bored and turn that into age-appropriate play.

There's also the issue that mobile phones can be the source of harm. Children can access a range of disturbing and unsafe content from their devices and we can't do anything about the parents who choose not to put appropriate restrictions in place. I'm not bothered about DC playing out, bit I am worried about what content they will be exposed to when they're a little older if they're around other children who have no online boundaries.

I think playing out from 8/9 is OK. I see people on here saying they dont even let their 11 year olds out. I guess it depends where you live but if it's a safe area, then I think it's good to promote independence. My just turned 9 year old plays out with a girl in our street. It's a side street, so not a lot of traffic and is pretty safe . This Summer I'll let her go to the shop on her own for the first time.we've talked about road safety etc and there isn't a busy road to cross.

Well, no. Not all of "us" are still here, the child mortality rate in 1981 was nearly 5 times the child mortality rate now because society takes active steps to reduce excess deaths and things like safeguarding reviews and changes to the law help shape parenting practices. Times move on and attitudes change, every generation has it's pros and cons but let's not pretend that children in previous generations were living in some Enid Blyton-esque golden age where no one was harmed by willful benign (or not so benign) neglect from the adults around them.

My dad lost two siblings in childhood. One was hit by a car on their way to school aged 6 and the other died of what would now be called SIDS. In my own childhood I can recall a boy in my school getting run over and dying, another boy died after falling through a shed roof he was climbing on, a girl died of an accidental overdose of OTC medications. I was emotionally abused and it wasn't recognised because it was just "strict" parenting. I was sometimes physically abused and that also wasn't recognised because parents had a right to hit their children within reason and hand-shaped bruises on me did not contravene that because hands were fine, a teacher even said to me that it would be different if it was a shoe-shaped bruise.

As a society we know more now about child development than our parents did. We know more about the importance of childhood to the point that the UK is signed up to the UN Convention of the Rights of The Child which recognises childhood as a special time in need of protection. We know about safer sleep now. We know about seatbelts. We know about supervising children more closely. We know about safeguarding and thresholds for safeguarding are now lower. We know about the importance of education. We know about the dangers of smoking. We know about carseats and so on and so on. The reason we know and have these things is, in part, because of the loss of those of "us" who didn't survive childhood.

I say this as someone is favour of children playing out, my own children play out, and children do need to take risks in order to learn how to navigate the world but it has to be in reason. There is a middle ground to be had between turfing them out all day with no idea where they are and keeping them cooped up inside with eyes/ears on them at all times.

I think asking if there's a law is a valid question as you couldn't leave a 7yr old at home alone legally but if the child went to the park alone it is legal...which seems contradictory.

Depends on the child but wouldn't entertain the idea of being out alone for an under 9.

Three things to consider

1. A young child shouldn't be responsible for a younger sibling.
2. An old cheap (not smart) phone may help (got one from Argos couple of years ago for 99p). We got DS3 one with a promise if he looks after it he could get a better one on his 11th bday.
3. I'm a little wary that quiet areas are thought of as safe (they maybe but maybe not as less witnesses for weirdos). Seen too many documentaries where people say ....

Things like that don't happen here Or I was watching but just looked away for a minute.

I was 1 of a group that stayed out a lot as a kid....loved it....but several dodgy things happened from car accidents to chasing a weird bloke away from some ridiculously younger kids that shouted us to help...9year olds protecting 5/6 yr olds- madness !

I think a lot of it is probably that everyone is busier now. Children tend to go to childcare, clubs/activities, parents might have their own clubs/activities they go to as well, a lot of children don't live in walking distance to school so also don't live walking distance from friends' houses, etc. So then you get the outcome that the kids can't play out because there's no one to play with or it's too far to their friends or it's too late in the evening or they don't have time because dance class/cubs/swimming/violin.

About 10 years ago my little 5 year old sister was playing outside, all the kids in the neighbourhood, did we occasionally watched from the windows but they were very independent and even went together to the local shop.
One day 2 older ladies stopped and started speaking to my sister who was alone because all the other kids decided to go to the next street and she didn't want to go. Anyway we could see lady's were concerned 😄
We literally had to step in because it seemed as if they were about to call the police acting all shocked to see a child alone. And my sister was not much of a talker when she was younger, (years later she said she actually felt confused by their questions so she refused to speakto them, which probably made them worry more lol!)
I wanted to say go away, ur not even from the area!
Imagine I hadn't been at the window at that time, the cheek

We would never allow it in our house when they were that age.

I played outside of the street at a local park with friends at 8/9 YO without a phone. We'd be out for hours during summer holidays. I was taught about safely crossing roads and stranger danger, and that was that.

primary school aged children aren’t mentally equipped to make these judgement calls themselves.

Primary covers 7-11, a wide range but at the upper end it's this kind of pseudo-psych comment that means many parents in August are wetting themselves with fear, and transmitting it to their poor child, about their child walking to High School themselves! If an 11 year old is, for no other reason than parental hysteria, incapable of making a short journey alone then something has gone seriously wrong with how they're been brought up. Anxiety is probably one of the most transmitted disease, yet more pseudo-psych!

Depends on the area, how much crime there is and hazards. As kids we were instructed not to go near the river, or railway line, on pain of never being allowed out again.

One of my son’s friends is 12 and still doesn’t go out without a parent! He’s bigger than me and I’m not short!

Lots saying 'It's different now'

For many it's not different. Where I live in Scotland we happily let our kids out play.

With the length of time and geographical limits increasing by age.

My kids pretty much have the same freedoms I did as a child.

What's different is they have phones, they wear bike helmets and the Scottish government has issued them with free bus passes to fund their travel when they go further afield.

It's not different for us and many others.

I used to play out all the time as a kid, I'd be out of the house all day in the summer, completely unstructured, unsupervised activity. It's sad that kids aren't given that freedom today, it's an important part of growing up.

If you have a genuine safeguarding concern (not just playing out) then I'd report it to social care. The school might not take the information any further.
Tbh I work in the CP field and there are far worse things going on than kids playing out alone.
Obviously we don't all parent the same and things have definitely changed since the 70s when I grew up and we were all playing out, walking to the park or school on our own. I think the streets felt safer then as there were lots of kids out and about without parents where now it's rare.
My daughter played out at quite a young age as we had an area that was safe right outside our house in a cul de sac and obviously had strict rules about not leaving the street until she was older.
However I think by secondary school age a child should be able to independantly walk or get a bus to school or to the town and able to go to the local shops alone.
It's actually good for the development and independence to learn to do this. We are there to nurture our children into being adults after all not keeping them wrapped in cotton wool until they are 18

IMO "it not being safe to let kids play out" is a self-fulfilling prophecy as the main reason it's not safe is that the only kids who play out are the reprobates whose parents don't give a shit about them. If more parents allowed it it'd be far safer.

How do you expect your 11 year old cope at Secondary school ?