To think that allowing young children to "play out" is a safeguarding concern?

[LongTimeLurker234]

Was just wondering how people feel about children between the ages of say, 6/7/8/9 "playing out" unsupervised by adults for hours, and without a phone. Going to the local parks, shops etc... Are there any laws about it?

I'm posting this because I'm actually concerned for some children, not just because of this issue alone but this is part of it.

YABU- playing out is normal
YANBU - safeguarding concern

We have so lost touch of what a good childhood looks like

There are obviously cases when children are being neglected but that is very different from allowing children to play out and I think putting the two together is really dangerous.
I personally think what we are doing to children by keeping them cooped up inside is far more dangerous and detrimental to their long-term health and well-being.

THIS. I am always amazed at people who say, "we had a dodgy experience but we were okay but I don't want to risk it with my children" when it was the very fact that you had been taught to spot dodgy behaviour etc, that kept you safe. A child who is at home all the time and over protected will not get this experience.

Your guidelines are too vague. 6 is very different to 9. Playing out in a friendly area with known neighbours is very different to playing out in an out of the way park far from home etc.

Was just about to say this. I don’t know why people can’t even check their own facts - there actually are cases of kids being murdered by strangers when playing out but instead that poster chooses one that doesn’t even fit the description.

But for that matter children died in the Ariana Grande concert terrorist attack so I suppose we mustn’t let our kids go to concerts or plays. And children have died in car accidents so any car trips are of course not allowed. And I suppose going back to the case that poster tried to use we can’t use babysitters. And since so many children are killed or abused in their own home by family members or friends (the most common type of abuse) I guess we shouldn’t even live with our kids.

Was very normal to me as a child. Always a group of us. My mum always said she thought I was sensible and told me very early on about peodophiles/stranger danger.

Always a group of us so not unsupervised as such.

I agree a pedophile can reach your child through there phone in the safety of their own home.

They might be overlooking it because that isn’t what she started the thread on. If she has a lot of concerns about specific children of course that’s relevant. But children playing out seemed to be the only concern in the op, and that in and of itself is not a concern.

I was allowed to play out from age 4 onwards,
I remember running away from peados
Older kids showing us their dicks asking if we wanted to lick.
Getting into fights with other kids
Brother nearly drowning in the pond.

No way would I expose my kids to this shit.
When we moved to a new area, neighbours thought I was stuck up because I wouldn't allow my 4 year old to play out.

Once on way home from school, the 7 yr old took her round the block (long way back to our houses) my neighbour "ohhhh it be fine" and before I had a chance to say no my dd was running after him.
I had to walk around the block because she was crying because a car reversed out and she thought it was going to hit her.

And because I won't allow her to play on the green with other kids I get looked down upon!

I don't give a shit. Prevention is better than "oh never knew it would happen to me"

Well the age for playing out depends on location and the child’s ability to deal with common issues as to whether it’s ok. Parents can and should be able to make their own assessments.

Stop trying to make new laws and impose a one size fits all restriction on everyone. I’m really sick of the ‘there should be a law’ brigade. Leave people alone.

They should be locked up on their devices instead (no I don't actually mean that)

But far out

Surely it depends entirely on the context? When we were kids in the 80s, we lived in a close which was full of families with kids our age. We'd be in and out of each others gardens, down the street out of sight, roller skating, bikes etc. There were a lot of cars but they had to go slowly. I hope it's still the same there now though it probably isn't.

If a family lives somewhere where playing out might mean ending up straying onto a busy A road, or being accidentally stabbed with a needle, not so much.

Blanket laws against it though is the worst thing I can think of

In her initial op she states she has other concerns of which this is just one and after she said she doesn’t want to share too much info- I assume because it might risk her anonymity.

We always played out. We lived on a main road in a terrace house and all the children played out. In front of about 10 houses. We also played in our entry behind the houses and went to our local park which was across a less busy road. We were very street wise and stuck to the rules. We never crossed the main road and always asked if we could go to the park and were never walking around alone. Sad but I’m not sure if I’ll let my children have that much freedom?! My mum said she wouldn’t do it now?

it is not responsible. people on our streets do it and kids used to climb dangerous fences, brake tree branches, run on majour roads, scratch cars you name it. If you tell something the parents they will make you the vile one. So.....anyway

Right, so she wants advice on this particular thing, which is not overly concerning.

It’s like saying ‘is eating cereal normal? I have some concerns about a child but don’t want to share any details.’

Of course eating cereal is normal. If you come back and drip feed that the children are only fed one bowl of cereal every second day and nothing else that is of course concerning. Without context people can only respond to the information given.

Gosh some of you live in some very rough areas.

This kind of thing is always going to depend on area. Its normal where I live in Finland for children of that age to play out but my particular estate has no pavements or any common area for playing in but the houses all have large gardens so naturally the children play in the gardens rather than 'playing out' but in the previous area I live the back gardens all connected to each other (there were no back fences) and at the front there were communal yards and a playground just across the (barely used) road so the children played out all the time, from as young as 3 (with older siblings)

It certainly wasn't a safeguarding concern to the social workers there, DD had a social worker because of a difficult custody situation with her dad and I remember one time her social worker came round to talk to me and she sent DD, 4 at the time, out to play with the neighbourhood children.

Me too. Kids these days remind me of animals in a zoo. No chance to ever go out and explore the wider world alone.

Prevention is better than "oh never knew it would happen to me"

I agree that prevention is better, but to me, prevention doesn't mean not allowing my DC to leave the house. it means teaching them how to be safe, letting them try new things and gain additional independence at appropriate times and places etc.

And from what I've seen with a few children around here/at school - the ones whose parents are the most paranoid and don't let them out, seem to go a little crazy the moment the do get some independence.

I agree, it’s entirely contextual. Which is why people news to advise the op to get advice from an appropriate place after sharing the whole context of her concerns. Rather than ranting about free play and how it was fine to play out on the 80s and suggesting there is no issue…when in reality there may well be an issue. We don’t know.

We live on a housing estate. And a lot of kids play out in groups.

It depends on where you live, what your neighbours are like, is it a busy street - there’s so many variables.
There’s loads of kids in my street so I’d be happy to let my son play out when he’s older but I have good neighbours who would keep an eye out plus probably give them a bollocking if they was naughty which I fully support haha!

It really depends on a variety of factors, location, actual age, how far they go etc. My kids play out. They are 11 and 6.5 years old. We live in a nice area in the north of Scotland were all the neighbours know each other. My 11 year old can go to the local shop himself, meet his friends at the park etc but my 6 year old is only allowed were I can see him. There is a huge difference between a 6 and 9 year old in terms of what they are capable off.

I work in child protection and the biggest risk to children is not being snatched but being groomed online. Kids as young as 5 have phones, access to iPads etc and it's often unmonitored. The child who is playing outside there parents front door is generally far safer than the child who is in a room on there own on technology talking to people they had never met. Parents think there kids are safe as they are inside and let them guard down.

Illegal to play out 🤣 ffs

This is such a valid point.

I knew everyone in my mums street and now I’ve got my own house I’m getting to know people the same, but I’m lucky I have quite friendly neighbours and it’s a family based area.

In my old house it was all young professionals, no kids so very little interaction with neighbours becaus everyone was busy which isn’t a bad thing just a different vibe.

Depends.

Where I live now In London NO - as a child would be at risk of being run over.

On a cul-de-sac I used to live on it would have been fine at the time due to the parking restrictions. Now as they have built more housing and put parking bays on the road it wouldn't be.

Where one of my friends moved to when she moved out of London it would have been fine as there is a playground and field specifically designed for children to play in.