Grey hair really getting me down

[Whowahway123]

ok, I know it’s pure vanity and grand scheme of things 1st world problem but I cannot explain how much having my hair like makes me feel so embarrassed.

im turning 40 in a couple of weeks and recently had a few major life changes so everything feels very ‘a lot’ at the minute.

This picture shows 6weeks hair growth. Usual appointment costs £90 without cutting just to blend roots & a few highlights. I cannot afford this due to COL and I have an inkling my hairdresser is going to put her rates up, which I totally understand.

how can I mentally let go of worrying about having grey hair? How can I embrace it?
I’ve looked online and seen some really funky grey styles, but I’m definitely not ‘funky’ enough to carry them off.

Aibu for being so vain it actually has made me cancel plans for this weekend because of it?

I know I am, but please tell me some positive grey hair late 30s / early 40s stories. Thanks

Not vain at all, OP.
In between salon visits, I colour my roots using Schwartzkopf touch-up.
Costs a few quid, takes 10 mins, and gives a nice shine too.
Or, L'Oréal has a touch-up spray.

Just do a box colour. Costs a tenner. Looks like you need very light brown.

I’m 37 and have absolutely tonnes of grey hair. I’m really dark so there’s no hiding it. I used to dye it but for similar reasons to you, I had to cut back and am now trying to push forward without it. The first six months were the worst when the roots were growing out. Now that the grey is more or less the same length as the rest of the dark hair (it’s bobbed) it actually looks okay. So I’d say, if you can grit your teeth and grow out those roots. If you can’t, you could consider dying at home (although obviously highlights are not so easy to do yourself)?

I just cropped mine and let it regrow in its natural colour - its a pretty similar colour to yours but I was a bit older when I took the plunge

Have you tried Wow powder. A friend of mine uses this and says it's really good. It's temporary but does the job fine.

Sorry should have said - hairdresser won’t touch my hair if I box dye in between, root touch up or anything else. I have been using the colour wow powder stuff but I sweat it out within a couple of hours (sorry tmi)
the L’Oréal spray, there is something I’m allergic / sensitive to in it and because my greys are close to my face, I become red and blotchy within minutes of spraying it on.

I DIY as I couldn’t justify salon prices. Seems to improve the condition or maybe seems that way as it’s a more uniform colour. Just buy a box at supermarket. Stylists are really negative about DIY dye but they would be when they charge £££.

whats your bigger priority, your vanity or pissing off a hairdresser whos charging you a fortune

hairdressers always give the dont use diy dye as a lot of people dont go back to them for colouring. its highly unlikely your current hairdresser will refuse to touch your hair if you use box dye, and if they do, then find a different hair dresser

I think as others said, it will look better if you just grow it out. You could start to use semi-permanent box dyes yourself to ease you through that period. The ones that last 20 dyes. You won’t have that harsh line showing regrowth, more of a slow fade. Or, talk to your hair dresser and explain the regrowth means your colour isn’t working for you and see if they have any suggestions for colouring your hair that at least gives you longer between dyes.

Greying hair looks worse when it has the stark contrast of dyed hair next to it. If it costs a bomb to keep having it professionally done, your options are home dye or gritting your teeth to let it grow out.

I went the grow it out route at 42 as I couldn’t justify the hairdressing bill anymore. My hair looked way better once all the dye was gone (two years, shoulder length) and I love it now. I regularly tone the silver with purple shampoo to show it up even more. It does age me a bit, but I’m at the stage where I don’t give a toss about that anymore.

Do you use the purple all over or do you have to target the grey bits? I am about 30% grey now and would like to have it pop a bit more.

Get a new hairdresser if they are that punitive. Use a box dye full stop! Choose a colour that you love and stick with that. Cheap and effective.

Find a cheaper salon. And perhaps get less highlights. They should be able to blend the root touch up down into your highlights.

Sounds like you need to choose which route you want to go down then, salon or commit to being a box dyer.

I have very dark hair and get grey which stands out loads so I box dye it totally every few months but use the root touch up in between which avoids dye build up on the lengths.

Obviously you might need to ditch the highlights if you home dye unless you have a talented friend or learn to do it yourself.

Superdrug colour shampoo, blends out the grey for around £3 a week.

A friend got fed up dying her hair to cover the grey so she had it all dyed grey.... it looks amazing.

She uses a purple shampoo for grey hair.
She actually looks younger with the grey hair.

I'm fairly grey and the colour doesn't bother me but my grey hair frizzes and is really wiry so I comb this stuff called Suriya Brasil henna cream through and it is amazing! You can buy it online. I only use the colours with no red in - light brown, dark brown - any ash tones. Colours the grey better than any other non permanent I've used and also just makes the hair soft and shiny. Washes out, so no lines. I do it once a week.

I started greying in my early 20s and box dyed it until I was 35. Stopped when I got pregnant - I just couldn’t keep up with it as my hair grows too fast and I felt like I had permanent roots showing. I was also just curious about how it would look.

I’m 41 now and I get a lot of compliments on the colour - it’s a very nice silver-grey with a proper white streak at the temples which looks cool, I think. I don’t find it to be ageing at all - weirdly, almost the opposite. It complements my skin tone/eye colour and looks pretty striking with bright-coloured clothing. There is hope, if you do decide to ditch the dye!

Will your hairdresser cut your hair or is she refusing to do anything if you box dye it? Frankly, I'd change hairdresser. You also have light tones in your hair - you could ask how best to blend the roots so your natural hair blends in better with the tints?

I'm 42 and I box dye my hair ginger. I'm nowhere near ready to grow it out fully grey / white as it's only about 5-10% coverage. My hairdresser said to come see him for a colour blend for the whole lot when it's more like 50% grey - I guess I'll have to stop dyeing it a few months before that!

YABU as this is easily fixed. I DIY it with esalon. More expensive than off the shelf box dye but cheaper than the hairdresser (about £35).

All done online, send a few photos, they mix up colour, post it to you with instructions.

I have to do my roots as I have very dark hair with patchy grey areas & would look like a mutant raccoon if I grew it out.

The worst part is growing it out. I’m hoping mine will be all natural by 50 next year and then I’ll reassess. The root showing stage is the worst. The touch was good for this but for me.

@DumboLives how long does it last? Is it properly vibrant? I've considered it, but as a ginger wannabe, I want something that actually works on white hair (mines more white than grey) and lasts!

I dye my own. I don't do highlights though, I stick to my natural colour. Roots every 8-10 weeks and blend through to the ends in the last 10 min

Looks great, once I've shampooed it a couple of times the natural variation in shade starts to show and it doesn't have that flat/all over look that harsh dyes have.

You need a new hairdresser. I use a box dye inbetween and my (a not cheap, nice London salon) have no issue with it.

Try esalon. They give you an online consult and tailor the dye to you. About £20 per box. Its excellent

Talk to your stylist about wanting to grow it out and come up with a plan for color to grow it out gracefully. Otherwise switch to home dye.