Grey hair really getting me down

[Whowahway123]

ok, I know it’s pure vanity and grand scheme of things 1st world problem but I cannot explain how much having my hair like makes me feel so embarrassed.

im turning 40 in a couple of weeks and recently had a few major life changes so everything feels very ‘a lot’ at the minute.

This picture shows 6weeks hair growth. Usual appointment costs £90 without cutting just to blend roots & a few highlights. I cannot afford this due to COL and I have an inkling my hairdresser is going to put her rates up, which I totally understand.

how can I mentally let go of worrying about having grey hair? How can I embrace it?
I’ve looked online and seen some really funky grey styles, but I’m definitely not ‘funky’ enough to carry them off.

Aibu for being so vain it actually has made me cancel plans for this weekend because of it?

I know I am, but please tell me some positive grey hair late 30s / early 40s stories. Thanks

I agree with everyone saying go much lighter! I have dark hair but very grey on my hairline.
My hairdresser is very good with colour. She persuaded me to have balayage and lighten all over - I actually looked very blonde for a while which was a big change. Now it has gradually grown out but made the transition for the grey much easier. It's still dark underneath and at the back, but I have blonde (very fine) highlights in the grey to give it a bit of warmth. It looks very natural and I only have the highlights done every 3 or 4 months. You don't see a line, but the colour gets a bit steelier rather than a mix of grey and blonde.
I don't think your current set of highlights works with greying hair.

Thing is, hair dressers are going to see a reduction in clients as the COL gets worse. People just cant justify it anymore. So then they have to put their prices up again, and so it continues.
Embrace the grey!

@Whowahway123 Same here. Hairdressers local to me are now charging £200 (yes TWO HUNDRED POUNDS!) for a cut & quarter head of highlights. I can’t/won’t pay that & I’m scared of box dye after a bad experience years ago where my hair turned yellow & I had to spend a fortune having it corrected, so I’m (slightly reluctantly) growing out the colour & trying to embrace the grey.

This is me at 2 months regrown. I think I’ll be ok with it once it’s all grey but the growing out process is annoying. However I know several women who grew out their colour during lockdown & they all look much better than before, so I’m holding on to that thought! I’m also going to save the money I’d usually spend on highlights & do something fun with it (big incentive as I’ve always hated going to the hairdressers).

As others have said there’s lots of groups on Insta etc. for encouragement if you did decide to go natural. Good luck!

@Chipswithketchup your hair looks amazing

That’s really kind. Thank you 😊

I grew out my grey and tbh I quite liked it but it did age me considerably. When I caved one day and coloured it all, my manager was shocked, she hadn't seen me not grey and said I looked 10-15 years younger and like a different person! She went on about it for ages and couldn't believe how good I looked! 😂

I am wavering again after putting on L'Oréal Professional a little too dark.

Lovely Hal9001 mines 5 months in, I’m lot older than you and must admit mine looks a mess very dark brown with grey, but I’m hanging in there and refuse to cover it! Won’t be going back to dying it only another Approx six more cuts then it’s out forever

Trying to post pic but it won’t let me

It looks worse cos its growing out. I went really drastic and shaved my dye off in lockdown and just wore a hat until it grew out, there is no dye in mine at all now and I think it looks ok

I have the same situation. £100 for streaks that I get every 10 weeks. 3 weeks in my grey patches start coming through. In between my hairdresser recommended Colour Wow Root touch up. It's a powder so not messy, dabs onto the grey and stays there until the next time you wash your hair, doesn't come off on pillows etc. Its around £30 but lasts ages, i'm still on my first compact 12 months later. It really is good and I've put a number of people onto it. Far superior to the sprays which just sprayed my scalp and looked a mess. Honestly try it, you will be thrilled you did!

@YellowHatt Your hair looks gorgeous. Can I ask what you have done? Is the grey natural & the bottom balayage? (Excuse my ignorance, I'm useless with hair...)

Im 37 and I have grey hair EVERYWHERE.

I visit my hairdresser every 6 weeks and shave the rest off 😁

I’ve been going grey since I was 25 though. THAT was hard to swallow 😂

Use henna. Covers grey. Nourishes hair. Makes it thick and glossy. Costs about 4 quid for 6+ weeks coverage. You just hsve to sit around with it on your head for a few hours, looking like a clingfilm alien.

It’s not me (I should have said!), it’s Nic Went Grey on Instagram https://instagram.com/nic_went_gray?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

She had her ends blended to nearly match the grey roots and mids, so it looked basically like ombré balayage.

I do think it's odd to cancel fun plans because of roots.

What do you think people are going to do or say? Shun you in the street? Make fun of you? Ghost you out of a friendship, because you have ROOTS?

I'm 50 & have gone from dyed red this time last year to grey (I have short hair). I let my dye bleach out over last summer, then now use Igora Royal Pure Silver dye (with 3% peroxide) all over about once every 8 weeks to brighten the grey I have. I felt I needed darkened my eye shadow colours but otherwise am very happy with being silver early (rather than fighting it). Get lots of compliments. Silver Sisters in FB is (as others have said) a good group for inspiration & advice.

Jack Martin is an amazing colourist - he's in the US & expensive but he posts the full dye instructions for his transformations in the post noted, so others can copy him (which is really unusual).

If you're worried enough about your roots when going out, then hats or wigs are the way forward.

I’ve had grey hair since I was 18 so had time to get used to it (35 now). I let it grow out but it still gets me down from time to time..

I use box dyes around €6 a go.

They are really good and cover grey well.

I think whether you can pull off grey under 50 partly depends on how much grey you have and your original colour. Mine is about 30% but only in patches at the moment. Original colour is medium brown. The mixture of grey and my hair colour looks awful on me. I look old and sick.

For now I can get away with box dying the grey patches because my natural brown colour has a fair bit of variation and by using a slightly darker dye around my face and temple it blends in well. Once I start to get more greys I’m going to try going blonde and if that gets too much of a hassle or too expensive will box dye all over, at least for a while.

Box colour. I understand why they aren't as good and hairdressers hate them, but I also need to at least feel a little better about myself!!!!

I can't box dye (itchy, so not risking allergic reaction in the future), and I usually get foils on mine to blend in the grey. I don't like the expense so usually grow it out quite a bit before getting it done, and the blonde I have covers it v well up to a point.
I'm 50 next year so I'm going to see how long I can bear growing out the grey for as I quite like the really white bits I have, but don't like the salt and pepper as much.

You could try John Freida Defy Grey shampoo and conditioner. Just leave it on for 3 minutes and rinse. It is amazing and well priced

Use a colour gloss. It's a colouring conditioner. Savers and Superdrug sell them.

Shop around for hairdressers. Many do it cheaper if you bring your own box dyes in.

I'd ditch the hairdresser with the pompous demands, and do it yourself with box dye. Her dye-job doesn't look very good to me, and certainly not worth following her edicts to never fill in your own roots, even with a semi-permanent which would have little to no effect on her future work at next appointment.