Grey hair really getting me down

[Whowahway123]

ok, I know it’s pure vanity and grand scheme of things 1st world problem but I cannot explain how much having my hair like makes me feel so embarrassed.

im turning 40 in a couple of weeks and recently had a few major life changes so everything feels very ‘a lot’ at the minute.

This picture shows 6weeks hair growth. Usual appointment costs £90 without cutting just to blend roots & a few highlights. I cannot afford this due to COL and I have an inkling my hairdresser is going to put her rates up, which I totally understand.

how can I mentally let go of worrying about having grey hair? How can I embrace it?
I’ve looked online and seen some really funky grey styles, but I’m definitely not ‘funky’ enough to carry them off.

Aibu for being so vain it actually has made me cancel plans for this weekend because of it?

I know I am, but please tell me some positive grey hair late 30s / early 40s stories. Thanks

I'm with you on this one.
Normally have my hair done by a hairdresser at home but the cost is getting out of hand.
£85 it costs is an awful lot of money but I do worry about using a shop bought box treatment incase it goes wrong.

That is brave of both you and your your stylist. Glad it’s working, but I’m not sure I’s recommend for anyone else.

I’m early thirty’s and been greying since I was 21, I’m very dark too! I use root spray between colours, sometimes not a perfect match depending on colours but much prefer to grey roots.

Got a grey pube.

I not a box dye. I have done for decades be brave

I went grey very young, only in one area and it's still mostly in that area. Going blonde was the best thing I ever did - I've been blonde and brown many times in my life... I was a mid brown and I had to get my roots done every 4 weeks or it would look terrible.

Now I can stretch my highlights out to 8 weeks, could probably go longer.

Can you part it slightly over, or is there grey there too?

I ditched the dye (highlights) quite young. Didn’t like the hassle or the expense. But also I have a sensitive scalp and even the ammonia free salon stuff irritated it.

Get compliments on the colour and feel happy with it and the freedom. Also have enjoyed being able to grow it longer than shoulder length for first time in adulthood as condition is better, and I focus more on the cut and styling

Ditch the highlights and find a new hairdresser. You can get a tint regrowth for a lot less than £85/£90

Have a look at Silver Sisters group on Facebook if you want encouragement and positive stories about going grey at all ages.

I do t think you are being vain at all, my grey hair started coming through in 40,s I boxed dyed it for another 20 odd years I’m now leaving it to come through and loving the silver can’t wait until the rest comes out, grey hair can look amazing at any age especially with a good modern cut.

E Salon is amazing - I used them during lockdown. You send photos and they consult with you - it's not just a box dye and it's very hard to get it wrong.

i feel your pain OP. I gave up hairdresser dying mine due to cost. I not box dye only - I truely believe the only reason hairdressers warn against them is to keep you going to them. I have fast growth like you, I box dye every 2 weeks, sometimes leave it to three but there is a lot of grey then.

Im a bit younger than you, as much as I’d love to not give a toss about it and grow it out I am 100% not ready to look 20+ years older because of my hair colour. 2 boxes of L’Oréal for £14 is worth it to stop me feeling self conscious

The number of women I know who used a box during Covid and couldn't believe the quality.
They haven't reverted.

The L'Oréal Excellence and Preference range are so good as are several others.

Well worth trying out.

Go lighter and it won't be as noticeable.

I think it's just a change of mindset that's needed to what, is really, just different colour hair.

Grey hair is no better of worse than blonde or brunette, it's just different.

Grey hair certainly signifies the passage of time, I don't see anything wrong with that though. We're all getting older, and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. It doesn't mean you've given up, or don't care.

It just means that you're getting older. Grey hair can look beautiful as much as any colour, it just needs care.

Do you have a college salon near you @Whowahway123 ? I'm early 40s and have decided to embrace the grey after dyeing my hair since my teens (previously bright colours and then later, my natural dark ash brown to cover the grey). I hate having my hair done so resent paying a lot for it, I went to my local college salon and had a drastic cut, highlights and a toner to blend the roots, £25! The students are supervised by a qualified stylist and they did a great job on mine. Worth looking into whether you decide to have it blended to grow the grey out or carry on dyeing.

And I don't think grey hair is automatically ageing. It's just not.

Growing it out if you've previously coloured it is a pain, and salt & pepper is difficult due to differing textures (but not impossible).

There's nothing inherently ageing about grey hair though. Why would there be?

I was in a similar situation- I'm 44, being going grey since early 20's, have always had it dyed blond to "hide the greys". All of a sudden everything got so much expensive and i couldn't justify spending so much money on my hair. Had a chat with my brilliant hairdresser ( who hated bleaching my hair and was always trying to convince me to let it grow out) and I decided to get it cut from bra back strap length to shoulder length with a grey tint ( by this point my roots were an amazing length haha) -I loved it! I went back a few months later and had it cut into a Bob with another tint. Made such a difference- felt so much healthier and easier to style and wash.
A few months on it's grown a bit and the tint has worn off completely ( for some reason tint only lasts a couple
Of washes for me) the blond is almost grown out. I've had lots of compliments about the colour - not going to lie it's taking me a while to get used to it after being blond for so long but im going to keep at it as im curious to see how it will finally look! Embrace it!

I've been going grey since I was 17 and boxed dyed my hair various shades (including a wonderful purple) but mostly a sensible brown my entire adult life, that is until January this year. Enough is enough 😂 I'm wearing it up most of the time and the grey coming through looks beautiful, a mixture of pure white and grey and its about 4cm long and I'm having the old dyed longer length cut off in two weeks and I simply can't wait!! Don't want to look like Joan Collins (no offense Joan 😂) Embrace it OP, loads of women, both younger and older, rock grey hair... why wouldn't you? ☺️

I use root touch up every month and it’s fine. I would ditch the hairdresser!

You could ask your hairdresser if they'll sell you the colour they do your roots with or give you the details so you can buy it yourself?

I'm not the OP, but have very similar issues. Your suggestion sounds so tempting, ChaosWithEd!

Interested in the Swedish Blond colour.

https://www.biggreensmile.com/products/surya-brasil-henna-cream-swedish-blonde/sbhencreamswblond.aspx?productid=sbhencreamswblond

It doesn't take long for the pesky grey hairs to reappear. Often just a couple of weeks in my case.
You best bets are WOW root cover up powder (just google) or the Clairol root touch up box set. Will try and post a pic of what the box looks like.

Yes. Your hairdresser is being ridiculous.
I found the root touch ups were all bad for hair similar color to you. I took the advice to buy lighter and I use box dye as a root touch up only and it is working well between soooo Trent’s. I use L’Oréal preference 9n and it helps with blending.

I had one last all over colour matched to my roots (the brown bit not the grey) and then grew it out, the difference between the dyed hair and the natural part was quite subtle.

You need a new hairdresser!!!

I've been a bit skint and time poor on a couple of occasions and my hairdresser will do my roots and let me wash it off myself at home for a fraction of the price I usually pay for root smudge, foils, cut etc.

I usually get full head 2 X a year, with roots and a toner in between