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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious with school

209 replies

Margot78 · 10/05/2023 12:07

My child was very poorly this morning- sore throat, temperature and had been up most of last night. She had her SATs test due this morning but was zonked out so I explained to school that she was just too poorly to sit a test today. I was then bombarded with unpleasant calls from both her teacher and the headteacher demanding that I force her to come in. They implied that I didn’t care about her education and they said she would not be able to resit it and would get a zero. They just wouldn’t leave me alone. So I ended up dragging a sobbing child out of bed, forcing her to get dressed and get in the car. She took the test and then I picked her up. I know schools are under a lot of pressure but does that really excuse this kind of behaviour? Surely something is wrong with the system if this is acceptable, putting this amount of pressure on parents and children?

OP posts:
Skodacool · 10/05/2023 18:06

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 10/05/2023 12:15

Unforgivable behaviour but the school will be worried about the impact of her score on their results not about her future.

This is the real problem. A child who misses the test scores zero and it reflects on the school’s ranking. It’s a system that is completely wrong.

Soapboxqueen · 10/05/2023 18:13

Badgering absent pupils to be in used to happen a lot years ago but afaik the test can be taken later as long as the headteacher can be sure the affected pupil hasn't had a long chat about the test with pupils who have taken it.

I don't understand why they'd waste time phoning up OP unless they just thought she was running late but even then once confirmed illness that would be it.

Odd behaviour

Mojoj · 10/05/2023 18:17

I don't understand why you didn't tell her school where to go? When did school become the police exactly?

Srin · 10/05/2023 18:28

Either she wasn’t that ill or you are weirdly in awe of the head teacher.

LadyPenelope68 · 10/05/2023 18:30

Don’t blame the school, it was you who took her in. Your as much at fault.

Beekdet · 10/05/2023 18:31

If a child sits and exam and has extenuating circumstances for lower than expected performance, these can be taken into consideration and previous evidence can be used. If a child is absent, they cannot perform and do not get a qualification.

BlueAndGreen89 · 10/05/2023 18:32

If you, as your daughter’s parent, had decided that she was too ill for school, then you shouldn’t have taken her in. Not a chance would I have dragged my poorly child out of bed and forced them into school to do a test if I had decided they were too unwell. You should have told the teacher and headteacher that your decision was final. I say this as an ex-teacher, now a TA in a primary school.

Parker231 · 10/05/2023 18:37

cassgate · 10/05/2023 16:19

I am a year 6 TA. Trust me when I say that the head and teacher hate that they had to do this. The problem is that if a child doesn’t sit the paper on the same day as the rest of the class, the head has to apply for a timetable variation for that child. In the meantime they are not allowed contact with their class (easy to stop them mixing in school but we have no control over contact outside school). The paperwork involved and extra staffing required to allow children to sit tests in isolation is huge. Last year, we had 1 child who didn’t sit the test with the class because of illness. The situation above was explained and parent was given an option for them to sit it same day but on their own in the afternoon otherwise a timetable variation would kick in. This was a low ability child who was not likely to pass but we still had to go through the motions. Child came in the afternoon and sat the test in an office with myself and another TA observing. They sat all the other papers with the rest of the class.

It’s irrelevant if it’s more work for the school. If a child is ill they don’t come to school. It’s not the schools decision. My DT’s didn’t do SATS - still managed to get all A’s at GCSE and A level.

Parker231 · 10/05/2023 18:41

Soapboxqueen · 10/05/2023 16:02

SATs are used for targeting setting at GCSE.

Which is in turn used to identify which children should be targeted for booster groups etc in the run up to exams

So while not the most important thing to think about before taking SATs, it's incorrect to say it has no impact.

Schools (well good ones) do their own tests at the start of the new term - not everyone starting will have done SATS.

Skybluepinky · 10/05/2023 18:44

They retest at secondary schools.

Whatiswithallthisracket · 10/05/2023 18:47

I left a message on school answerphone saying she was sick.

Her form teacher rang saying angrily that this was important and she needed to come in. That they were all waiting for her to start. I said she was too sick. My daughter heard me talking to her and got stressed. Teacher asked me to see if I could get her ready and hung up.

Teacher rang back again to see if I’d managed to convince her. Told her child was distressed and still feeling hot with a sore throat. Teacher got extremely angry and said it was a shame I was going to let my child score a zero when she was good at reading. She hung up before I could respond.

Almost right away I get a call from the head demanding that I bring her in. This was followed up by another call checking she was on her way. She also demanded to speak to my daughter. She gave the strong impression she didn’t believe me. I felt quite tearful and shaky by this point tbh.

I'm shocked at this!
I've worked in schools for 9 years and, yes I've known Heads to speak to parents and see if their child would be able to come in for the test and go straight back home again and I've known parents insist their child come in to sit the test, despite teachers protests that the child is simply too unwell, but I have never known any member of staff to behave this way.
If a parent called to say their child was unwell, there would obviously be a bit of disappointment but it would never be shown to the parent and definitely not at that level. I would be complaining to the chair of governors, without a doubt. I'm usually firmly on the side of the school staff, but this is unacceptable.
I hope your daughter feels better soon.

MangoMask · 10/05/2023 18:54

10 years ago when my DD was doing her SAT’s, she became poorly a few days before. I’d already made my lack of interest and belief in the whole SAT’s nonsense obvious but was happy enough for her to sit them if she wanted to.

She was on antibiotics for a sore throat but I got 3 phone calls from the school the day before the tests asking me to make sure she was back. After talking to DD we decided she would go in and try for the morning, I would go in at lunchtime with the antibiotics and paracetamol and see how she was. If she was still feeling rubbish I’d bring her home and she’d miss the afternoon tests.

When I went in to the office, two teachers brought her to me and very clearly wouldn’t leave me alone with her in case I took her home. I was a bit unsettled by it so at home time I spoke to her form teacher.

Basically I was told she was the only one in her year that was likely to get three 6’s (which she did but in case anyone thinks I’m stealth boasting it all went downhill at secondary school 😂) and they were keen to have those results to help the school’s figures. I kind of understood their position but wasn’t thrilled about the hassling and the way it was done.

So i do have sympathy for the teachers and the school, they are unfairly judged on results but equally I feel for your DD and think nothing in life is worth dragging a crying child in for !!

FuckNuggets · 10/05/2023 19:00

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 10/05/2023 12:14

My dd did her gcse's under a bout of tonsillitis...
Your dd will be fine.

GCSEs are a lot different to SATs! Also a 16 year old is a lot more robust than a 10/11 year old!

Flufs · 10/05/2023 19:02

Secondary schools often give a wide birth to Sats results as they vary so much reliability wise. My DSs secondary did CATs which was quite accurate.

op keep her off tomorrow if ill. Your child’s health and welfare is more important then school statistics.

Favouritefruits · 10/05/2023 19:06

Missing a SATS test won’t do her any harm, it’ll mess up the schools statistics but who cares, you should of left her in bed. I’m not sure what you think would of happened, literally no interviews will ever ask her what SATS grade she got.

FuckNuggets · 10/05/2023 19:12

Soapboxqueen · 10/05/2023 16:02

SATs are used for targeting setting at GCSE.

Which is in turn used to identify which children should be targeted for booster groups etc in the run up to exams

So while not the most important thing to think about before taking SATs, it's incorrect to say it has no impact.

No, they're not! My dd got really low scores in her SATs, she's now sitting her GCSEs and is predicted to get 7/8 in all of them.

Soapboxqueen · 10/05/2023 19:32

FuckNuggets · 10/05/2023 19:12

No, they're not! My dd got really low scores in her SATs, she's now sitting her GCSEs and is predicted to get 7/8 in all of them.

How does your dd's performance negate what I said?

The school won't look at her performance at SATs and demand she sits her exams with one hand tied behind her back to make sure she underperforms.

However, if the data shows she should be doing better and currently she isn't, I'm sure you'd want them to do something about it.

pastapestoparmesan · 10/05/2023 19:34

My Y6 class have all been in so far thankfully, but there are so many nicer ways SATs sickness can be dealt with. They could have asked nicely that she came in just for the test, morning or afternoon, or applied for a timetable variation. No need for aggression.

Crustsamongus · 10/05/2023 19:36

TuesandThursNero · 10/05/2023 17:20

It wasn’t.

it was pairing two people who didn’t know one another. So not relevant

OK, I'll bite. Yes, it was pairing strangers, so on that basis we could assume that they would be more prepared to inflict harm than a mother to her child. However, you're failing to mention that the harm inflicted involved electrical shocks and fully 2/3 of participants continued to administer shocks after the victim had stopped responding/ potentially lethal shocks. It was a study into compliance with authority figures. The HT is an authority figure, and if anything I imagine that the fact that OP knows her would increase her likelihood of compliance. Long story short: I do think it was a relevant reference.

Parker231 · 10/05/2023 20:53

pastapestoparmesan · 10/05/2023 19:34

My Y6 class have all been in so far thankfully, but there are so many nicer ways SATs sickness can be dealt with. They could have asked nicely that she came in just for the test, morning or afternoon, or applied for a timetable variation. No need for aggression.

Someone could be on holiday, in hospital or off with an infectious illness - SATS would be the last thing I would think about. Wouldn’t matter if they weren’t done.

User2346 · 10/05/2023 21:02

Jesus, why on earth did you allow yourself to be bullied like this, your poor little girl and frankly shame on you for dragging her in.

I would be raising a complaint about the teachers and Heads conduct with the governors as this is unacceptable. My son is currently taking SATS and when he had enough today he was allowed to stop early no questions asked and lots of praise for doing so well as he is dyslexic and the paper was tough for him.

recyclemeagain · 10/05/2023 21:22

Flufs · 10/05/2023 19:02

Secondary schools often give a wide birth to Sats results as they vary so much reliability wise. My DSs secondary did CATs which was quite accurate.

op keep her off tomorrow if ill. Your child’s health and welfare is more important then school statistics.

Wide berth. They give a wide berth.
Wide birth sounds much more dramatic 😳

CabernetSauvignon · 10/05/2023 21:53

cassgate · 10/05/2023 16:19

I am a year 6 TA. Trust me when I say that the head and teacher hate that they had to do this. The problem is that if a child doesn’t sit the paper on the same day as the rest of the class, the head has to apply for a timetable variation for that child. In the meantime they are not allowed contact with their class (easy to stop them mixing in school but we have no control over contact outside school). The paperwork involved and extra staffing required to allow children to sit tests in isolation is huge. Last year, we had 1 child who didn’t sit the test with the class because of illness. The situation above was explained and parent was given an option for them to sit it same day but on their own in the afternoon otherwise a timetable variation would kick in. This was a low ability child who was not likely to pass but we still had to go through the motions. Child came in the afternoon and sat the test in an office with myself and another TA observing. They sat all the other papers with the rest of the class.

Can't you just decide that the child won't take the test at all? It's not as if it benefits them.

EllandRd · 11/05/2023 00:04

You should of not of took her in, never ever let the bloody school intimidate you like that again. My son never done any SATS, the senior school assessed him themselves, then moved him into the top set based on their evaluations. The school is bang out of order.

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 06:05

Crustsamongus · 10/05/2023 19:36

OK, I'll bite. Yes, it was pairing strangers, so on that basis we could assume that they would be more prepared to inflict harm than a mother to her child. However, you're failing to mention that the harm inflicted involved electrical shocks and fully 2/3 of participants continued to administer shocks after the victim had stopped responding/ potentially lethal shocks. It was a study into compliance with authority figures. The HT is an authority figure, and if anything I imagine that the fact that OP knows her would increase her likelihood of compliance. Long story short: I do think it was a relevant reference.

Given I, and I suspect most other parents too, would die for their children… I’d suck up electrical shocks without blinking for them 😂