To be furious with school

[Margot78]

My child was very poorly this morning- sore throat, temperature and had been up most of last night. She had her SATs test due this morning but was zonked out so I explained to school that she was just too poorly to sit a test today. I was then bombarded with unpleasant calls from both her teacher and the headteacher demanding that I force her to come in. They implied that I didn’t care about her education and they said she would not be able to resit it and would get a zero. They just wouldn’t leave me alone. So I ended up dragging a sobbing child out of bed, forcing her to get dressed and get in the car. She took the test and then I picked her up. I know schools are under a lot of pressure but does that really excuse this kind of behaviour? Surely something is wrong with the system if this is acceptable, putting this amount of pressure on parents and children?

You could always write to the governors.

It’s really unfair to blame the OP for this when she was under immense pressure from authority figures in the school.

I understand about being on the spot etc, and not having much time to think, but if the child was ill enough to miss school on an important week in the first place, surely it's a no-brainer - they are simply not well enough, and that's that.

I only ever keep her off if she has been sick or has a temperature. There’s been a few bugs going around this year but last year she won an attendance award. It’s just how it goes but I am always sensible and try to make the best judgment. I work in a job with a zero hours contract so if I don’t work I get nothing so there’s no reason for me to keep her off just to make some kind of point. I want her to do her sats just ideally not if she is feeling poorly. I certainly didn’t ask for this dilemma!

Fuck that - tell the school where to go - it's little or no bearing on your daughter's education. i'd be seriously pissed with the school

I would have thought there was no point taking the test as it will not be representative of her actual abilities if she was really ill. Why couldn't she take it the next day if she didn't speak to the children who had taken the test already?

Just goes to show how sats is of no benefit to the children but it's all for the schools reputation. Normally at the mere hint of a sniffle at school,you're marched down to the office to be collected to go home.

This happened yesterday. One of my daughter's friends was vomiting yesterday morning and was told to still come in(year 6). Normally you're told to stay home for 48 hours after you last vomited.

If it was purely for the child's benefit,they would have been told to stay home.

On what grounds? HT and teachers are very pressured and have a lot on their plate.

That aside, they were unacceptable doing that and I would be really upset. I would maybe even speak to the governors if I was that upset and angered by it.

Hope your DD feels better.

our school gives out a checklist of health conditions that require exclusion. A fever, not just elevated temp, requires the child to stay home. It’s that simple. (Not the uk, list comes from health department and is quite useful)

dd has missed a critical test that was used for placement. It couldn’t be made up. Her school used other data to place her which was for the best because she belonged in the highest class and I have no doubt she would have failed the test that day as she was so ill.

I can’t understand what happened.

you called her in sick and left an answer phone message presumably?

Did they call you back? How many times did they call you?

When they said “can’t you bring her in” and you replied “no she is sick” what did they say back?

If I were you I would write it all down while it’s fresh in your mind and then email a complaint because bullying you into sending an unwell child to school is awful and completely against the school’s own absence policy, surely??

Just to add my support OP. You sound like you were put in a horrible position, which made you doubt your own judgement. That wasn't fair of the school.

In life, we don't blame those being bullied- instead we blame the bullies. That's what the school did to you, they bullied you into submission and it made you question yourself.

I hope your daughter is beginning to feel better. SATS or no SATS, what are we teaching our children? That even if you are feeling shit, those in authority expect you to go in (and not rest and recover) and be a cog in the bigger wheel? No thanks.

My work wouldn't want me in if I was poorly. Schools need to extend the same dignity to our children.

The only place I would have taken my daughter is the dr. The school overstepped and do not get to order you to force your child to school. You are her advocate and let yourself be bullied. I would make a complaint and never allow this to happen again. The school only did this for their own interests and results not for the well being of your daughter. You knew how unwell she was and they did not. Do they not care that she may have spread her illness to other children? No apparently not because they only care about results.

@Margot78 I do wonder how many other parents also called in to say their child wasn't coming in today. If school had, say, 5 parents call in, then it would massively affect their numbers. It puts them in a very difficult position and might be very hard for them to work out which were truly sick.

Seems very shortsighted of the school, given that this means she has probably spread her bugs to the other pupils.

No one learned anything from covid then

I left a message on school answerphone saying she was sick.

Her form teacher rang saying angrily that this was important and she needed to come in. That they were all waiting for her to start. I said she was too sick. My daughter heard me talking to her and got stressed. Teacher asked me to see if I could get her ready and hung up.

Teacher rang back again to see if I’d managed to convince her. Told her child was distressed and still feeling hot with a sore throat. Teacher got extremely angry and said it was a shame I was going to let my child score a zero when she was good at reading. She hung up before I could respond.

Almost right away I get a call from the head demanding that I bring her in. This was followed up by another call checking she was on her way. She also demanded to speak to my daughter. She gave the strong impression she didn’t believe me. I felt quite tearful and shaky by this point tbh.

Fuck that. I'd be even less inclined to send my kid in after being 'told off.' Then I'd make a complaint.

My dd did her gcse's under a bout of tonsillitis...Your dd will be fine.
GCSEs are not the same as SaTs which are completely unnecessary tests and will have absolutely no impact on her education.
OP you should not have taken her into school.

I’m not a parent and SATS weren’t a thing when I was at school, but my understanding is they’re mainly use to see if a school is meeting it’s targets, so it benefits the school more than the child. GCSEs are a different kettle of fish. The grades your child receives is more important to your child than SATS. Fair play to your daughter though….tonsillitis is horrible!

Sounds like you need to work on your assertiveness skills, OP.

All that was needed in this situation was a polite but firm "Yes, I know it's an important week and it's very unfortunate that she can't do the test, but I'm afraid she really isn't well enough so I won't be bringing her in."

Over and over like a broken record if needs be. You can absolutely complain to the governors if you wish - it sounds like the school was unnecessarily belligerent. However, you need to reflect on why you allowed yourself to be bullied into something that was contrary to what you considered to be the best interests of your child.

@Margot78 goodness that sounds absolutely awful. Had it been gcse or a level exam I'd maybe understand. I appreciate SATs scores are used for league tables and therefore only benefit the school- but I can't imagine an ill child performing too well anyway.

Just for reference my DS didn't do SATs, secondary school has zero issue with it, continuous assessments throughout the school year have given a far better indication with regards to targets etc for all the pupils.

And if the head teacher demanded to speak to your daughter, then again, the correct response is a polite but firm "no, sorry, she is unwell and she cannot come to the phone right now."

I would definitely type that up - but remove the emotive language. When you say ‘got really angry’ I would instead say what she did ie raised her voice

be really cold and matter of fact about it and email a complaint to the head and the chair of governors.

And if she is sick tomorrow keep her home - no test is worth this!

The sats do matter for your child, unfortunately the results and the targets they lead to will be a feature of all her progress and reports throughout secondary school.
In the scheme of things they don't matter at all nor do arbitrary targets and progress reports based on them. Also sensible secondary schools do their own progress tests rather than rely on a test when the child.is 10 years old.

The secondary school my grandchildren go to doesn't even do that, they do their own tests at the beginning of year 7. The Yr 6 tests are to judge the school that's why the Head is so keen to get results.

BTW I was a teacher and so is my daughter. She was not the slightest bit concerned about her children's SATs results. I would have kept the child at home but I understand why you gave in to the bullying from school.