To be furious with school

[Margot78]

My child was very poorly this morning- sore throat, temperature and had been up most of last night. She had her SATs test due this morning but was zonked out so I explained to school that she was just too poorly to sit a test today. I was then bombarded with unpleasant calls from both her teacher and the headteacher demanding that I force her to come in. They implied that I didn’t care about her education and they said she would not be able to resit it and would get a zero. They just wouldn’t leave me alone. So I ended up dragging a sobbing child out of bed, forcing her to get dressed and get in the car. She took the test and then I picked her up. I know schools are under a lot of pressure but does that really excuse this kind of behaviour? Surely something is wrong with the system if this is acceptable, putting this amount of pressure on parents and children?

I don’t think the OP is “worse” - the pressure came from the school. Yes, OP didn’t respond as she should’ve, but many of us don’t always react calmly and robustly to unexpected intimidating behaviour like that - it throws you off guard, that’s the intention.

Tiny drops in pass rates do not

I think you might find that every primary school would pressure you to bring your child in for the sats test unless they are very seriously ill. So not just your school.
The sats do matter for your child, unfortunately the results and the targets they lead to will be a feature of all her progress and reports throughout secondary school. I wish people would stop saying sats don’t matter, this is not really accurate.
I wonder whether one factor the school is trying to avoid is children not attending due to anxiety or fuss ( rather than genuine illness) and this perhaps then influencing other children/parents to not attend.
Obviously if a child is ill then this is difficult for child and parents, but the school has to try and get all children attending if possible and doesn’t want any child to miss the test because of say waking up with a sore throat which then feels much better an hour later, for example.

Those who are saying its the OP's fault for taking her in have obviously never been on the other end of this type of bullying from a school.

I have and despite dh being a teacher it makes you totally mistrust your own judgment and you are terrified to go against them.

have significant consequences for the school.
And even if they did. A poorly 11 year old should not have to worry about this.
The pressure that such young children are out under for these meaningless tests is unfair and to badger the parent of an ill child into dragging her into school, just so that their results don't dip, is really not on.

I agree that the system is undesirable but individual schools and teachers can do nothing about it.
At the end of the day, the few Sats days are important days and the schools need everyone to make it a priority to attend.

Bit the results are not based on the % who took the tests, they're based on the age cohort - including children who only joined the school in Y6, as refugees with no English.

THAT'S why most schools are so desperate to get all the children likely to achieve the pass mark in.

What is your daughters absence rate like?

I've been bullied by a school and I'm not normally one to be walked over but they make you feel so crap. You were in the right to keep her off initially. Do it again tomorrow if necessary. If they ring you more than once tell them you will be making a formal complaint about being harassed if they call again.

GCSE,s are slightly different ,t houh my son starts his next whilst stilll. recovering from being critically ill in February ,I being very laid back about it ,what will be will be ,but SATS mean nothing .

@Margot78 are you furious with the school, or the system?

I think other schools really really really want children in for SATS too. I'm not sure they can resit.

Speak to the school about the rest of the SATS - dates and what happens if she's not well enough. Schools often prepare year 6 parents with this info in advance

This is exactly what you need to do.
Tomorrow she stays home. You ring in to notify her absence and let the receptionist know or say it on the voicemail that she will not be coming in. Then ignore the calls.
Then write to the governors expressing your concern.

You should have refused.

Sats are meaningless

They shouldn't have hassled you, but you shouldn't have taken her in!

YABVU to drag her out her bed. I would never allow anyone, school included, to dictate what i do and dont do with my child.

Personally i would have been outraged at the school and told them to never question my decision as a parent again.

Bombarded? How many phone calls OP?

Four

Exactly. People need to stop piling on to the OP. I'm generally very proactive and will very much fight my corner and argue my case in the vast majority of situations. But when I've unexpectedly found myself on the spot and with a very short time frame in which to act, I've occasionally ended up making decisions that I've later very much regretted.

I can quite imagine that having been up all night and faced with a demanding phone call with little time to think, I could potentially have ended up doing as OP did.

In quick succession

I would absolutely contact the governors, OP. Four bullying phone calls in quick succession is appalling. Especially when they show such disregard for the welfare of a sick child.

The school didn't force the child in. You did.

Thank you I appreciate your understanding. That’s just how it was. I don’t understand why my child’s absence rate or how much I like the school has any bearing on whether their approach was appropriate.

Write to the governors if you want to. But don’t keep your daughter off school tomorrow unless she really is too unwell to go in. That would be giving her a lasting problem for the sake of your outrage at the school system.

Schools are fucking insane these days.

I honestly don't understand why you took her in, OP.

I'm assuming that, if she was borderline, you'd have sent her in anyway, given that it was an important week?

So she must have been really poorly. There is no way on earth that I'd have dragged a really unwell child into school merely on the say-so of someone who hadn't even seen what condition she was in. I would have explained very firmly that she wasn't well enough.

By taking her in, you'll have confirmed their suspicion that she wasn't sick enough to be off school anyway.