To wonder who decided that customers want small talk at the till in a shop?

[YouWonJayne]

Seriously I want to know their names. Which suits sat in a boardroom and said “Do you know what customers really want? When they’re stressed and frazzled trying the find a plain black shirt and black skirt for a 9 year old’s school play, which BTW are nigh-on impossible to find, when they get to the till they want the assistant to ask what they’re up to this morning and if they’re busy? That will keep customers happy!”

The poor girl on the checkout was trying her best not to look bored as she asked the woman in front of me “Have you got much planned this morning? Do you have a busy day” especially when the woman have details of all the wedding outfits she needed to buy for her grandchildren.

I hope the assistant was relieved when I just gave a “No” when she asked me the same. I really couldn’t be arsed.

I noticed this everywhere now. Is it just me who doesn’t actually want small talk, who just wants to buy my stuff and get on with me day without being a conversationalist extraordinaire? Don’t get me started on upselling! Or the people in Lush who pounce when you’re through the door. It’s completely insufferable.

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

I feel like it needs a serious platform, a campaign called Leave Shoppers Alone (half joking) 😂

But it absolutely does affect me. Its about the basic human condition to make social connection. Why are people expecting strangers to 'read the signs' that they don't won't to speak? Just appreciate that someone has actually bothered to talk to you, suck it up and make an effort.

Because those signs will give you fair warning that you may be sorely disappointed if you try to engage them in a conversation that only you desire. You could also suck it up and make an effort not to bother people who obviously don’t want to talk to a stranger. Why should we appreciate that someone wants to talk to us when we want to be left alone nor is there an obligation to make an effort to make you happy.

@Powersout

But it absolutely does affect me. Its about the basic human condition to make social connection. Why are people expecting strangers to 'read the signs' that they don't won't to speak? Just appreciate that someone has actually bothered to talk to you, suck it up and make an effort.

Why does your need to talk to me trump my need not to talk to you? Why are your feelings/needs more important than mine?

I’m torn on this. I don’t like intrusive questions or boring chat. Just friendly polite service is great.

However, I honestly can’t remember the last time anyone chatted too much at checkout. It just doesn’t happen to me. I don’t have RBF and I am told I am approachable. So, somehow I’m giving off the right vibe (for me)

I hate it.

I also feel for the poor female staff who then have to deal with getting hit on and harassed by men who don't understand it's just part of their job and they're not coming on to them.

What a bizarre assumption that anyone who isn’t interested in chewing the fat with a random person while they bag up their shopping must be miserable?

Im a very friendly chatty funny person with my own social circle - no one would ever call me miserable. I just like my own peace and quiet and being in my own thoughts when I’m not in a social situation.

Yep. I’d say it’s a basic human trait to read situations and act accordingly. It’s pretty obvious when someone isn’t keen on making irrelevant small talk with a stranger so unsure why anyone should ‘suck it up’ or appreciate the intrusion.

There's one assistant in a, let's say, low budget shop who no matter what I buy (eg a phone charger and a loaf of bread), will say 'treating yourself today then are you?'or 'so what are you treating yourself to today then?' what the hell are you meant to say to that 😂 same shop, different person, 'just getting a few bits of shopping then?' no shit Sherlock....

If only it was just people who have no interest in discussing the weather with Doris on the till, but it's not. We have the people who won't answer the door, can't cope with people calling unless they give advance notice, have an attack of the vapours if a complete stranger speaks to them in the street, can't let anyone into their home if there is the slightest bit of mess etc. I have never in real life encountered this sort of thing, only on MN, and yes I do believe a lot of posters are socially inept. The way they pile on when someone is asking for advice with suggestions that no-one I've ever known would do or say, they make no effort to get along with colleagues because they don't like them, and on many occasions are downright rude and ill-mannered. I imagine they are not popular in real life, because of how they behave, so they come onto MN where they can feel important and superior, while remaining anonymous.

It probably takes 5 seconds or less to say "fine thanks, how are you" and then get on with packing your groceries. I've never known any store assistant force conversation beyond that. If you don't want to talk, use the automated checkout.

I work in a shop as a cashier and we have regular customers who it's nice to chat to if it's not too busy. As PPs mentioned you have to judge the situation.
There's one older lady who comes in several times a week - always buys something and then returns it a few days later saying it was too big / didn't go with her outfit. She's always very chatty and I'm sure she just buys and returns to have a reason to talk to the staff.
I find it really rude when a customer either continues a conversation on the phone or whoever she's come into the shop with, without making any eye contact or verbal communication. We're people not robots - altho some of the posters here would like us to be efficient mute robots!
I scored poorly in a mystery shop as I said hello, was polite efficient, packed beautifully but lost marks as I didn't give warm enough greeting/passing pleasantries!

God get a grip, it's just some poor retail person saying hello.

Agree! What a depressing thread

God get a grip, it's just some poor retail person saying hello.

That's not what my post was referring to.

I find it very sad that a passing "Hello, how are you" and maybe a chat about the weather or suchlike has become such a chore to some people.

Blimey.
I mean it's not like someone wanting to engage with you when you don't want to, or someone not validating your existence as a customer enough while buying a pint of milk, is a a traumatic and life changing event is it?

Some people (on both sides of this argument) just seem desperate to be aggrieved by something and customer service seems to be the prime target right now for everyone taking their frustrations out.

I am on board with this. I worked in a supermarket as a student and there were so many people who coming in was the big trip out of the house daily.

I loved seeing them, as they were friendly and chatty, and we genuinely worried if someone was missing a few days. So much so a couple of us called round to a regular who went missing for 4 days. She was in hospital, but thankfully, her neighbour found her on their steps and had helped her.

I would also see a case for a stfu badge though!!!! Everywhere!!

Speak, don't speak, use a self checkout - nobody cares luv. Get over yourself hun, it's not all about you all the time. 😭

I don’t open the door unless I’m expecting anyone and I don’t speak to random strangers in the street - yet I’m one of the most friendly chatty and open people you’ll ever meet in a social settling. It’s nothing to do with being socially inept which is as far removed from the truth with me, it’s about being selective with our own time and space.

And maybe you don’t know anyone like this outside if MN but I certainly do. It covers a lot of my wide circle of friends. I’ve got others who will strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone they meet - different personalities. Extroverts vs introverts - no right or wrong just human differences.

Maybe the fact I’m London born and bred is a factor as it’s often said we’re far less likely to communicate with the general public than people who grew up in less heavily populated areas? Who knows but I’m happy to carry on as I am and letting others do them - just leave me in peace

I find it very sad that a passing "Hello, how are you" and maybe a chat about the weather or suchlike has become such a chore to some people.

A passing "hello" is very different from being expected to engage in full-blown conversation when you're just trying to buy some bread and milk, or look for some socks.

Personally I it more sad that so many people can't understand that not everyone is like them 🤷‍♀️

Well I've rarely encountered anyone in customer service wanting to engage in full-blown conversation! Where do you live, do these people have one customer a day that they can spend so much time chatting? And, I stand by my statement, if we have come to the time where people are too stressed by life to be friendly and make a couple of comments, then I fear for the future. I'm not in the UK, and have rarely, if ever, encountered the attitude on here to talking to others. Obviously there are some who just grunt, or don't reply at all, but most people seem happy to respond.

So basically what you're saying is a random stranger isn't worth 20 seconds of your time. Which is fine, but it does make for a very sad society if the majority of people were like you. Hopefully you won't ever be in a situation where you might need some help but everyone is "too busy" or just can't be bothered. It's lovely to get a hello and genuine smile from anyone, sad for you that you'd rather miss out on this, but each to their own

I love the chat

I don't mind the chat

I do mind, very much, the "what's your email address?" I don't want my receipt emailing....

And not only not understand people are different, feel it’s ok to be rude and insulting to people who aren’t like them.

I have no problem with those who love having chats with everyone they meet - not sure why some feel the need to make digs about those of us that don’t.

I too find 'upselling' bloody annoying, but having previously been in a job where I was forced into this situation I can empathise.