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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder who decided that customers want small talk at the till in a shop?

319 replies

YouWonJayne · 09/05/2023 12:31

Seriously I want to know their names. Which suits sat in a boardroom and said “Do you know what customers really want? When they’re stressed and frazzled trying the find a plain black shirt and black skirt for a 9 year old’s school play, which BTW are nigh-on impossible to find, when they get to the till they want the assistant to ask what they’re up to this morning and if they’re busy? That will keep customers happy!”

The poor girl on the checkout was trying her best not to look bored as she asked the woman in front of me “Have you got much planned this morning? Do you have a busy day” especially when the woman have details of all the wedding outfits she needed to buy for her grandchildren.

I hope the assistant was relieved when I just gave a “No” when she asked me the same. I really couldn’t be arsed.

I noticed this everywhere now. Is it just me who doesn’t actually want small talk, who just wants to buy my stuff and get on with me day without being a conversationalist extraordinaire? Don’t get me started on upselling! Or the people in Lush who pounce when you’re through the door. It’s completely insufferable.

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

I feel like it needs a serious platform, a campaign called Leave Shoppers Alone (half joking) 😂

OP posts:
MissedItByThisMuch · 09/05/2023 13:01

I don’t have an issue with genuine natural chat, but hate the “Do you have a busy day planned? What are you up to this afternoon?” shit. Look you don’t really want to know, I don’t really want to tell you, can we just get on with you selling me the groceries??

dworky · 09/05/2023 13:04

I'd be content with eye-contact.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 09/05/2023 13:04

Shops can't win though - some people loathe self service and value a chat, others love ss and hate interracting. Should have chat and no chat lanes!

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 09/05/2023 13:05

If you use a shop regularly look out for a familiar staff member
. Gives way to actually talking about proper things not the weather or your day..

LaMaG · 09/05/2023 13:05

tuvamoodyson · 09/05/2023 12:48

I’d rather small talk than being served in complete silence. I like it.

Me too! I enjoy it. As long as its not too forced. Im guilty of initiating it too, I might ask a sad looking assistant if they have a long shift ahead or how their morning is going. I find most people respond really well. Sometimes they have a little moan about their job. Never when there is a queue though, that's unfair IMO

ConstanceReid · 09/05/2023 13:06

I don’t mind it if it’s natural, but if it’s clearly forced, I hate it. I had a nice chat with the woman on the till in M&S the other day while we both moaned about the customer before me who chatted on her phone throughout the whole process. So. Bloody. Rude.

Also detest upselling. Robert Dyas and WH Smith are the worst.

MerylSqueak · 09/05/2023 13:09

I'm happy to chat but why, oh why the music? It seems to be everywhere except John Lewis. DD and I went in the other day and it was bliss. Who decided we wanted our noise pollution levels upped by tinny, little bit too quiet to be enjoyable, little too loud to be ignorable tunes? I find it ups my stress levels so much.

minkymini · 09/05/2023 13:10

I used to work for a well known chain store. We were encouraged to chat to customers. I found men didn't want it , they wanted in and out . When it was busy no one wanted it and I didn't instigate it . I only really chatted to our regulars and other customers if they instigated it .

Those greeters on the door ? They were to deter shoplifters . There theory was if they they were acknowledged it then sent a message they had been noticed

I found people just wanted eye contact , a greeting and a smile and a smooth quick transaction. When I suggested this I was threatened with a written warning if didn't make every moment special 😆

LuvSmallDogs · 09/05/2023 13:10

It can be a bit cringey for the worker, but as the training points out, it may be the only social interaction for some people.

I'd try and ask about people's dog or cat when they bought pet food, or say "oh my son would like that, he loves that show" about a toy they'd bought and so on. If not, there's always whatever's on the front of the local newspaper.

user4567890754 · 09/05/2023 13:11

I hate it. It’s intrusive, a stranger asking you these things. I had a person in the bank ask me - “Is it your day off today?” I had just been made redundant.

Ask about the weather or something like that. Keep it British, folks! Seriously though. Make a non personal comment to start. If the person wants to chat they will give you signs and offer you a lead into further conversation.

ItsCalledAConversation · 09/05/2023 13:12

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 09/05/2023 12:50

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

DD works for a very well known, chain shoe store (old firm). Staff do get bollocked by the manager if they've not approached someone within 10 seconds of the customer stepping into the shop. And the upselling of shoe care at the till!😳 They have to sell 2% shoecare of overall shoe sales during the shift; if they don't, that's another bollocking.

I agree OP. I hate all the small talk.

Is this Jones the Bootmaker? I used to buy so many shoes in there, not any more, you get jumped on before you’ve had any chance to browse and if you find anything at all they either don’t have your size or you get up sold so badly you leave!

VoluptuaSneezelips · 09/05/2023 13:16

I like the small talk but only when it comes about naturally. Over the years I have come to know some of the staff in local shops quite well and chat to them outside of work when we bump into each other.

It's really horrible feeling when it's forced though, the fakeness of it all makes the conversation so awkward. I feel awful for the till operators when you can obviously see they don't want to be having the conversation and tell them it's ok they don't have to small talk..

DrHousecuredme · 09/05/2023 13:16

I quite like chit chat generally. I'm thinking there could be a sticker or badge equivalent to those you put on your front door (no cold calling, no sales etc) it could say
No I don't own a loyalty card
No I don't want one
No I don't want to chat
Thank you for serving me though, I do appreciate it.

That would do it.

Riapia · 09/05/2023 13:21

All vocal interaction in public should be made an offence.
Is there really any need to say good morning to anyone in public.
Any supermarket cashier attempting to engage me in conversation gets the stock MN reply, ODFOD.

user1497207191 · 09/05/2023 13:22

I certainly think they've lost any sense of taking notice of the "markers" as to whether a customer wants to chat or not. Some go on and on when it's blatantly obvious the customer doesn't want small talk. A good shop worker (or any customer/client facing role really) will "read the signs" as to whether the customer wants to chat, wants help, etc., and acts accordingly. It's not rocket science.

As for meeting targets, etc., they can still say what they have to say or try to up-sell etc., without pestering you, and again, they can use the customer's body language to decide which customers they are going to try to up-sell to. I go in WHS quite a lot which is one of the worst "upselling" places where they try to persuade you to buy a bar of chocolate etc every time, but they happily accept a quick shake of the head or a "no thanks" - but at other chains, they don't take the hint and go on and on with telling you what a bargain it is, etc.

We went to car dealerships over the weekend and it's just the same. Some salesmen are an absolute pain in the arse trying to be over-friendly, following you around like a demented puppy dog etc., but others (usually older) read the signs and after a quick "hello" left us alone to view in peace. I'm far more likely to buy the car from the latter rather than a youngster with verbal diarrhoea!

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/05/2023 13:27

I stopped going to the Paperchase near my work because it was impossible to just pop in quickly for something. The upselling took longer than choosing a card.

Precipice · 09/05/2023 13:28

Probably it comes from the days when you'd be seeing the same worker/shopkeeper every time you went, so you'd develop more of a relationship and in any case, you'd be part of the same community. Then upscaled to broader industry on the same idea of developing a relationship with the customer, so the customer would have a positive association with you and return to you over your competitors.

It still works fine in a shop when you're a regular and you see the same person at the till regularly. I chat a little when there's nobody waiting to the sellers at the Polish shop I go to. I'll agree that it doesn't work in the 'How are you today?' sense as they scan your food shop in Lidl/Waitrose.

Hocuspocus99 · 09/05/2023 13:30

Well I’ve been served served by a number of sour faced staff . Who don’t acknowledge you and by that I mean nothing at all ! So when I’m faced with a person who doesn’t obviously wants to be there, the attraction of shopping there becomes less attractive ! I find it just rude .

daffodilandtulip · 09/05/2023 13:31

@RonObvious get that business set up! Mine's "Shut Up".

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 09/05/2023 13:34

Upselling and conversation are two different issues

Upselling can be awkward for both sides but is probably company policy, and sometimes can actually prompt something you need. But, ye, probably awkward for everyone.

Chatting - you might hate it because you're busy but the next person in line isn't and appreciates the chat. Which is why you'll never get a concensus on that.

And for those saying "it's so awkward when the person isn't sure", how do you think they learn the art of small talk? Hint: it's by going through those awkward conversations until they get there

dutysuite · 09/05/2023 13:41

I really don’t mind it, I know they are expected to do it and actually I have my favourite cashiers at my local supermarket so it’s nice to say hello and asks them how they are.

Original poster
YouWonJayne · 09/05/2023 13:43

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 09/05/2023 12:50

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

DD works for a very well known, chain shoe store (old firm). Staff do get bollocked by the manager if they've not approached someone within 10 seconds of the customer stepping into the shop. And the upselling of shoe care at the till!😳 They have to sell 2% shoecare of overall shoe sales during the shift; if they don't, that's another bollocking.

I agree OP. I hate all the small talk.

It’s just awful, neither staff nor customers want upselling - I can’t believe it works but it must if it’s continuously pushed

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 09/05/2023 13:45

This is when I always use the self service… I loathe small talk and scripted small fall is even worse

DancedByTheLightOfTheMoon · 09/05/2023 13:46

Well hopefully very soon it will be all online, so one less problem for staff and customers.

TeaIsRisen · 09/05/2023 13:49

I hate it.

I was in Superdrug the other week, only two cashiers (no self checkouts), at least 20 people in the queue, and the cashiers were having lengthy conversations and aggressively upselling to every person, meaning the queue was at least 20 minutes longer than it needed to be. Lots of people were discarding their baskets and walking out.