To wonder who decided that customers want small talk at the till in a shop?

[YouWonJayne]

Seriously I want to know their names. Which suits sat in a boardroom and said “Do you know what customers really want? When they’re stressed and frazzled trying the find a plain black shirt and black skirt for a 9 year old’s school play, which BTW are nigh-on impossible to find, when they get to the till they want the assistant to ask what they’re up to this morning and if they’re busy? That will keep customers happy!”

The poor girl on the checkout was trying her best not to look bored as she asked the woman in front of me “Have you got much planned this morning? Do you have a busy day” especially when the woman have details of all the wedding outfits she needed to buy for her grandchildren.

I hope the assistant was relieved when I just gave a “No” when she asked me the same. I really couldn’t be arsed.

I noticed this everywhere now. Is it just me who doesn’t actually want small talk, who just wants to buy my stuff and get on with me day without being a conversationalist extraordinaire? Don’t get me started on upselling! Or the people in Lush who pounce when you’re through the door. It’s completely insufferable.

The worst part is these poor people (probably on minimum wage) get bollocked if they don’t behave this way. I can’t imagine any of them want to behave this way.

I feel like it needs a serious platform, a campaign called Leave Shoppers Alone (half joking) 😂

This has probably already been suggested but I truly think there should be specific lanes with a sign “Slower lane for customers happy to chat” or something like that.

I was in a desperate rush in the supermarket the other day. The self checkout line was a mile long as only half were working so I queued at a till. Two ladies in front of me and the one at the front spent ages telling the cashier about an issue with mice in her house. The queue was getting longer and longer with other customers looking pissed off as they literally chatted away (shopping was scanned and paid for) about different poisons, pest control. Insane.

Yes because the whole culture is like that. Nice way to stereotype.

For many, it depends on time, place, and/or mood. Some people don’t have time to just stand around and chit chat or have people hold up a line so they can chit chat while others are forced to wait. It can also be mood. Some are not in the mood to chat and simply want to get in and out. Some are in the mood and do a bit of chat. A lot of this would be combated if customers read the environment and staff read the customers and took into account there is a time and place to start and/or engage in chat.

Busy shops, no. Quiet shops, yes.

A customer who looks in a hurry or isn’t up for small talk, no.

A customer who is relaxed and makes comments about something, yes.

I also think telling people that if they don’t like small talk they should just order online is ridiculous especially if the shop is very close by and they should then wait for the items to be delivered when staff could just keep it to good morning/afternoon, and leave it at that if the customer doesn’t want to engage.

Only on MN can people who have great social lives and a brilliant circle of friends be stereotyped as socially inept because they have no interested in discussing the weather with Doris in the till at Sainsburys when they just want to pack their bags in peace or enjoy a solitary coffee without being interrupted.

This place cracks me up sometimes

To be fair to the checkout staff, I don't think it is they who are perpetuating endless conversations, it's the customers. I never tut or fuss about having to wait for a customer to stop chatting but I feel sorry for the checkout staff who have clocked the queue and anticipate a complaint.

The day after the coronation the lady in front of me was talking about it, in huge detail and the queue was building up. I understand that people can get lonely but, what about cafes, libraries and other places where people aren't in so much of a rush? Supermarket checkout queues are busy places.

I always say 'Hello' to the checkout staff, our Sainsbury's is great. I don't have time for chatting though. I have no idea why some posters are so angry and sad that chatting isn't the norm for others? The non-chatters don't impact your life in any way, they're in and out - the chatters impact everybody else in the queue.

The 'slow lane' could be a great idea. The customers could chat to each other whilst waiting to get to the till. Problem solved.

I have to agree that 'not being abundantly chummy' and 'being socially inept' are not identical. Both are, of course, subjective judgements in most cases.

Often when I am second in the queue and the person in front is having a chat with the cashier or assistant, I'll discreetly listen in. You hear all sorts that way and if they are being friendly it is a nice thing to be near.

I would think that eavesdropping, Charlottenburger. I keep my distance from the person in front because I don't want them to feel pressurised and flustered.

This thread has been interesting because we all do things differently. I think there's a disparity between busy and non-busy people. If you have time on your hands then a chat is always nice but if you're in a rush, it's stressful when you're delayed and didn't expect to be. That's the point. It's not that people not wanting to chat are necessarily unfriendly, just that they're expected elsewhere and haven't the time/patience for it.

I saw the advert (Age UK) where the man had been widowed and was talking about how lonely he was. There definitely needs to be someplace where chatting is expected and welcomed.

I did say 'discreetly'. In particular in my local Spar the first person might be chatting to the till lady about the corns on her feet, the second person will pipe up and say 'I've got them, they're awful!', the third will chime in with the name of their chiropodist, etc. A lot of the customers are of West Indian heritage, and they are very notably not stand-offish, especially the older ones. I like this and enjoy being included as well. I don't mean I earwig everywhere and anywhere. I do know the difference.

It's the disdain for basic human contact and courtesy that I find shocking.

Sorry, Charlotteburgen, I meant that I was told off for eavesdropping as a child and it never left me. I wasn't having a pop at you and didn't mean to suggest that you were breathing down the lady's neck!

It sounds as if your local shop has more of a community feel. That's the thing, when we post, we're all thinking of our own shops that we go to and have those in mind. The ones I go to are generally supermarkets and it's inbetween something else I have to do so I'm always on the clock it feels like.

Indeed, there's nothing wrong with a simple/quick question, but some just don't take the hint you don't want to talk and just go on and on, and won't just accept a quick "it's going ok" or "fine thanks" response, and just carry on talking and asking questions. So many people just can't read the signs anymore.

Courtesy works both ways. If someone clearly doesn't want to engage in small talk, then they should be left alone and not be subjected to further chat, or the "engager" taking it as some kind of insult. Read the sodding signs folks!

I was just going to respond but you’ve said it for me thank you

There’s no ‘distain for basic human contact’ - how dramatic
Sone people just want to privately go about their business, others happy to chat - not quite sure why sone find this shocking??

I’m more shocked that anyone is in the slightest bit bothered about something that doesn’t affect them in the slightest.

I’m very friendly and chatty in social situations- getting my shopping bagged up, travelling with my headphones in or sitting quietly minding my own business isn’t a social setting and actually I find others choosing to intrude on others peace and quiet pretty rude tbh

@user1497207191 - apologies I wasn’t referring to you, it was the post you quoted

I was once in a supermarket and rellies were coming at the weekend. On the belt, I had 4 bottles of wine, a bottle of gin, 12 bottles of beer. The man behind me in the queue said in a South African accent, 'I'd like to come to your house!'. I said, 'My mother's coming over, I need to be prepared'. He said 'What, that's all for your mother?'. I said 'No, it's for me so I can put up with her.' The woman behind him said 'My mother's like that'. This was a big Tesco.

I own a coffee shop and LOVE chatting to everyone who comes in. I can tell they all genuinely enjoy someone taking the time to ask about their lives. Also I can tell those who just want to grab something and run And I don't do it with those people, they have a vibe, guessing you have it too. Nothing wrong with that either but don't assume others don't enjoy it

But it absolutely does affect me. Its about the basic human condition to make social connection. Why are people expecting strangers to 'read the signs' that they don't won't to speak? Just appreciate that someone has actually bothered to talk to you, suck it up and make an effort. Then again, we are on a forum where people jump out of their skins if the phone rings or think every stranger who speaks to them is a sexual predator. I frickin despair.

It's the disdain for basic human contact and courtesy that I find shocking.

Or you could realise that not everyone is like you, and respect that some people just want to be left alone sometimes?

It's incredibly rude to basically force your preferences onto other people. Nobody owes you a conversation.

Why should I just ‘suck it up’ when I’m making it very clear I’m not interested in discussing the weather or what sort of day I’ve had with a random stranger?
Tbh it very rarely happens to me anyway as I use self service, keeps my headphones in and put my walls up. It’s MY privacy and it’s really got nothing to do with anyone else.

And you despair because other people aren’t the same as you? Really dramatic

I’m 50 years old and made it this far without needing to ‘suck it up’ - and as I stated I think continuing to engage anyone in conversation when they’re obviously not showing any interest is far more rude. Maybe THEY need to suck it up and understand sone of us have zero interest in meaningless small talk

Just appreciate that someone has actually bothered to talk to you, suck it up and make an effort.

How incredibly arrogant and rude of you to presume other people owe you a conversation.

Absolutely 💯 agree. I’m far from unsociable but I really have no interest in making small talk when I’m going about my business.

Well done for making it this far. Survivin' not thrivin'.

I’m doing fine thank you for your concern. Probably because I’ve not wasted time talking shit with the randoms.

Yep. Pretty bloody selfish I’d say