Page 6 | To keep my son off school.

ThankYouMama · 2023-05-09T05:31:34+00:00

GM. My partner has been admitted into hospital for treatment for his OCD. Our 6 year old son is upset and confused, our 17 month old is staying at my partners mother until he has finished his treatment and is feeling better. Yesterday he behaved pretty badly, and is refusing to go to school today. I really don't want to send him, because I don't know how he is going to behave whilst there, and I will probably be on edge for the whole day

sossyegg · 09/05/2023 10:10

@ThankYouMama "No, I actually wanted another baby, I was hoping for a girl. I feel as if our son would have been a girl the whole situation would be a-lot different, I would want her with me at all times."

This is disgusting. Your poor children.

123rainbow · 09/05/2023 10:13

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 09/05/2023 06:44

Keep things as normal for 6yo as possible.
School isn't optional.
Explain to teacher what has happened so they can keep an eye out for unusual reactions.

Agree with this.

Reasonableadjustments · 09/05/2023 10:14

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 09:39

Yes my partner was admitted privately, we have bupa full coverage but it doesn't cover it.

I don't know how long he is going to be there for, no doubt will he offer to pay in full or half. I feel as his partner I should pay, this could be the making of our relationship.

This could be the making of you not the relationship. You need to get out love.

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:16

BodyKeepingScore · 09/05/2023 09:44

@SchoolTripDrama I’m not sure which part of my post you thought meant that school would inform social services, or how that relates to anyone being a single parent? That’s absolutely not what I said. A referral is always* made when a parent requires a hospital admission. The Gateway team assess whether there is a role for them in supporting the other parent, sometimes this closes as soon as they receive it, other times they’ll check in with the other parent. It’s nothing to do with the school or being a single parent or not.

Nope! No they do not call social services when a parent is admitted to hospital what a load of nonsense. I'm a single parent (widowed) and I've been admitted into hospital many times for various reasons (once for a suicide attempt) and I've never once had any contact from social services! Why on earth would they?! A parent needing medical care does not mean they need their parenting looking at or that the other parent can’t cope ffs! Hence my mention of single parents. If one parent couldn't cope looking after children then how do single parents manage?!

SomethingWycked · 09/05/2023 10:16

Frightening is the fact that you stay out after dropping the older child at school because you don't want to be around your partner with his severe OCD & behaviours, yet you are leaving your younger child with him all day.

I'm also hoping this is a fake thread.

PurpleWisteria1 · 09/05/2023 10:17

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 06:46

Thank you hun,

I suffer either anxiety myself, it's just all overwhelming for me, I did expect our 6 year old to play up because it's just me and him.

He usually loves going to school, but I know if I take him today I'll be on edge and probably have an anxiety attack and I don't want to force myself on other people.

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But you are projecting your anxiety as a reason for him not going to school where he should be?
Put him and his needs first- not your own. He deserves that much at least?

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/05/2023 10:17

“When I have taken him out alone, as soon as we walk through the door, my partner would undress our baby, when I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm checking for bruising and marks, because I don't know who is has been around" then he'd take him straight into the bathroom to bath him.”

Your family needs urgent help. I would urge you to contact SS yourself. You and your partner are damaging your children.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/05/2023 10:18

I’d try and keep things as normal as possible for child but definitely let school know his parent is in hospital and he’s upset and confused. Ask them to let you know if any issues. They may be able to offer him space in a nurture group etc.

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:19

@BodyKeepingScore Why would the mental health team get involved?! There are many reasons why somebody would be admitted into hospital ffs

Iminthemoneylife · 09/05/2023 10:19

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 09:39

Yes my partner was admitted privately, we have bupa full coverage but it doesn't cover it.

I don't know how long he is going to be there for, no doubt will he offer to pay in full or half. I feel as his partner I should pay, this could be the making of our relationship.

Neither if you work but you have full medical insurance?

BodyKeepingScore · 09/05/2023 10:20

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:16

Nope! No they do not call social services when a parent is admitted to hospital what a load of nonsense. I'm a single parent (widowed) and I've been admitted into hospital many times for various reasons (once for a suicide attempt) and I've never once had any contact from social services! Why on earth would they?! A parent needing medical care does not mean they need their parenting looking at or that the other parent can’t cope ffs! Hence my mention of single parents. If one parent couldn't cope looking after children then how do single parents manage?!

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I’ve been through the process many times myself and in Northern Ireland they 100% do. Perhaps it’s different where you are although I don’t suspect that it is. Social services don’t automatically become involved, if they receive the referral and it’s clear the children are not in need of support then they have no role, but the mental health team are duty bound when there are children involved to notify social services.
Again, it’s not an assumption that any parent can’t cope… it’s to identify whether there is a role for SS in supporting the family as a whole. You seem unnecessarily offended by this idea.

offyoufuckcuntychops · 09/05/2023 10:21

If this is real, it is dysfunctional on every conceivable level.

The 6 yr old needs to be at school, and surrounded by sane and concerned adults (i.e. teachers) as well as friends and routine.

The 17 month old who made the mistake of being a boy rather than a girl might in fact be better off not with either parent.

Both parents need urgent help, as they're not going to be able to unscramble this. Even if the OP's husband is "cured", the family is already seriously fucked up far beyond anything they could work out between themselves.

MichelleScarn · 09/05/2023 10:21

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:19

@BodyKeepingScore Why would the mental health team get involved?! There are many reasons why somebody would be admitted into hospital ffs

@SchoolTripDrama the op has said it's a voluntary private.psych admission

highlanbott · 09/05/2023 10:21

So you leave your 17 month old all day alone with your partner whilst you stay outside?

Reasonableadjustments · 09/05/2023 10:21

This is really dysfunctional

Dixiechickonhols · 09/05/2023 10:23

I’d also contact your hv and explain he’s been hospitalised and see what support they can offer.
If money isn’t an issue would some practical support like a cleaner help you cope better day to day.

RunningRunningRunningRunningRunning · 09/05/2023 10:24

Your posts are concerning to be honest. Do you have involvement with ss, it all sounds very dysfunctional. I'm glad you took the older child to school, he absolutely needs to be in school. I hope you have help and support in place, sounds like it is needed.

Theluggage15 · 09/05/2023 10:25

Obviously I’m reporting this load of old nonsense.

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:25

I've just called my friend's sister who is notably high up in child protection in my county and she laughed and said "If only we had the resources for that, we might make some headway! Perhaps some trust areas have the requirement to notify for every admission but here it's only if there's a concern. In any case, it usually goes first to any HCP that may be involved with the patient such as a Health Visitor or sometimes the child/children's school. We're the last to be involved"

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 10:27

@BodyKeepingScore It's the underlying assumption that because one parent is in hospital and isn't in the home, that the other parent couldn't possibly cope that irks me when us non-voluntarily single parents cope wonderfully well alone every day!

Single parent judgement is EVERYWHERE

HerMammy · 09/05/2023 10:28

So he was 17, you were 22/23?
No need to work,
live in central London,
private health care,
shop in Harrods,
Is this a storyline for a reality show?
Sadly a shit show of abuse and neglect of two poor little boys.

CoffeeYes · 09/05/2023 10:29

@ThankYouMama You and your DP are both unemployed and yet you still struggle to look after a school aged child and a baby? Are you taking medication and seeing a therapist due to your anxiety? I think if both you and your DP have mental illnesses that are so severe that you cannot look after both of your children then you need SS to get involved and support you. If you’re reluctant to get professional help then think about your sons. They deserve parents that are well enough to take care of them.

No, I actually wanted another baby, I was hoping for a girl. I feel as if our son would have been a girl the whole situation would be a-lot different, I would want her with me at all times.

Your poor sons.

Iwasafool · 09/05/2023 10:30

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 09:41

No, I actually wanted another baby, I was hoping for a girl. I feel as if our son would have been a girl the whole situation would be a-lot different, I would want her with me at all times.

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Poor baby, you literally are treating him like this because he is a boy?

CoffeeYes · 09/05/2023 10:31

HerMammy · 09/05/2023 10:28

So he was 17, you were 22/23?
No need to work,
live in central London,
private health care,
shop in Harrods,
Is this a storyline for a reality show?
Sadly a shit show of abuse and neglect of two poor little boys.

This story is either fake or they are bank rolled by mum and dad. If this is true then I feel so sorry for the two little boys.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/05/2023 10:32

Hercisback · 09/05/2023 06:47

A six year old shouldn't be your MH support and emotional crutch.

Sorry, what ? Where did she say this ? She’s considering not sending him to school because he may play up and have an anxiety attack, not because she wants him home as an ‘emotional crutch’ !!