To keep my son off school.

[ThankYouMama]

GM.

My partner has been admitted into hospital for treatment for his OCD.

Our 6 year old son is upset and confused, our 17 month old is staying at my partners mother until he has finished his treatment and is feeling better.

Yesterday he behaved pretty badly, and is refusing to go to school today. I really don't want to send him, because I don't know how he is going to behave whilst there, and I will probably be on edge for the whole day

The “assumption” isn’t being made by me. And I personally found it very distressing the idea that my own parenting might be called into question because I was seriously unwell. As it turns out they spoke to my partner on the phone and no further contact was needed. But the Royal College of Psychiatry are very clear on the policies should a patient be admitted to hospital. It’s not about implying someone can’t care for the children, it’s about supporting the whole family. Some need that support, others don’t.

Jesus - I’d be checking myself in right next to him if this is a serious post.

You won’t return home as he is a nightmare But you are quite happy to leave your 17 month at home with him?
What on Earth am I reading? Why don’t it take your youngest with you where ever you go in the day?
Where do you go?

Definitely not wealthy. That part is all created by an unstable mind.

The youngest has most likely been already removed upon partner's unreasonable/abusive behaviour. Where he's really at? Prison cell? Drugs rehab?

The family must be under the Social Services watch already - hence OP is worried what further referrals her son's absence from school might trigger. I hope he gets taken to safety too.

Remove the "Harrods" part and we all can picture the family.

This is one of the most awful things I've ever read on here.

OP grow up. Your partner is abusive. Both of you are using mental health as an excuse not to parent properly.

You don't work but can't be bothered to parent your baby because he's a boy? And even without your partner around you still can't be bothered, so your partner "not liking you taking him out" is an excuse. And you'd leave a 17 month old all day with a mentally ill man that you go out all day to avoid?

You need to call social services, hire in some proper help like a nanny if you cannot cope alone, get some proper therapy for yourself and start putting your children first. And not have your partner back to live in the house as his behaviour is so damaging to the children.

You should both be ashamed of yourselves, any concern for your children seems to be an afterthought. Grow up, fast, and start behaving like a mother.

No, that’s not what she said.
Later in the thread She said that she didn’t want him to go to school because HER anxiety would be too bad taking him in and also during the day whilst he was there.

OP you need a break from each other, your mental health issues are literally thriving off of each others anxiety and it is toxic. I think due to your anxiety you are happy to let your partner take control but by doing this your are enabling his OCD. The healthiest thing for you would be to take your eldest to school and go and get your youngest child, spend each day with them for now while your partner is away. Research nurserys and consider getting a job or a volunteer role to start with if you don’t need it for financial reasons. It sounds like you’ve totally lost track of reality. Your partner is not going to improve if he comes home and is allowed to keep up this routine he has orchestrated. It is part of his obsessive and controlling behaviours.

I think he will be better off at school as it will keep him busy and give you a few hours respite

Respite from what? She doesn't work and won't parent her own children.

OP, YOU avoid being around him because of his OCD and how hard it is. Why on earth would you leave him with the kids? You don't think his behaviour affects them?

Your 6yo is acting anxious because he is picking up on YOUR anxiety, and because of the huge disruption to his routine. Not only has his dad gone, you've also shipped off his brother, you admit yourself you're a bit of a mess - of course he's misbehaving. He needs the consistency of school. None of what you've done has prioritised him. What prioritises him is getting help with your anxiety and stepping up to parent both your kids. And god help your poor 17 month old, he's suddenly without either of his parents or his brother for an indefinite amount of time! How would you have felt as a young child suddenly abandoned with relatives alone?

You may not want a social services referal but you need one. They can offer help and support.

No, you paying for his hospital stay will NOT be the making of your relationship. The problems go so much deeper.

But it's not against single parenting per se. In this situation there has been a sudden change from having two parents around to only having one. I think it is reasonable for this to be flagged. In my own situation, my DH was admitted to psychiatric inpatient care and it was flagged to SS. They checked school attendance and I had a call from Early Help to check if I needed any support. (Albeit not particularly soon after the admission!!).

I’m going to be very harsh here, but if what you’re posting is real, op, you really need to sort yourself out. You sound utterly incapable of raising two children and those kids are going to suffer badly. You chose to have them knowing that you likely wouldn’t be able to cope. You happily leave your dp all day with the baby despite the fact that you can’t be around him. He doesn’t trust your ability to look after the kids. What a mess. Get some help for your anxiety now and start behaving like a responsible parent.

this could be the making of our relationship

For God's sake. Your relationship is finished. Continue to pay for his hospital treatment if you wish but start putting your children first. His behaviour is hugely damaging to them and you have been enabling it and leaving them to fend for themselves with it while you go out for the day to "escape".

Your attitude is shocking. Hire in the help you need and start caring properly for your children. Your partner will have to live somewhere else when he's well enough to leave hospital and can slowly reestablish supervised contact with your children as he becomes well enough. Focus now on sorting yourself out and being a decent parent.

Creepy?

You have a very sick mind

"Thank you Mama" is actually a book, go and look it up on Amazon. I had just finished reading it to my youngest child, that's how I come up with the username.

I never once said I was wealthy 😳

It's always the "Royal Family Worshippers" like yourself that are most opinionated.

@ThankYouMama you sound worse with every post.
Your poor kids.

If even a fraction of what you are posting is true then you need to be proactive and ask for help and support. You have two children and they both deserve to be with people who love and care for them, at the moment the very clear message is the youngest is the wrong child and you’re not bothered with them.

Single parent judgement is EVERYWHERE

@SchoolTripDrama that's as may be, but this isn't about you or the general take on single parents, it's specifically about the OP's situation and if you aren't alarmed by her posts here and on other threads and don't think that SS should be involved, then you're way too blinded by your own experiences. I'd bet if they weren't so well-off, there'd be much more concern for their DC IRL, but those who frequent the Priory and Harrods tend to be left alone more, which is a pity for the DC.

Why wouldn't I leave my children with their dad?

He is not a danger to them, there many parent out there who scream and even hit their children neither of us have never and would never do that to the boys.

Abuse and danger come in many more forms than just shouting and physically abusing.

I would keep him off for a day, as a one off. Would bring the 17mo back - can your partner’s mother or another family member stay for a night or two to help?

What you and your partner are doing to these children is potentially a lot more damaging that screaming or even hitting. Let that sink in. You are neglecting and emotionally abusing your children by forcing them to live in such an unhealthy environment.

I feel as if our son would have been a girl the whole situation would be a-lot different, I would want her with me at all times.”

Your poor, poor baby boy. What an utterly abhorrent thing to say.