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Original poster

To keep my son off school.

612 replies

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 06:31

GM.

My partner has been admitted into hospital for treatment for his OCD.

Our 6 year old son is upset and confused, our 17 month old is staying at my partners mother until he has finished his treatment and is feeling better.

Yesterday he behaved pretty badly, and is refusing to go to school today. I really don't want to send him, because I don't know how he is going to behave whilst there, and I will probably be on edge for the whole day

OP posts:
offyoufuckcuntychops · 09/05/2023 22:32

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DothThouTwerk · 09/05/2023 22:34

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Reasonableadjustments · 09/05/2023 22:35

And there's nothing wrong with being a single mother. I firmly believe in my case it was and is and remains the best thing for my children.

callmemavis · 09/05/2023 22:35

to be fair it is rather fucked up to say your youngest would still be with you if he had been born a girl. like what does that even mean?

anon12093 · 09/05/2023 22:42

Wtf is going on on this thread

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 22:42

Reasonableadjustments · 09/05/2023 22:35

And there's nothing wrong with being a single mother. I firmly believe in my case it was and is and remains the best thing for my children.

I know there's nothing wrong with being a single parent, I salute single mothers, I wish I was as strong as them at times.

OP posts:
Reasonableadjustments · 09/05/2023 22:44

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Scirocco · 09/05/2023 22:44

At 6 years old, @ThankYouMama , your son should not be settled in bed with his iPad as part of his night time routine.

Screens are very stimulating, especially for young children. They aren't suitable for just before bed.

porridgeisbae · 09/05/2023 22:47

I don't know the effect it is going to have on me. It could make me sleepy, very drowsy etc. I need to care for our 6 year old to the best of my ability.

It could/will make you better able to care for your children. Yes you might get some side effects at first, or you might not, but then you should start to feel better.

If one med doesn't work for you there are many others they can try until they find the best one for you.

Scirocco · 09/05/2023 22:48

In terms of medication, if you're worried about drowsiness being a potential issue, why not ask your MIL to take both children or to come stay for a few days?

FrenchieF · 09/05/2023 22:50

if you’re 6 year old is in school you have your 17 month baby on your own the let the grandparents help in the evening for homework bedtime

FrenchieF · 09/05/2023 22:50

*Your

DixonD · 09/05/2023 22:51

Poppyblush · 09/05/2023 07:01

Sorry but you need to learn to look after both your children.

This. You can’t keep sending one of them away when things get difficult. How will that make them feel as they get older? (I know, and it’s not good.)

How would you cope if you suddenly found yourself a single mother? There’s no quick fix for OCD; who knows how long he’ll be in for or if he’ll need to go back.

1ittlegreen · 09/05/2023 23:00

kittensinthekitchen · 09/05/2023 13:16

@ThankYouMama Can you expand further on your comment wishing your baby was a girl?

Were you able to cope with your first child alone when he was younger? Do you think your ability to manage parenthood has decreased as your partner's OCD has worsened?

I took this as OP is from a culture where a baby boy is seen as more precious than a girl, and therefore the partner would not feel the compulsion to keep the girl safe with him at all times.

I also think the OP gets chauffeured around, which is why it is effortless and perhaps a bit of a sanctuary to visit Harrods etc...

There are many Middle Eastern families living in Westminster and K & C where they don't need to work and have the luxury of house staff.

This may be wrong, I was reading between the lines.

Glad the OP has some good friends, worried about her confusing attitude, like not understanding that instead of meeting a friend for breakfast, she should perhaps be retrieving her 17-month-old baby. Also, the 'prefer a girl' comment hasn't been addressed.

I understand MN is bringing you support OP but it's not giving you support in real life as it's all anonymous. Please speak to someone in RL for the sake of your children. They are a gift.

momonpurpose · 09/05/2023 23:05

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RampantIvy · 09/05/2023 23:12

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PixieLaLa · 09/05/2023 23:19

@1ittlegreen I was also trying to give OP the benefit of the doubt about the baby girl comment too but got this reply:

”PixieLaLa · Today 13:09

I took the comment about if OP had had a girl they would be with her all the time because DP would want/let her but I could be totally wrong there!”

*Yes you are totally wrong!

I wanted girls, but I am happy with my boys now they are here.

I was hoping our second child would be a little girl, but he wasn't. I don't care if this sounds wrong, but if he were a girl, I would have her with me all the time because a girl is what I've been longing for.*

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 09/05/2023 23:23

Taking medication is 100% your choice but the majority of people including myself find it extremely beneficial alongside talking therapies I don't understand why you would want to suffer more than you need to especially when it's impacting your children

CabernetSauvignon · 09/05/2023 23:27

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 22:14

I am not going to take medication, therapy is my medication.

I am not going to start taking it because people here have told me to, I have my own mind!

But therapy isn't working for you, is it? Why would you not do something that has the potential to make you feel much better and stronger?

1ittlegreen · 09/05/2023 23:35

ThankYouMama it is selfish to NOT take medication. You are giving excuses that don't hold water. I promise you will see a positive impact within a month to six weeks if you start medication now.

You have nothing to lose if you try it, you have everything to lose if you don't.

Norriscolesbag · 09/05/2023 23:36

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porridgeisbae · 10/05/2023 00:24

This. You can’t keep sending one of them away when things get difficult. How will that make them feel as they get older? (I know, and it’s not good.)

This is a good point from Dixon @ThankYouMama . When I was 2 my dad had a nervous breakdown and I was sent away to live with my gran. I was a bright child and I think my mum possibly said to my gran that she didn't know when I would be able to come back and I overheard them, not sure if that's true or not.

Either way, my younger sister was kept at home and I was sent away- it had a lasting effect on me that arguably to some extent lasted my whole life. I hated abandonment/rejection for instance.

Also the pattern repeated in our family for my whole childhood, of my dad being the centre of attention.

What's happening will have a lasting effect on your children unless you deal with it well and impartially.

And be sure to make your children more of a priority than you or your 'partner.'

cornishcrusader · 10/05/2023 01:19

The OP has said several times on this thread, and several times on another thread, that she has not raised her voice or hit her children. She does not seem to realise there are other types of abuse, that in my experience can be even more damaging and long lasting. I have been a foster carer for 30 years and emotional abuse such as this, and sending your baby away at the time they need you the most, are things that sadly can have life long effects. Your little one may not remember you spent most of the day away from him, they may not hear you say if only they were a girl you would not do this, but they will one day learn this. How do you think they will then feel? And your poor, poor little six year old, who you said on another thread has been crying and not eating and begging to go to his brother and grandparents. Instead he is in bed on a school night, and on his iPad after 9.30pm. I truly hope that someone in real life can get the children the help and support they most desperately need. I truly feel for their well being, and a trip to Harrods or Hamleys sadly do not compensate for that. Those poor children and this is one of the saddest stories I have read on here.

SparklyBlackKitten · 10/05/2023 01:30

Your poor poor kids

You even refer to your own baby as
"I'm going to and visit the baby soon "

You have untreated(!)anxiety your husband severe ocd. You can't look after both kids. Your husband doesn't trust you to look after them etc etc

And you ? You prioritise your partner and yourself above your kids wellbeing ..

dig135 · 10/05/2023 05:44

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