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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have a problem with the burkini?

817 replies

Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 20:28

Honest answers please

would you give a woman (maybe Muslim maybe Jewish) a wide berth if you saw them wearing a burkini or modest (Ie fully covered) swimsuit at a pool?

if you see a woman wearing one do you give it a second thought or is it just a meh, who cares?

tia

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Gwenhwyfar · 07/05/2023 22:12

"I’m not actually sure either are banned in France you know."

Swimming shorts for men are banned in swimming pools in Belgium, something Muslim men often complain about.

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:13

YoungandHopeful · 07/05/2023 22:09

I saw someone wearing this the other day and thought it looked uncomfortable. My view as you are asking is that I think it looks ridiculous as you are under water anyway and honestly noone is interested in your body the few seconds it takes you to walk from the changing room to the pool. Seems to me to be about hang ups about bodies when no one is looking anyway.

For Muslim and Jewish ladies (although the rules are different for both) it’s about modesty not body hang ups

OP posts:
slimeandfearmetro · 07/05/2023 22:13

I see orthodox Jewish women swimming in knitted snoods. I wear a rash top and rash leggings myself. There's nothing wrong with covering, far better that you do so and swim than that you stay away.

Anyone who is rude enough to openly give you the side-eye is doing you a favour by letting you know that they are the kind of judgey, if not outright islamophobic, twat that you're best keeping clear of. Ideally, in current year, a muslim mother parenting in public would go unremarked upon, but until that day arrives, better that the wasps show their stripes so that you at least know that they will sting.

AmazonAmazine · 07/05/2023 22:13

usernamein · 07/05/2023 22:11

Not really an issue as woman's only sessions exist.

I would however like their men to stop looking at me

None of my local swimming pools have brought them back after lockdown. I really miss swimming without random males acting aggressively in the pool

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 07/05/2023 22:14

YoungandHopeful · 07/05/2023 22:09

I saw someone wearing this the other day and thought it looked uncomfortable. My view as you are asking is that I think it looks ridiculous as you are under water anyway and honestly noone is interested in your body the few seconds it takes you to walk from the changing room to the pool. Seems to me to be about hang ups about bodies when no one is looking anyway.

If no one is interested then why do you think it looks ridiculous?

You're either not interested, or interested enough to not only form an opinion, but a negative option at that based on subjective judgements like ridiculous or uncomfortable.

Growlybear83 · 07/05/2023 22:14

usernamein · 07/05/2023 22:11

Not really an issue as woman's only sessions exist.

I would however like their men to stop looking at me

I quite often go to women's only swimming sessions because the timing suits me, but invariably at least one of the lifeguards on duty during the session is male.

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:14

Gwenhwyfar · 07/05/2023 22:12

"I’m not actually sure either are banned in France you know."

Swimming shorts for men are banned in swimming pools in Belgium, something Muslim men often complain about.

So not France then, so what can men wear in Belgium? Every man at the pool was in some form of trunks

OP posts:
melj1213 · 07/05/2023 22:14

I had weight loss surgery last year and have lost nearly 10stone, but have been left with so much loose skin I am not comfortable wearing a normal costume, never mind a bikini, so I bought a pair of swim shorts that come to my knees and a rash vest, so 90% of all my wobbly bits are covered and not flapping about in the pool.

I am very self conscious about my body and have definitely noticed people giving me second looks at the gym pool but then later more than once the person who did a double take approached me to say that they loved my suit and wondered where I got them from because they were self conscious about some body part or other and hadn't seen anything similar on the websites/shops they'd been in.

The "odd looks" were just people being curious about the swimwear as it isn't a standard one piece/bikini and the people were trying to be discreet with their looks, but because I was so heightened to being self conscious I noticed them all and interpreted their curiosity for judgement.

Jason118 · 07/05/2023 22:14

I've never tried one.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/05/2023 22:16

Literally wouldn’t care. I have to swim as part of my job and many of my Muslim colleagues where them in the water.

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:16

@usernamein a muslim woman would still need to wear a modest swim suit in front of other women firstly

and their men? Whose men? You must be very beautiful to catch every man’s eye

OP posts:
Curtain1980 · 07/05/2023 22:16

I was at a spa and saw a woman in a full armed and full legged burkhini sitting in the sauna? I actually felt really sorry for her, her husband was in swim shorts and of course he/they could see our bodies. I honestly would not have even noticed her had she been in a regular swimming costume.

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:18

Curtain1980 · 07/05/2023 22:16

I was at a spa and saw a woman in a full armed and full legged burkhini sitting in the sauna? I actually felt really sorry for her, her husband was in swim shorts and of course he/they could see our bodies. I honestly would not have even noticed her had she been in a regular swimming costume.

Why though? Why feel sorry for her? It’s exactly the same weight wise as a regular costume

OP posts:
Neverquitehappy · 07/05/2023 22:19

@Mvslimah glad to hear it is your choice, but I do still question the conditioning that made you make that choice. Will you be encouraging your daughter to wear the same when she is older?

I’m afraid from my (admittedly limited knowledge) I would presume this was another case of a man’s means of controlling women. But to be fair, I find a man not being allowed to wear red or gold equally baffling.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/05/2023 22:19

"So not France then, so what can men wear in Belgium? Every man at the pool was in some form of trunks"

I don't live in France, but my experience was that shorts are banned in public pools there. However, you had a different experience.
Yes, men can wear trunks in Belgium, but not shorts. They wear the tight ones.

Asparagus1 · 07/05/2023 22:20

The mind boggles as to why some people are so ignorant. I’m sorry this happened to you.

I used to work at a special needs school with a hydrotherapy pool. My Muslim colleagues would wear them, I would wear leggings and t-shirt over my costume to hide my wobbly bits. Not much difference!

Namechange666 · 07/05/2023 22:20

Wouldn't care less. I'm a fatty and I have a gorgeous skirt swimsuit but I also wear some black swimming shorts to my knees. Even If I got the odd look (which I've never had apart from someone who asked where they from as they wanted some) who cares as long as you're comfortable. I feel happier my ginormous thighs are covered. 🤣🤣🤣

Curtain1980 · 07/05/2023 22:22

Cos she was totally roasting and having worn swimming costumes on the beach I can tell you now I’d prefer to wear a bikini cos of the heat. It’d be awful wearing a full length cover up in a sauna! Might be the same material but there is more of it and your skin can’t breath in the same way as it’s totally covered up.

slimeandfearmetro · 07/05/2023 22:22

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 07/05/2023 22:06

@Mvslimah I was being sarcastic. And mostly referring to things like possible hairy armpits/vulvas and who knows what other horrors women might hide when their body is fully covered. A boil or two? Stretch marks? No sanitary protection? Flesh eating bacteria? 😬Who knows what?

Otherwise I can't see how something made from the same material as bikinis,tankinis,rash vest,swim dress, swimsuit etc suddenly become less hygienic simply because it's longer/covers more. It's a nonsensical argument.

Men swan around the pool with hairy armpits, legs, chests all uncovered. At least the burkini contains the hairs so that they don't end up floating around in the pool. Confused

Busbygirl · 07/05/2023 22:22

Not read the full thread but is there a particular reason why you wear one?
Would you wear a bikini also?
No judgement, just interested.

slashlover · 07/05/2023 22:23

ArcticSkewer · 07/05/2023 21:41

The French don't allow long board shorts. Is the xenophobia as well? They are just pretty strict around rules on fibres in the pool and anything that could be worn beyond the pool then worn in it as well.

I'd also like us to be more German and make everyone shower before swimming, and between sauna and pool, but again it's not the British way to worry about hygiene.

Opinions are just that, op. Sometimes they are a bit irrational, sometimes you might disagree, that's just the nature of them. I'm not stopping you wearing your costume, nor do I agree with people commenting to your face or in hearing distance (unless you ask of course). But ask and I'll tell you my personal opinion.

Anyway, that's me done on the subject as it's not that exciting. I'm sorry you were upset today. If you don't want to know what people secretly think, better not to ask, but it was very rude of them to speak aloud.

So a normal swimsuit is fine but a burkini is unhygienic? When does it change? Is it when the material goes to upper thigh? Knee length? Ankle length? At what length does it suddenly change?

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:24

Busbygirl · 07/05/2023 22:22

Not read the full thread but is there a particular reason why you wear one?
Would you wear a bikini also?
No judgement, just interested.

No I would never wear a bikini, I own one to wear underneath but I’ve never wear just a bikini

OP posts:
roseum · 07/05/2023 22:25

Definitely wouldn’t judge. There are a few ladies at my pool who wear similar. One her husband is also quite covered up (ankle length swim leggings with loose shorts on top). I swim in a sports bikini for support with a rash vest on top as I get cold really easily, and am at higher risk of skin cancer so am careful to cover up in the outdoor pool. I don’t think anyone gives all the swimwear styles a second glance round us.

miniaturepixieonacid · 07/05/2023 22:25

Wouldn't think anything of it at all exceot to be a bit jealous. If it wasn't grossly culturally inappropriate for a white Christian to wear one, I'd buy one myself. I'd be much more comfortable and relaxed. As it is, I wear a lycra dance skirt over a swimsuit and look ridiculous!

Original poster
Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 22:26

Curtain1980 · 07/05/2023 22:22

Cos she was totally roasting and having worn swimming costumes on the beach I can tell you now I’d prefer to wear a bikini cos of the heat. It’d be awful wearing a full length cover up in a sauna! Might be the same material but there is more of it and your skin can’t breath in the same way as it’s totally covered up.

I’ve been to saudi and dubai and worn one then in 45 degree heat, let me tell you, felt no difference. And I’ve been in a sauna in one, and in a tankini top and 3/4 leggins (towel around waist women only) and it’s exactly the same. Saunas are pretty much hot no matter how you cut it

OP posts: