Told to leave a group.

[MobilityCat]

I got into trouble at a meeting of people with a common interest. In the beginning, I explained that I had ADHD and asked that if I said anything inappropriate, please tell me, and I'll apologise and stop.
Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.
A lady sitting next to me said that she also had ADHD, but that I should have recognised a line that I should not have crossed.
I told her that I didn't have that ability, I only knew if I got it wrong by the reaction it produced, good or bad.
She told me that wasn't true. She was also prone to inappropriate speech and behaviour but knew what boundaries she shouldn't cross.
Anyway, I was banned from the group, which was hurtful but not unusual. ADHD has cost me friends, jobs, and strained family relationships all my life.

Are you human OP or AL thingy. You've replied with this comment at least 3 times ?

@MichelleScarn and @MammaTo
Agreed, and some very odd ideas about what behaviour can be attributed to ADHD, such as abuse, bad behaviour etc. it's pretty insulting to those of us with a diagnosis.

I did apologise! As I said that I would.

Is it a case that the term "African" is too broad? As Africa is a continent and within it there are many countries with different cultures and ethnicities?
So you can be South African, Moroccan, Sudanese, Nigerian, Egyptian.... they are all "African" but they have distinctly different heritages and ethnic origins.

But from your post- you did nothing wrong.

Yeah I think its your use of "choose".

Yep, you can't choose to be a particular race - you either are that race, are not, or are of mixed race.

Race is not the same as nationality, which I think is confusing many on this thread.

Readin with intrigue

You're not all the same, no, and I don't think anyone has said that. They're saying that ADHD is not an excuse to be offensive/rude/inappropriate and if you are using it as such (which is how your op came across) then you're in the wrong.

Race, nationality and ethnic origin really has done a number on many many people! Yikes!
Nationality is not "fixed", and you can be born in Africa without being 'African'. How odd.

I'd like you to clarify exactly what I said that was agressive and rude.

ADD is an outdated term and no longer used as a medical diagnosis.

Hyperactivity can also mean that the brain is overactive, not the body. ADHD is also exhausting and ends up in lack of motivation so just crashing and not moving for hours.

I have diagnosed ADHD so I am well aware of how it presents.

Posted more information

Posted more details

Posted more details

Why do you keep saying you have posted more information?

Can you not just skip to where the thread is at now?

I asked why telling people you are African is anything to do with ADHD, can you explain this?

Could it be confusion between the terms ‘ethnicity’ and ‘nationality’?

If you are born in Africa, or more specifically an African country, you are African (or that particular nationality). But maybe they think you are stating you are black because they confuse African with meaning Black African? When you are in fact stating you are African without specifying your actual ethnicity (which was the whole point of the conversation in the first place). Maybe in future refer to the nationality rather than generically saying African to avoid further conflict (although that seems unfair when you don’t appear to have done anything wrong).

You should honestly complain about the group & incident. People shouldn’t be presuming your ethnic identity, especially when you have already told them you are of mixed heritage and were born in Africa. Are they saying you’re not African because you don’t look African? It’s like those people who claim Meghan Markle isn’t mixed race because she looks too white 🤨

I have no idea why they responded as they did, which is why I posted this 😍

As you are mixed race the answer to the racial question is ‘mixed race’ or ‘multiple ethnic’ no?

They sound like a weird bunch of people but African is an odd answer if you’re mixed ethnic heritage.

She's talking about the race forms though.

OP has stated she's not black and these forms clearly state BLACK - African/Caribbean etc. The African option is no available for any other races as its only used to describe which black race you are. So OP is being goady putting her race as BLACK on these forms even though she's a non black mixed raced person who was born in Africa. She's skewing the statistics by ticking her race as black african.

As a black African OP is wrong. The forms do annoy me for various reasons, but OP is wrong to declare herself black just because she was born in AfricA.

Apologies OP

I don't use it as an excuse, I always apologise and stop.
The reason I tell people that I expect to be working with or socialising with is so they are aware, and if I get it wrong, to tell me.

If she’s mixed race Caucasian and black African then she’s not “non-black” - what a weird phrase.

So you're making other people responsible for your behaviour?

I'm not being goady, I declared myself to be African, not black. You may describe yourself as British, although you're either English, Welsh, Scottish, or Irish. Or a mix.

But from all her messages she's not mixed with any black. She's mixed race but not African racially in any way (only nationality), as OP stated below:

"Since I'm from Africa, I described myself as African, although I'm not a black person as such."

It's not a weird phrase - she's non-black African because she's not black racially.

She's wrong to use the "Black African" option to describe her race instead of using the mixed race options available on the form.

Well OP, I think you’re better off without this group. I would find a group that doesn’t take such ridiculous offence.