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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think less of dh because he voted for Brexit and reads The Daily Mail?

138 replies

Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:27

I know the Brexit vote was years ago but it really made me lose respect for dh. Obviously we've moved on, but he doesn't read a newspaper apart from the Mail online, is obsessed with tiktok and had no idea who the Archbishop of Canterbury was today. He's in his early 50s. I'm not a pretentious arse but I read a newspaper daily and have a pretty good grasp of politics. I'm beginning to feel as though we don't have much in common. We've been together for 30 years!

OP posts:
QueueEtwo · 06/05/2023 22:50

QueueEtwo · 06/05/2023 22:48

To be fair I think I would be depressed if I had voted for Brexit! 🤣

But on a serious note I think if your options on politics are do wide apart I'm not sure where you go from there!

Opinions! 🙄

Kendodd · 06/05/2023 22:51

Zebedee999 · 06/05/2023 22:11

I'd like to think who someone votes for doesn't 100% define them. As an example I am ashamed that I voted Labour in the 90's, they then created the infamous dodgy dossier to take us into an illegal war killing millions. Once bitten I'll never vote for the warmongers again but does that mean that people should hold it against me forever?
(PS - You should be grateful he voted for Brexit and not Labour's illegal war like I did, how would you feel if he'd voted Labour?)

Do you vote Tory?
Because they whole heartedly also supported the Iraq war at the time.
Another difference is that Labour didn't put 'wage war against Iraq' in its manifesto. Whereas we were all told how damaging Brexit would be in advance, some of us chose to believe Nigel Farage and the Daily Mail and voted Leave anyway.
I say this as someone who hasn't voted Labour since the Iraq war.

As for your husband OP, at least he's not so stupid to still be pretending Brexit was a brilliant idea and has delivered the promised sunlit uplands.

PermanentTemporary · 06/05/2023 22:53

The fact that he's depressed and addicted to his phone sounds much worse than his vote or his reading.

Maybe talk to him about what he's reading? You could have a discussion, he might cheer up a bit. Or just get out and find a new hobby together.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 06/05/2023 23:01

yanbu

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 06/05/2023 23:02

Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:45

What do you mean? We'd been together 20 years pre the Brexit vote. I had no idea he'd voted for Brexit until afterwards.

He didn't used to be this boring. We used to take the piss out of the DM. It's all happened in the last few years.

Show quote history

Sounds just like my ex.

When I found out he had voted leave, it gave me the outright ick. I don't think our kids have forgiven him for that, either.

Apparently he is even worse these days! Thankfully I don't have to listen to him any more 😄

Crikeyalmighty · 06/05/2023 23:03

@Gymrabbit that would be all us'snowfkakes' then -whereas so many leave voters of course were so tolerant of those who felt that Brexit was a complete clusterfuck that would make the country as a whole poorer (although not certain individuals) and with less inward investment. You talk about tolerance- it does of course work both ways, so why should those who've lost businesses, jobs, opportunities to retire abroad etc show any tolerance - when we were shown none at all by many voting leave. The only satisfying thing is my FIL now says our predictions were 100% correct and he was totally lied to by Johnson and co.

Nimbostratus100 · 06/05/2023 23:03

I think less of anyone who voted for Brexit. It wasn't "years ago", the damage has hardly started and will probably last centuries

DanceMonster · 06/05/2023 23:04

Have you only just found out he voted for Brexit and reads the Daily Mail?

90stalgia · 06/05/2023 23:04

So does mine, but we have enough other things in common for it not to matter.

Bargellobitch · 06/05/2023 23:07

Yeah I wouldn't want to be married to a right wing bigot either

slithytoveisascientist · 06/05/2023 23:08

TikTok is for everyone loads of fantastic content on there, some even created by 50+ year olds 🧐

Loads of people read the DM, it's free. Doesn't mean they agree with the content.

Brexit. I think we were lied to and many many people made a mistake with their vote. He may stand by it but only you know if it's a dealbreaker.

Try TikTok, you might like it.

Marchintospring · 06/05/2023 23:11

My husband and I vote differently politically we and voted differently over Brexit and we both fit the stereotypes if we’re honest. Thing is we have always recognised this and its nice when we agree on stuff but it’s not necessary. I understand why he votes his way and he gets why I vote mine.
If anything it helps when we have conversations about political topics because we accept why we think like we do. Neither of us has to be right.

I guess if your dynamic is different it could be a challenge.

TheHandmaiden · 06/05/2023 23:12

Nobody was lied to about Brexit. The consequences were clear.

A lot of people chose not to listen and decided that they'd take a gamble.

We all lost. So yes, it's the kind of thing that people aren't likely to be that forgiving of, unlike reading a newspaper

Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:15

DanceMonster · 06/05/2023 23:04

Have you only just found out he voted for Brexit and reads the Daily Mail?

No. But I thought I could see past it. Brexit was the first time he'd done something that was politically different to how he'd been for all the years before (we met in the 90s!)

I don't think I'm morally superior to him at all, but I'm slightly ashamed to admit that the Brexit thing still matters, in fact I suppose the worse this country gets the worse it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:16

He's only started to read the mail online over the last few years.

He used to read books but is now addicted to his phone.

OP posts:
QueueEtwo · 06/05/2023 23:17

There is a difference between reading the Daily mail on line because it's free & you might like the odd Femsil article and swallowing the hateful right agenda that it pushes!

quietnightmare · 06/05/2023 23:17

Is he allowed to wipe his own bum or do you control that too?

He voted for Brexit and that was his choice. Move on or break up over it do what you like

But judging him for the daily Mail and tik tok? I'm sure you do things that annoy him such as telling him what to do and holding grudges. Your not better than him despite what you think.

Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:18

slithytoveisascientist · 06/05/2023 23:08

TikTok is for everyone loads of fantastic content on there, some even created by 50+ year olds 🧐

Loads of people read the DM, it's free. Doesn't mean they agree with the content.

Brexit. I think we were lied to and many many people made a mistake with their vote. He may stand by it but only you know if it's a dealbreaker.

Try TikTok, you might like it.

I don't have time or inclination for tiktok. I don't hate it, just not interested in it. I think it's a bit pathetic that he's so into it tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:19

quietnightmare · 06/05/2023 23:17

Is he allowed to wipe his own bum or do you control that too?

He voted for Brexit and that was his choice. Move on or break up over it do what you like

But judging him for the daily Mail and tik tok? I'm sure you do things that annoy him such as telling him what to do and holding grudges. Your not better than him despite what you think.

No, he can wipe his arse himself thanks.

OP posts:
Kiwivicjules · 06/05/2023 23:19

I voted Brexit thinking that the NHS would be better off . I didn’t do my homework and have regretted my vote for many years . I definitely was ignorant but didn’t realise it at the time 🤷‍♀️

Kendodd · 06/05/2023 23:19

Gymrabbit · 06/05/2023 22:35

Mumsnet never fails to go this way.
Sanctimonious leftie remainers bleating on about how awful it is that people think differently to them and how morally superior they are.
has it really not sunk in yet?
you’ve been on the losing side again and again yet still consider yourselves morally and intellectually superior to the people who vote for the wining side.
OP - If you don’t like your husband anymore and consider him too stupid to be with someone as well informed as you please tell him and let him find someone who will appreciate him.

Do you think remain voters would be so 'sanctimonious' or consider themselves 'morally and intellectually superior' to leave voters if Brexit was going brilliantly ? Genuine question.

Maybe remain voters are a bit pissed off that leave voters have taken the UK from 90% the size of the German economy and reduced it to below 70% the size?

quietnightmare · 06/05/2023 23:20

@Pineda
Good for you allowing him some choice

Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:20

Kiwivicjules · 06/05/2023 23:19

I voted Brexit thinking that the NHS would be better off . I didn’t do my homework and have regretted my vote for many years . I definitely was ignorant but didn’t realise it at the time 🤷‍♀️

Tbf this is what dh thinks. I know he regrets it but deep down I think it was so stupid I can't get past it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:21

quietnightmare · 06/05/2023 23:20

@Pineda
Good for you allowing him some choice

He doesn't have a choice. He has to wipe his own arse.

OP posts:
SleazyLizzard · 06/05/2023 23:21

I’m glad he’s reading the Daily Mail, it’s a paper which champions women’s rights.