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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think less of dh because he voted for Brexit and reads The Daily Mail?

138 replies

Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:27

I know the Brexit vote was years ago but it really made me lose respect for dh. Obviously we've moved on, but he doesn't read a newspaper apart from the Mail online, is obsessed with tiktok and had no idea who the Archbishop of Canterbury was today. He's in his early 50s. I'm not a pretentious arse but I read a newspaper daily and have a pretty good grasp of politics. I'm beginning to feel as though we don't have much in common. We've been together for 30 years!

OP posts:
Firstmonthfree · 06/05/2023 21:35

How did you not know any of this??

msisfine · 06/05/2023 21:36

Reading the Daily Mail would be a deal breaker for me.

FLOWER1982 · 06/05/2023 21:37

Yanbu

hereiamagainn · 06/05/2023 21:37

Yeah that’d put me off somebody too.

Spirographcity · 06/05/2023 21:39

I couldn't get past Brexit. It would feel like I didn't know him at all.

HoldingTheDoor · 06/05/2023 21:39

I could not be with someone who voted for Brexit. That would be a definite deal breaker for me.

7Worfs · 06/05/2023 21:40

He’s in his 50s and on TikTok? Yikes.

HoldingTheDoor · 06/05/2023 21:40

I assume that he still thinks it was a good idea?

Ginnybaby · 06/05/2023 21:40

Agree op, you sound so much better than him, I don’t know how you can stomach being with him,

Clarinet1 · 06/05/2023 21:41

I would find the brexit support and Daily Mail reading pretty much a deal breaker; It would show that we were not enough on the same wavelength for a relationship to work.
When you say he didn’t know who the Archbishop of Canterbury was, do you mean he did not recognise the face or connect the function with the name Justin Welby? Or do you mean that he did not understand the role at all?

longwayoff · 06/05/2023 21:41

Definite LTB. What's taking you so long?

CharlottenBerg · 06/05/2023 21:42

HoldingTheDoor · 06/05/2023 21:39

I could not be with someone who voted for Brexit. That would be a definite deal breaker for me.

I said practically that to someone at work, and a woman who overheard got in a strop and practically shouted 'WE voted Leave!'. She doesn't talk to me now. I told DP that and he said 'Result!'.

WonkyHare · 06/05/2023 21:44

Maybe he thinks less of you because you did/do neither of those things.. does that feel nice?

I don't think you have to agree with everything someone does in order to love them..I mean what marriage would survive if you did?

You've spent 30 years with the man, you obviously love him..don't overthink yourself into throwing it all away over this. Real love is precious, and not easily come by.

Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:45

Firstmonthfree · 06/05/2023 21:35

How did you not know any of this??

What do you mean? We'd been together 20 years pre the Brexit vote. I had no idea he'd voted for Brexit until afterwards.

He didn't used to be this boring. We used to take the piss out of the DM. It's all happened in the last few years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:46

Ginnybaby · 06/05/2023 21:40

Agree op, you sound so much better than him, I don’t know how you can stomach being with him,

I'm not better than him. Just possibly not compatible any more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:47

HoldingTheDoor · 06/05/2023 21:40

I assume that he still thinks it was a good idea?

Tbf no he doesn't and regrets it.

OP posts:
MammaTo · 06/05/2023 21:49

I think regardless of where you fell in the vote I don’t think I could get along with someone who didn’t have the same political views as me, to me how you vote is a direct correlation to your personality and morals.
Id find it very tricky OP I feel for you, all the new social media et tik tok makes people feel included in something bigger then them and they will have content directly tailored to their beliefs pushed to them, therefore strengthening his beliefs because all he see’s is videos or tweets etc off people who agree with him.

User1264876 · 06/05/2023 21:51

Probably reads the mail because it's free, a lot of MN read the mail, they say they don't but they always know what's in it and come on here and moan about it.

Yogazmum · 06/05/2023 21:52

Jeez, i would be gutted! The DM is vile homophonic racist right wing clap trap. I wouldn’t even let it grace the walls of my log burner! As for Brexit… have you discussed why he voted Leave? If he can come back at you with rational reason and can offer you answers to how it’s benefitted the U.K. then I would maybe be swayed to think he had some intelligence.
But otherwise I would definitely lose a lot of respect and see him in a totally different light.

Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:52

User1264876 · 06/05/2023 21:51

Probably reads the mail because it's free, a lot of MN read the mail, they say they don't but they always know what's in it and come on here and moan about it.

Yeah maybe. I read the Guardian for the same reason.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pineda · 06/05/2023 21:53

I wonder if he's a bit depressed. He's definitely more of a misery guts these days and is addicted to his phone. Its fucking depressing.

OP posts:
PennineWay · 06/05/2023 21:53

Hard to find compatibility in a married couple where one is a Guardian reader and one voted Brexit and reads the Daily Mail.

Do you argue a lot or do you find you balance each other out?

User1264876 · 06/05/2023 21:53

I read all the free papers, not every day but sometimes, I also read the free magazines on Amazon Prime

User1264876 · 06/05/2023 21:57

Isn't TikTok for teens.

Rainbow1901 · 06/05/2023 21:58

No hope for me then I read the Daily Mail, Daily Express and The Guardian!! DH doesn't read any papers but is a keen watcher of the daily news so keeps abreast of day to day stuff that way. We will often discuss articles I've seen or he's watched. It's interesting to see how the papers and the news channels perceive the news and the stand they take. They are not always impartial!
How we vote is an individual choice it does not have to be a deal breaker!