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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I gave up waiting in A&E

206 replies

Saltandpepperchipss · 05/05/2023 23:00

Been in terrible pain for 2 days I’m pretty sure it’s an ectopic pregnancy by going of my symptoms. Excruciating pain on one side, headaches and light bleeding.My local hospital is one of the worst and try not to use it if possible. I sat in A&E for 5 hours and eventually gave in. Tons of people coughing, rock hard chair when I’m in tons of pain isn’t nice. I couldn’t get up to go to the toilet because my seat would be taken.

I’m terrified something will happen to me over night. But at least I’m comfortable at home.

AIBU? Would you have waited? Some people had been there since 1 in the afternoon. I arrived at 5:30.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 06/05/2023 08:33

If you need a and e you stay. Otherwise you didn't need it in the first place.

MojacaSunset · 06/05/2023 08:34

Yes you should have waited if you could have an ectopic.
I know how bad A&E is, I recently spent 36 hours waiting there with my father, it was hell but there was no other option.
I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy.
Dad was lucky, he got a trolly after 36 hours on a chair, it took another 16 to get to a ward.
The system is broken.

Gettingbysomehow · 06/05/2023 08:35

I feel enraged by your actions. I waited 10 hours recently when I had a DVT and I was in terrible pain. I had to sit on the floor the whole time and I'm in my 60s. You do know that you can bleed to death from an ectopic and get peritoneal sepsis Nd die of that. But hey at least you're comfortable. I just hope you haven't got any kids who will be motherless.

GoodChat · 06/05/2023 08:35

MojacaSunset · 06/05/2023 08:34

Yes you should have waited if you could have an ectopic.
I know how bad A&E is, I recently spent 36 hours waiting there with my father, it was hell but there was no other option.
I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy.
Dad was lucky, he got a trolly after 36 hours on a chair, it took another 16 to get to a ward.
The system is broken.

36 hours is disgusting.

Username0987 · 06/05/2023 08:35

I waited 9 hours recently with my Mum in A&E, she had a suspected blood clot in her leg. She wanted to go home after waiting about 4 hours but I persuaded her to stay.

A poster mentioned having a hospital bag ready, I think that's a really good idea particularly if you have children and / or elderly relatives.

You really should go back to get checked out op. Good luck.

Original poster
Saltandpepperchipss · 06/05/2023 08:38

I travelled to my old hometown 6 in the morning an hour way and was seen right away. I am having an ectopic.

Havent read all the comments but I couldn’t sit in there. I was bleeding very uncomfortable I couldn’t even have gone to change my pad because my seat would have been gone. I would have been standing all night.

OP posts:
ZoeQ90 · 06/05/2023 08:39

Floribundaflummery · 06/05/2023 08:13

OP I hope you are being seen by a doctor and are OK. Please call an ambulance and get someone to be with you, you shouldn’t be alone.

It is really frightening to need the NHS now in an emergency. I do think it has been misused by some (stomach pain for last month for example) and that is one of the reasons apart from funding, staffing etc it is broken.

I really don’t understand why when people know how terrible it is they don’t go prepared. Why do so many PP say “their dietary needs were not met”, “no food or drink was provided”. Unless you have gone in from the street unconscious by ambulance, most people can fill a bottle with water and grab some food, blanket, pillow. The staff could do with some of the public helping themselves as much as they are able. They are massively struggling too.

People don't go prepared because oddly you're not always thinking properly in an emergency or maybe haven't had to think about the practicalities. I knew a&e waits were bad when I went but I'd just not thought through the practicalities of being stuck in one uncomfortable room for 12+ hours, I was too upset to be losing my pregnancy, worried about the physical aspects and struggling mentally.

GoodChat · 06/05/2023 08:40

Saltandpepperchipss · 06/05/2023 08:38

I travelled to my old hometown 6 in the morning an hour way and was seen right away. I am having an ectopic.

Havent read all the comments but I couldn’t sit in there. I was bleeding very uncomfortable I couldn’t even have gone to change my pad because my seat would have been gone. I would have been standing all night.

I'm so sorry. I'm glad you've been seen but sorry you're going through this. I hope they're taking good care of you Flowers

VivaLesTartes · 06/05/2023 08:41

So sorry you are having an ectopic but relieved you are now being seen xx

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 06/05/2023 08:48

I'm so sorry, you're hopefully in the best hands now x

mysparkleismissing · 06/05/2023 08:48

Glad you've been seen. X

Tarantullah · 06/05/2023 08:53

Saltandpepperchipss · 06/05/2023 08:38

I travelled to my old hometown 6 in the morning an hour way and was seen right away. I am having an ectopic.

Havent read all the comments but I couldn’t sit in there. I was bleeding very uncomfortable I couldn’t even have gone to change my pad because my seat would have been gone. I would have been standing all night.

Sorry to hear this OP, glad you've now been seen and are being cared for though x

Florenz · 06/05/2023 08:53

A&E is a nightmare on a Friday and Saturday night, full of drunkards and derelicts. It's been like that for some time, maybe it's worse now I don't know.

Bloopsie · 06/05/2023 08:55

Bunnyhair · 06/05/2023 07:52

When posters ask ‘why didn’t you go to the GP?’ I always wonder what civilised foreign country they must be writing from.

Pointless in the uk, they dont do fast bloodtests or scans at the go surgeries

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 06/05/2023 08:55

Saltandpepperchipss · 06/05/2023 08:38

I travelled to my old hometown 6 in the morning an hour way and was seen right away. I am having an ectopic.

Havent read all the comments but I couldn’t sit in there. I was bleeding very uncomfortable I couldn’t even have gone to change my pad because my seat would have been gone. I would have been standing all night.

I am so sorry Flowers
if you feel able to, do complain. I know they are over stretched but having complaints like yours must surely make a difference

Tarantullah · 06/05/2023 08:56

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:15

Well not quite when my son collapsed st home as I stated upthread he was taken by ambulance straight through to resus,because he needed to be seen immediately his early warning scores were at the highest levels ,he was stabilised and was in intensive care within an hour
There was no waiting too be triarged

Show quote history

Ffs if you can't see the difference between someone being handed over by the ambulance service and someone who has to sit in a waiting room to be triaged then that's ridiculous.

Tarantullah · 06/05/2023 08:59

Changeling78 · 06/05/2023 07:10

I honestly don’t understand people that leave a&e because they can’t be bothered to wait. I was sat in a&e from 10pm to 9am (when I was sent for mri then emergency surgery) and watched so many enter, and then leave because the wait is too long. If you think you have an ectopic pregnancy, you stay, uncomfortable or not, long wait or not. You waited only 5 hours which is shit I know, but you were in the right place if you are having an ectopic pregnancy.

The sick irony I suppose is that those who are very very unwell often find the wait on rock hard chairs agony and in that moment make decisions based on "I literally cannot cope anymore".

BusyBushBaby · 06/05/2023 08:59

Sorry for your loss, glad that nothing ruptured overnight and that you are now getting medical care.

Theluggage15 · 06/05/2023 09:00

I don’t know why people are being nasty to the OP, she’s not the problem, the useless system is. And the ‘why didn’t you see your GP’ comments, give me strength.

Glad you got seen OP, sorry it’s an ectopic.

lljkk · 06/05/2023 09:03

Very glad you were seen now.

5+ hours on a Friday night probably isn't so unusual.

The people who were waiting 1pm to 10:30pm, what were they in for?

Halli2020 · 06/05/2023 09:03

OP please take of yourself. Whether this is treated with surgery or methotrexate injection you need to look after yourself and rest, as it will be a hard recovering physically and mentally. Sending love to you 🌹you will in time be OK even if it doesn't feel that way now.

LadyKenya · 06/05/2023 09:10

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 06/05/2023 08:55

I am so sorry Flowers
if you feel able to, do complain. I know they are over stretched but having complaints like yours must surely make a difference

Show quote history

If you have any complaints to make, take it to the ballot box. Imagine if everybody who had to wait x amount of hours all put in complaints to overworked staff, who have no power, and are run off their feet. Vote wisely is my suggestion.

kagerou · 06/05/2023 09:13

I'm so sorry this is happening to you , I voted YABU because obviously it's safer for an ectopic to rupture in a hospital waiting room than at home or in the car to go elsewhere but I totally understand why you did it

I think anyone waiting in thar much pain would consider doing the same and obviously you aren't at your most rational after 5 hours of agony

I'm glad you're being cared for now and hate to think how many other people with life threatening conditions are being forced to choose between intolerable waiting conditions and risking their lives

ShakespeareInTurmoil · 06/05/2023 09:15

Yes, you were unreasonable to leave.

I had to wait around some 27 hours at A&E in December with my father. It takes a long, long time.

3luckystars · 06/05/2023 09:17

You poor thing. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that on top of an already awful situation.

I feel sorry for all the patients and all the staff at A and E. it’s really a sad state of affairs right now.