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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I gave up waiting in A&E

206 replies

Saltandpepperchipss · 05/05/2023 23:00

Been in terrible pain for 2 days I’m pretty sure it’s an ectopic pregnancy by going of my symptoms. Excruciating pain on one side, headaches and light bleeding.My local hospital is one of the worst and try not to use it if possible. I sat in A&E for 5 hours and eventually gave in. Tons of people coughing, rock hard chair when I’m in tons of pain isn’t nice. I couldn’t get up to go to the toilet because my seat would be taken.

I’m terrified something will happen to me over night. But at least I’m comfortable at home.

AIBU? Would you have waited? Some people had been there since 1 in the afternoon. I arrived at 5:30.

OP posts:
OlympicProcrastinator · 06/05/2023 07:52

So many unsympathetic arseholes on here. When my ectopic ruptured I would have happily died somewhere comfortably as opposed to waiting in A and E it was so painful. People have their limits and it doesn’t mean they aren’t sick enough to be there. Everyone has different limits.

No you’re not unreasonable OP but it’s important to go back. Take some things to make you more comfortable. I see another poster suggested contacting the EPU and I actually think that’s better advice as they will triage you there. Best of luck and solidarity.

labamba007 · 06/05/2023 07:55

These people that say if you were that ill you should've waited, have you ever sat in a hard chair, bright lights for hours when you're in so much pain? It's horrific. It's easy to say but until you're in that situation you can't understand.

Zireael · 06/05/2023 07:57

EllandRd · 05/05/2023 23:06

Why did you not go earlier in the day or get a GP appointment whilst they were still open?

There is nothing the GP could have done if it was an ectopic pregnancy - they would have immediately advised A&E. Might have given a supporting letter to take, which might have made a difference at A&E in terms of getting seen quicker

88milesanhour · 06/05/2023 07:58

If it's an ectopic and ruptures (which it inevitibly will do eventually) you might bleed to death in minutes. You absolutely need to be in hospital. You can call 111 but if they have any sense they'll send tou straight to A and E anyway, likewise if you manage to see your GP. If you're in this level of pain then the only safe thing to do is wait in A and E. It's annoying waiting in A and E but if you're there it's because you genuinely need seeing urgently. It's absolutely ridiculous to base that on how long you can be arsed to wait IMO. You're either urgently poorly or you're not

ThreeLocusts · 06/05/2023 07:58

OP sorry about all the mean posts, and that you're in pain - are you OK?

LoveTheDramaMick · 06/05/2023 07:58

This thread is horrible to read, so many absolute robots with zero compassion making dickhead comments as if they're the gatekeepers to A&E and you can only enter if you've got a severed limb or stopped breathing.

Unfortunately lack of GP services have driven more traffic to A&E and certain services in hospitals such as early pregnancy units don't open on weekends so OP is doubly unlucky. Really hope you're doing ok this morning OP, and that if you're still feeling the same you've made it back to hospital. Don't listen to anyone minimising, if it is an ectopic then it is serious.

Rainyrunway · 06/05/2023 08:05

See what I don't understand is what you're meant to do in this country with something that is absolutely a red flag but not an imminent - about to die at any minute emergency? Can't see a GP its emergency appointments only (which are already gone by the time you can get through on the phone) or book for 4 weeks time. And that's if you're one of the lucky ones. Plenty don't actually offer that level of service. Urgent care send you either to A and E or back to your GP who you can't see anyway, and then people seem to think if you're conscious and your legs haven't fallen off you're not ill enough for A and E. Seriously. What are people meant to do? A friend has been having breathlessness for YEARS. Kept getting fobbed off by GP, told she didn't need A and E is it wasn't an emergency. Turns out she has cancer. Which should have been picked up 2 years ago. And honestly I don't think this is unusual at all

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:05

LoveTheDramaMick · 06/05/2023 07:58

This thread is horrible to read, so many absolute robots with zero compassion making dickhead comments as if they're the gatekeepers to A&E and you can only enter if you've got a severed limb or stopped breathing.

Unfortunately lack of GP services have driven more traffic to A&E and certain services in hospitals such as early pregnancy units don't open on weekends so OP is doubly unlucky. Really hope you're doing ok this morning OP, and that if you're still feeling the same you've made it back to hospital. Don't listen to anyone minimising, if it is an ectopic then it is serious.

Of course but unfortunately for those who are not in immediate need of attention than there is often a long wait .

Brittl · 06/05/2023 08:06

YANBU but you need to go get seen. I can't believe how bitchy some mners are sitting in a hard plastic chair can be excruciating. A&E waiting dont offer any pain relief. I would bring a cushion and blanket next time.

88milesanhour · 06/05/2023 08:06

LoveTheDramaMick · 06/05/2023 07:58

This thread is horrible to read, so many absolute robots with zero compassion making dickhead comments as if they're the gatekeepers to A&E and you can only enter if you've got a severed limb or stopped breathing.

Unfortunately lack of GP services have driven more traffic to A&E and certain services in hospitals such as early pregnancy units don't open on weekends so OP is doubly unlucky. Really hope you're doing ok this morning OP, and that if you're still feeling the same you've made it back to hospital. Don't listen to anyone minimising, if it is an ectopic then it is serious.

The majority of posts are simply worried that she isn't in A and E. What are people meant to do? Tell her to go home with a hot waterbottle and hope she isn't found dead the next morning?

I'm afraid when healthcare services are in such dire straits you do have to exercise a bit of common sense and self-preservation. Most people realise that it's more logical to wait somewhere where there's someone who'll look after them if they become more poorly and can advise them on the situation rather than come home and take advice from randomers on the internet about a potentially life threatening condition...

VivaLesTartes · 06/05/2023 08:08

YABU ectopic pregnancy is very serious. Trust me I was in hospital for 5 days and all I had was the shoulder tip pain but Drs could not rule it out. Multiple tests and scans. Refused to let me go home until I had keyhole surgery to fully rule it out, even then had to go back for scans and tests for weeks after until they were sure. My local A and E is also very busy and spent ages in the waiting room but the DRs would not have kept me in if the risk wasn't so serious.

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:08

labamba007 · 06/05/2023 07:55

These people that say if you were that ill you should've waited, have you ever sat in a hard chair, bright lights for hours when you're in so much pain? It's horrific. It's easy to say but until you're in that situation you can't understand.

It is but is better than the alternative isn't it?

Brittl · 06/05/2023 08:09

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:05

Of course but unfortunately for those who are not in immediate need of attention than there is often a long wait .

Show quote history

Bullshit you don't get a set of basic observations news2 taken until seen by the triage nurse which there is a massive queue. You could be gravely ill waiting to be triaged that's the state of the NHS.

Straightsidedcircle · 06/05/2023 08:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Floribundaflummery · 06/05/2023 08:13

OP I hope you are being seen by a doctor and are OK. Please call an ambulance and get someone to be with you, you shouldn’t be alone.

It is really frightening to need the NHS now in an emergency. I do think it has been misused by some (stomach pain for last month for example) and that is one of the reasons apart from funding, staffing etc it is broken.

I really don’t understand why when people know how terrible it is they don’t go prepared. Why do so many PP say “their dietary needs were not met”, “no food or drink was provided”. Unless you have gone in from the street unconscious by ambulance, most people can fill a bottle with water and grab some food, blanket, pillow. The staff could do with some of the public helping themselves as much as they are able. They are massively struggling too.

LadyKenya · 06/05/2023 08:15

I had to wait for 12 hours in A&E once. It was not fun, but if you go to A&E you must already be in quite a bad way. You should have waited, if you suspect an ectopic.

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:15

Brittl · 06/05/2023 08:09

Bullshit you don't get a set of basic observations news2 taken until seen by the triage nurse which there is a massive queue. You could be gravely ill waiting to be triaged that's the state of the NHS.

Show quote history

Well not quite when my son collapsed st home as I stated upthread he was taken by ambulance straight through to resus,because he needed to be seen immediately his early warning scores were at the highest levels ,he was stabilised and was in intensive care within an hour
There was no waiting too be triarged

Brittl · 06/05/2023 08:16

OP take pillow and blanket. Also take paracetamol while you are waiting as pain relief isn't offered in A&E until you go through . Tell them you have taken it.

maddening · 06/05/2023 08:18

I would make an appointment with ooo gp via 111 and they can refer to epu

Brittl · 06/05/2023 08:18

x2boys · 06/05/2023 08:15

Well not quite when my son collapsed st home as I stated upthread he was taken by ambulance straight through to resus,because he needed to be seen immediately his early warning scores were at the highest levels ,he was stabilised and was in intensive care within an hour
There was no waiting too be triarged

Show quote history

Because you rang an ambulance so the paramedics would do the observations to handover. If you turn up at A&E you wait your turn but then it could take ages for an ambulance to come out. Its catch 22.

maddening · 06/05/2023 08:19

Ps ooo gp is usually based by a&e but at least you have an appointment time and they can get you to right people also.

CornishGem1975 · 06/05/2023 08:21

There is nothing the GP could have done if it was an ectopic pregnancy - they would have immediately advised A&E. Might have given a supporting letter to take, which might have made a difference at A&E in terms of getting seen quicker

My GP sent to me to A&E, and I was sent with a letter to hand to reception. I was triaged pretty much straightaway. I think when you've been referred by GP you do get seen quicker.

LadyKenya · 06/05/2023 08:22

labamba007 · 06/05/2023 07:55

These people that say if you were that ill you should've waited, have you ever sat in a hard chair, bright lights for hours when you're in so much pain? It's horrific. It's easy to say but until you're in that situation you can't understand.

Yes, I did, for 12 hours. It was not a fun day. The state of the NHS is shocking, but I was very unwell, and would not rock up there for nothing. What is the alternative, stay at home, and deteriorate, or even die in some cases?

CornishGem1975 · 06/05/2023 08:23

But also, I had to go to A&E (pregnancy-related, at about 5 weeks) and I was taken straight to the EPU. No A&E wait. I'd advise calling community midwives.

Emeraldrings · 06/05/2023 08:28

Hope you're okay OP. You might think people are being mean and unsupportive but they are right. You either need A&E or early assessment pregnancy unit.
I'm hoping the lack of response is because you are back in hospital and hopefully have been seen by a doctor.