Is this morally wrong?

[dadsnethelp]

I am fairly good friends with a guy, our kids play together and I go out at work with him often (runs his own business) and we socialise once in a while and keep in touch.

He and his partner (his children's mum) split 8 years ago. My friend seems over it, they get along fine and he doesn't speak much about her, life seems to have moved on.

I was not friends with him when they were together. A few months ago his ex partner added me on instagram, I find her extremely physically attractive. One night a few weeks ago she sent me a highly sexual message, making it pretty clear she is interested in me sexually. We have messaged a bit back and forth. I asked what her ex, my friend would think about this and she replied that it's none of his business and she won't be telling. We have been planning when to meet.

I really want to, and I know it's a purely sexual thing. That's all I want and the way she is presenting it, it seems to be all she wants. Nothing relationship wise will come of it, so I suppose there's no risk of anyone finding out.

I just feel like I'm doing something wrong but then I think well he has slept with others and had other girlfriends since they split. He is over her, it was 8 years ago.

If I do this is it okay? Or morally, even if he is over her, is it wrong?

Start thinking with your head instead of your dick? Maybe she’s in the market for another baby, you could be the lucky guy 😂

I don't understand how you even know each other. I don't think it's morally wrong but of all the women in the world, it was your friend's ex who randomly propositioned you.

If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I have always believed there is a friend code which is that you don't date or shag a friend's ex. And I would be very suspicious of her motives.....out of all the blokes in the country, she specifically wants to shag you? Why?

And out of all the women in the country you specifically want to shag your friends ex? Why?

How desperately.sad that you can't find another person but your friends ex and the mother of your friends kids.

Morally wrong and lacking any self respect and respect for your friend and their kids

You meant to say, "not what I wanted to hear". Fixed your comment.

I doubt it. They've been split up 8
YEARS

Mate, this is the mother of your friend's children. Just ask him, if he's unhappy with it then your friendship will be ruined.

Here's the real test. You tell him you're in contact and have been flirting with eachother online and planning to meet for casual sex. Then you go ahead and do it. But you won't, will you? Because you know he'll think you're deceitful and untrustworthy and won't speak to you again. And the reason you won't is because your conscience knows that you wouldn't like it if a so called friend did this to you.

You know the answer already, it's a big fat NO.

You're just hoping to come on here and get a bunch of strangers to give you a pass to be a douchebag to your friend. If you value the friendship then end the flirting immediately, you're already crossing the line.

If the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel, put yourself in your friend's position and stop being so selfish.

And you don't think she'd still use his mate to get back at him after 8 years?

This is a straight up shitty thing to do.

I was not friends with him when they were together. A few months ago his ex partner added me on instagram,

How does she know you?

I think you should just give him the heads up about what's happening.

Morality is set by the values and ethics one holds. What are yours and does this suit comfortably with you.

What @Zoopadee said.

There are plenty of women out there. Choose another one.

I think it was just a random add on instagram

I second that ick and raise you an urrghh (shudders)
What a prince.

I’d tell the friend that his ex contacted you and has suggested a FWB type deal. You don’t need his permission or anything misogynist like that. It’s more if things turn sour with her, she would have plenty of ammunition to destroy your friendship. So if you value your friendship, he needs to be in the know.

There are certain lines you don’t cross.

Having or trying to have sex with your friends ex is definitely one of them.

Why not go on tinder and find someone else instead.

Also, you don't know what can of worms is being opened here. It all feels deliberate from her side, friending you up, propositioning you. Maybe there was a conversation about what a good friend you are.... maybe your friend slept with one of her friends and it caused issues. Who knows. What if she gets pregnant, no matter how cautious you are?

It was not a random add, get real!

If it feels wrong it’s wrong.

To be fair, she's trying to have sex with me. And I want to as she's basically offering it up on a plate and I find her very attractive.

It's a trap!