Council House advice

[Akkhan94]

Hope everyone is well. I am a Mommy of a ACC baby . It means Agenisis of the corpus collosum. My son is a bit delayed in development. He is going to be 4 in August and I am struggling with his potty training. If you look at him he seems perfectly normal but living with him is a story for another day . Anyway we live with my inlaws and my son finds it hard coping. When my family (my inlaws have a large family ) come over , he can't tolerate it . He starts crying and screaming, banging doors and throwing toys and becomes very upset. He needs his own place. My husband can't afford a house and I don't work, I am a SAHM to two boys. We have applied for social housing but I'm currently on position 105 200 on flats , and on houses its in 400s and 300s. Could anyone advise us how to go up the band ? We are on band c and we really need the house 🏡

If you were lucky enough to get a house or flat then how would you afford it if you are struggling now with zero rent and housing costs?
If you are considering mainstream school then your DH should be able to manage your DC. Does he not feel excluded from family life?
Your In-Laws possibly rely on your DH's income, in which case it would make sense for your BIL to find a place of his own? What will happen if he has a family in the future?

What are tuition bills? Surely any sort of private education should be stopped as housing is a priority.

If nobody can handle your son apart from you, does he have an EHC plan in place, @Akkhan94 ? I would say this is a matter of huge priory for September.

OP I’m sorry you are getting a hard time on here. I don’t think a lot of the PP understand the realities of having a child with special needs. It’s completely understandable that you’re not able to work just yet.

As for housing, yes homeless children need a suitable place to live. But so does your child, and you’re only personally responsible for him.

(The government, should be doing far more to make sure everyone has access to affordable housing if they need it, but unless you’ve forgotten to mention that you’re an MP, that’s not something you can change).

Speak to Shelter, email your MP, and keep pestering your local council about meeting your child’s needs. It may be worth exploring the option of having your family write a letter stipulating that your relationship is breaking down living together and you need to be housed elsewhere. Sometimes it really is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. Good luck

Depending on the O p,s LA,they might all come under one register anyway they do where I live

Op I have severely autistic child,we were lucky in that we got a housing association house when there's were a few more available in my l a
we could really do with with another bedroom but that's not going to happen anytime soon disability or not
have you had an OT,assessment regarding your sons need ,s?
that might helps bit with priority ?

Unfortunately there is way too much demand for council homes and it can take a long time to get one.

I was homeless and in temporary accommodation which was a 1 bed studio that me and my DD shared and it took years to be accepted for a council home even though I was applying for anything.

You can look on the banding requirements and see if you should be moved up but unfortunately there are no shortcuts.

You can apply for other councils but you’ll still be in the same position and you’ll probably be lower down.

Band C is very good but there will be thousands of others on the same one.

The only thing I can think is if you get an evening and weekend job so you’re both bringing in a decent income and then look into buying which is usually cheaper than privately renting.

Thank u ❤️

Mine also didn’t take special needs or disabilities into account unless they couldn’t walk and you lived in a flat with no stairs etc.

What you’ve said probably won’t help you get one any sooner.

Yes you are right . I didn't realise how busy it would be but if 600 people are bidding on one house , it must be crowded.

I'm on band b which means temporary accommodation or homeless and I live in a one bed flat I was in a hostel your husband won't be allowed to stay thats emergancy accommodation. Most people get dirty b&bs. It's a waiting game no sneaky ways through unfortunately x

ypu have my sympathy's the systems shit c

I don't think they realise not everything is black and white for everyone. And my husband is doing best he can , my inlaws are trying too , I am too but it does get hard and it's not as simple as it looks .

I’ve privately messaged you

I pray you get housed soon . It is hard .❤️

Hi Op @Akkhan94

You’ve had a hard time on here. Ignore any unhelpful responses.

Does your son get DLA? If not apply - you can then get carers allowance and UC to top up your husbands wages - you won’t be expected to work if you’re a carer. You can then rent and get most or all of your rent paid . When your son is settled in school you could look at working, if you want to alongside caring responsibilities

Good luck

If the people you are living with kick you out, you will be homeless and they will place you in temp accommodation. That’s how most people in a similar situation do it.

No I haven't applied for that yet . I need to look into that . 🙂

Oh OK..are you still waiting to be housed ? ❤️

Are you claiming DLA for your son and carers allowance for you?

OP I don’t have specialist housing advice but please get your husband to step up and learn how to help your child. I know it’s hard and currently only you can manage his behaviour. But if something happened to you, your husband would have to cope. Whether he has a job or not, he created his child and has a duty to care for him.

I worry about the pressure on you. It’s exhausting that it all falls to you. And you are also having to do much of the cooking and cleaning yourself. You will burn out if you don’t share this load.

Currently your son depends on you only. That’s not healthy for any of you. It’s too easy for your husband to give up and let you deal with meltdowns alone. He simply has to keep on trying. Is it out of the question for you to go out one evening so he has to step up?

Oh and I am from a similar background with lots of Khans in the family. The posters’ responses to you were pretty standard for this kind of thread and you accused them of racism. That’s not on at all.

Approx 26000 on the waiting list in Birmingham. Ukrainian refugees are currently being prioritised.
Please register with all housing associations you can.

Do you have an EHCP already in place? Have you liaised with the school about your son’s needs?

@MrsMiagi 26,000!!!!!! Wow!!

Op I think your chances are very slim! Why is Birmingham so attractive?

Be wary of people suggesting your in-laws kick you out. If your in-laws kick you out, the council should put you in temporary accommodation but that would be worse than your current situation from the sounds of it

I'm shocked at some of the replies. Lots of mumsnetters have no idea how hard it us to get somewhere to live on a low income. The lack of social housing and affordable rental properties is an absolute crisis.
If the father struggles to cope with a child with special needs, then thank goodness the mother is able to.

OP I think you need to go down to the offices of your local housing department and book an appointment to speak to an advisor. They can give you a list of other housing opportunities.

If you are struggling financially, speak to your husband about paying less to the mosque. Also, are the tuition fees something you can reduce??

I don't know what that is but I have told the school.