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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thrown under the bus at work

269 replies

Ceci03 · 05/05/2023 13:39

So am I being over sensitive. I'll try to make it short. Started new job end Jan. It's been hard learning new software and processes mostly left to my own devices. Little to zero training. Expected to pick things up from others on the team when they are v busy.

Anyway am on leave today but forgot to turn off my teams notifications. A colleague put up a very long message basically explaining to everyone (everyone is on this chat even people not in our team and all the managers) that I made a mistake. She adds a screenshot where I said I would do something but forgot . She explains how she is sorting it out. Which would take her a couple of minutes. It would
Have taken her longer to write out the essay/message on teams than fix it for today and message me privately so I can finish sorting it or talk to me on Tuesday.
I'm so upset. And obviously morto . I made a mistake and I'm sorry of course and I want to fix it. It's not a major thing it's easily sorted I'll just do it first thing on Tues and apologize.
Nobody has commented or replied to her message which makes me wonder are they a bit wtf has she written all
That out on teams. I'm hoping the rest of the team know me enough to know I try v hard and want to do a good job.
I thought this person was a friend. I would never do that. Put it so public and screenshot it .
Aibu

OP posts:
primoseyellow · 05/05/2023 14:47

@Maraudingmarauders That makes it sound like making errors is and will be a regular occurrence .

I would keep a dignified silence , other people will be thinking what a petty thing to do. She is shooting herself in the foot.

Mariposista · 05/05/2023 14:51

Kyse · 05/05/2023 13:47

Yeah that's shit
If it happens at my work we screenshot it, ping it over to the person directly and say "hey, spotted this, I've fixed it for you, just so you know for next time"

Which is the MATURE way to deal with things. Sadly, immature bitchy women at work just love making their colleagues look shit. I have been on the receiving end of similar.

Mooshamoo · 05/05/2023 14:51

People call out mistakes on my team chat all the time.

If the mistake has to be fixed it has to be talked about.

Teams chats can be harsh. And it often looks worse than it is. Or than the person meant. So she might just be thinking "I need to fix this to get the job dkne". But it leaves you feeling "she intended to embarrass me in front of a hundred people"

I was once so upset over something that someone said to me in a teams, that I left the job!

My manager told me that I needed to be more resilient. And she was right really. Teams chats can really hurt as things are said in front of hundreds of people.

BeverlyHa · 05/05/2023 14:52

This is horrible. I keep seeing this happening in England. As a foreign lady i always thought here everything is democratic, people inclusive, morals high etc.....LOL. Wherever you go, people only backbite ????

Blackbyrd · 05/05/2023 14:52

I would respond today, or else this will play on your mind and spoil your weekend. Let it play on hers instead. Just thank her for letting everyone know and for how appreciative you are of her "team player" attitude. Insincere apology etc., and then let her stew

Mooshamoo · 05/05/2023 14:54

But if someone making a mistake has caused a delay in the task being done, surely it needs to be talked about in the team chat?

Like mistakes have to be talked about, if something needs to be done.

Deadpalm · 05/05/2023 14:54

Ceci03 · 05/05/2023 13:48

No nobody needed to know.

Would you just ignore it and move on.

I'm tempted to tell one of the managers I was upset. But is that being a "drama queen"

Tell them. I am surprised they haven't said anything yet. Someone tried to throw me under the bus publicly for mkstake they believed I made. I didn't, they misread. It was immediately addressed by 2 managers. Very unprofessional

Nevermind31 · 05/05/2023 14:55

Take a screen shot and complain to a manager.
it’s Unprofessional, verges on bullying, def public humiliation and should be nipped in the bud.

LeatherSkirt82 · 05/05/2023 14:55

If this was indeed a minor thing and you are not making these kind of mistakes/oversights frequently - I'd actually be more concerned about her as an employee than you. As a manager - I'd consider naming/shaming she just did to be of potentially serious impact to company morale (because how many people who saw this will now feel frightened that if they make a mistake - they'll be named and shamed like you) and would have a very serious conversation with you. I would reach out to you as well, but only to check if you're ok, assure you that this is not the way we do things and offer support if you feel it could help re: oversight.

LeatherSkirt82 · 05/05/2023 14:56

Sorry - would have a very serious conversation with HER! Not you.

lljkk · 05/05/2023 14:56

is it possible that she spent ages doing something that had to be redone (took ages again) because this matter (the mistake) wasn't sorted 1st, or that she was getting frustrated by another problem only to eventually find out she only wasted time because of the mistake-item which wasn't obvious & gave her mega-headache to figure out?

I am wondering why she made a big deal of a 3 minute task.

PortUmber · 05/05/2023 14:56

@Ceci03

I’d go for the resilience and dignified silence approach. It’s wrong, people are shit and try to outdo each other in all walks of life.

Your biggest come back is to rise above, be positive and look completely unscathed by her attack - and she’ll just look even
sillier.

Jericha · 05/05/2023 14:57

LeatherSkirt82 · 05/05/2023 14:55

If this was indeed a minor thing and you are not making these kind of mistakes/oversights frequently - I'd actually be more concerned about her as an employee than you. As a manager - I'd consider naming/shaming she just did to be of potentially serious impact to company morale (because how many people who saw this will now feel frightened that if they make a mistake - they'll be named and shamed like you) and would have a very serious conversation with you. I would reach out to you as well, but only to check if you're ok, assure you that this is not the way we do things and offer support if you feel it could help re: oversight.

I agree with all of this and would do the same

Deadpalm · 05/05/2023 14:58

Mooshamoo · 05/05/2023 14:46

I am on a similiar teams chat with a hundred people, and the managers on it.

People get called out for mistakes all the time. Not in a "look June made a fuck up" way.

People call out mistakes by saying things like "no June you did that procedure incorrectly, this needs to be added to it".

Sometimes mistakes do need to be called out, so they can be fixed.

I have seen people say on the teams chat stuff like "I've told you that three times now, you should know this by now".

I'd say its normal enough.

Sounds bit toxic tbh

Simianwalk · 05/05/2023 14:59

Ignore the posters dissing you for being naïve for finding friends at work. Two of my best mates are ex colleagues some from over 20 years ago!

MammaTo · 05/05/2023 14:59

Not being over sensitive at all, I hate people at work like this. Why couldn’t she just say to you directly you haven’t done XYZ but I’ve completed the task - you’d feel so grateful and would probably never make the mistake again.

I would message her privately but very very politely and CC your manager in too and explain thank you so much for rectifying this, I’m really grateful however if you have any issues please contact myself privately or my manager directly and manager can add it to a training plan or some buzz word nonsense that managers love and nip it in the bud.

Plus you know where you stand with this colleague now, don’t leave yourself open to her again.

TheKobayashiMaru · 05/05/2023 15:00

If you let her get away with this, she'll keep doing it. There was no need to let everyone know, we all make mistakes. A quiet word was all that was needed.

I'd screenshot the post and email your manager "Hi Manager, I saw Jane had posted about my error on Teams but copied in a number of people, some unrelated. I am always happy to receive feedback and constructive criticism however I expect this to be done professionally and discreetly, not in front of the wider team / colleagues."

LlynTegid · 05/05/2023 15:00

Unprofessional not to say something privately instead.

Regardless, unless you are using Teams for non-work purposes, you should not be looking at work things when on leave. Please don't fall into that trap as you will be taken advantage of (see plenty of threads where this has occurred).

YouWithoutEnd · 05/05/2023 15:03

Wow, that’s shady.

A good manager would already be taking her to task over this, hopefully you’ve got one of those!

I’d be very tempted to respond though;

”Hi Jane,

I’m assuming you meant to send this to me or Sally (line manager) directly, and something has gone awry with your distribution list 🙂

Happy to sort as soon as I return on Tuesday, shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

Thanks”.

OnTheBoardwalk · 05/05/2023 15:04

Another one to say ignore her and don’t respond, she's just after the attention

she's come across as a dick. What annoys me is that you are going to spend all BH weekend thinking about it and worrying, don’t give her the head space, turn your phone off and enjoy yourself

i've got a team member who's off and has missed something fairly substantial and who I know would log on and rectify. I ain’t going to contact them, cos I'm not a dick, it will just have to wait till next week

declutteringmymind · 05/05/2023 15:04

I'd screen shot and send a message to your manager: just seen this. I forgot to do this before I left for AL. Won't happen again, hopefully next time x will approach me or you directly, although I am grateful it's sorted.

Then say nothing.

ChairFloorWall · 05/05/2023 15:05

People will be judging her for doing that OP, she’s been totally unprofessional and sounds dickish. This won’t reflect badly on you try not to worry

NoTouch · 05/05/2023 15:06

If it could have waited until Monday with no impact reply -

Thanks! Guess you are having a quiet day! You really didn't have to as it wasn't time dependent, but that's one off my list for Monday! Do you want some more to do?

wait 2 mins, then post

Ooops sorry didn't realise this was to the whole department and more! 😲😳 Have a great weekend all.

TheOGCCL · 05/05/2023 15:09

I'd be really upset about this but I would ignore it as she is being a total drama queen and getting dragged into drama is exhausting and ultimately pointless. I would feel better in the long run not getting involved.

If I wanted to feel I wasn't completely letting it go, I'd diarise it along with any future incidents in case at some point I needed it.

Barleysugar86 · 05/05/2023 15:09

So we have one of these at my work. Everyone sort of rolls her eyes when she goes off on one, it's a bit of a running joke. She's good at her job but not a people person. Best thing you can do is be sweetness and light back in any communications - thanks for the heads up/ thumbs up.
I'm sure everyone else is wondering why she's bothering them with something they don't need to see and ignoring it. If she is wasting their time with things the name with the bad association will be hers, not yours and she'll get a negative reputation generally if she's seen as trying to disrupt things.