Thrown under the bus at work

[Ceci03]

So am I being over sensitive. I'll try to make it short. Started new job end Jan. It's been hard learning new software and processes mostly left to my own devices. Little to zero training. Expected to pick things up from others on the team when they are v busy.

Anyway am on leave today but forgot to turn off my teams notifications. A colleague put up a very long message basically explaining to everyone (everyone is on this chat even people not in our team and all the managers) that I made a mistake. She adds a screenshot where I said I would do something but forgot . She explains how she is sorting it out. Which would take her a couple of minutes. It would
Have taken her longer to write out the essay/message on teams than fix it for today and message me privately so I can finish sorting it or talk to me on Tuesday.
I'm so upset. And obviously morto . I made a mistake and I'm sorry of course and I want to fix it. It's not a major thing it's easily sorted I'll just do it first thing on Tues and apologize.
Nobody has commented or replied to her message which makes me wonder are they a bit wtf has she written all
That out on teams. I'm hoping the rest of the team know me enough to know I try v hard and want to do a good job.
I thought this person was a friend. I would never do that. Put it so public and screenshot it .
Aibu

I don't think you're being over sensitive to be upset by it as it was a definitely shitty thing for her to do; that being said I wouldn't bother raising it with a manager - really the only person she's made look bad is herself, so they're probably thinking the same thing - I would just 'rise above it'. For your part it was just an oversight, no big deal, everyone has them, so genuinely try and put it out of your mind and enjoy the weekend (but definitely be mindful of this person going forward as they've shown their colours here).

I would reply like this.

Everyone is thinking she's a twat, so worry not

OP

You can't ignore this. Her behaviour is completely unacceptable. You don't deserve this from anyone.

You do need to respond to this, she is getting out of hand. The fact that no one else has responded to her mail speaks volumes. Honestly- she is embarrassing herself.
Now, stop being upset, you need to take control of the situation.

Its often said - never reply to an email in anger. So you need to respond in an unemotional way.

I would reply with the following-

(Her Name), .I have seen your update on the (issue in question). I am an Annual leave today. We can address this as appropriate in person on Monday.
(Your Name).

Keep it professional, do not say sorry or thanks. If she replies to you on Teams ignore her. It will speak volumes.
Do not let her ruin your weekend. Everyone knows exactly what she is up to.

just ignore it. She looks petty, and response from you will look petty back.

she might’ve just not wanted anyone else who had noticed it hadn’t been done to think they have to pick it up- or someone else might’ve noticed and asked her to sort it.

I’m a manager and I would take this person aside and tell them it’s not the way to do things. It would mark them out as immature and hard work TBH. So don’t feel too mortified. It’s looks worse on her than you.

She has made an absolute ass of herself.

She's either really bitchy or just very thick and lacking social awareness.

I'd say everyone is thinking WTF is this woman on?
No need to rush to respond anyway. I'd stay silent for now.

This is about the sort of person she is, not about the sort of person you are.

You know what sort of person you are, and how you treat others.
Rest assured in that.

I think it says it all that no one has replied or responded. Make sure you screenshoot it all.

I'd let it go, but talk about it to your line manager and say you were a little taken aback by it being so new to the job, and are errors from new staff members usually dealt with like this?

She's just made herself look like a fanny, and everyone will be thinking 'what a snitch - I can't trust her'.
She was probably hoping for a 'thank God we've got you to save the day' type of reaction.
Fail

I really wouldn't be replying to any messages on my day off, otherwise you will give her the satisfaction to know she's achieved what she set out to, which was to get the best of you.

Take a step back and breath, gather your thoughts and you might see that until Tuesday you may be thinking differently about the whole situation. Never reply to anything on a hot head

@Ceci03 when you get back to work, you need to be on this right away.

Request a meeting with your Manager and put in a complaint about her conduct.

You've been there 3 months and are still in training. It is absolutely unacceptable for her to single out your mistake like this in front of everyone. It should have been sent discreetly to your trainer/line lead so they could give you additional support or training.

Don't let her get away with it. It's a form of bullying.

If you let it slide, you are giving her permission to start sending EVERY mistake you make to your bosses making you look unfit for the role while she is Miss Indispensable.

It is immature, manipulative and hostile. Use those words.

I think the silence of your other colleagues say a thousand words. I.e she is a sly, two faced cunt who should be held at arms length (or longer). Watch yourself with colleagues like this, OP. I would agree with the suggestion of screenshoting the chat for your own records. She has made herself look a fool trying to make herself look better by pointing out anothers minor mistake. She is not a team player and I'm sure your colleagues can see this now and will probably give her a wide berth at work.

Put a brief reply on teams. NOW
Say in the future she should contact you directly with any concerns before filling up everyone's team channels. If you don't slap her down now you will have a problem on your hands. Be brave.

So you have forgotten a task, it happens, we all do it. My manager does it all the time.

But conduct matters and hers leaves a lot to be desired. No one has replied as they are wondering what she will say about them.

apologise to your manager when you get back & move on. Just say you are aware that you had forgotten a task etc etc Don’t mention the Teams message or your colleagues name. Keep it professional & back off from your colleague.

I wouldn't be responding at all, if she has a habit of gas lighting keep your distance and stay focused on the issue not in it (justifying yourself) because that'll be her playground. If she's not your management ignore it. You'll sort it on Tuesday and it's no big deal. Turn off your computer and find something nice to do. Only petty people will give a crap about this message.

I wouldn't ignore it but I wouldn't deal with it until I was back at work. I'd also avoid a petty or loaded remark, it will be obvious to everyone that it bothered you.
Just something like Thank you colleague for amending this error.
And then just flag it to your manager - I didn't appreciate the way that colleague highlighted a simple error i had made to the rest of the team, I prefer to receive my feedback and training in person.

Dignified silence should be the way to go, but I’ve come to the conclusion that this gets you nowhere in life and you just get trampled on.
Instead I would respond to the teams message just like @SnarkyBag said.

This will reflect more on her than you

"Thank you for highlighting this to the whole team, good to hear you are able to sort this in my absence. @boss Name, can you book me in 15 minutes at your convenience on Monday to chat this message over"

Then just push the worry onto her.

I would reply with what you told us and copy in everyone she sent it to.

Sorry Jane, this was an oversight of mine and I’m sorry. I would have rectified this on Tuesday morning. Was there really a need to tell the entire company of my mistake? It would have taken you longer to type the message than fix the problem. Apologies once again, Enjoy the Coronation weekend. Thanks XXXXX

I'd probably do this and then never go out of my way for her ever again.
I wouldn't help her, I'd give the bare minimum of polite, professional communications, if I saw a massive mistake she's made, I'd keep quiet and let her fail.
I'm a great colleague generally, but make an enemy of me and I'll put the boot in at every opportunity.

You do need to respond to this

You do not need to respond to this. She's made herself look a twat and everybody will be siding with you. Anything you say won't make you look better but could take away that good will.

Dignified silence is the way.

We have one of these types. When they do shit like this they show their true colours. Ultra unprofessional. Obvious one-upmanship. Ignore her, speak to her manager.

I'd 10000% reply. I like what @seizethefish wrote.

I'd highlight that this didn't need to be sent out to everyone.

Don't let this affect you. She is the one who looks like a petty bitch!

Firstly shes not your friend and I would watch your back with her in future. She is trying to use your small mistake to elevate herself and people like that can't be trusted, There the ones who steal other people's ideas and claim credit,

You need to pull her up on this in a calm professional manner and I think brjce answer is the right one

(Her Name), .I have seen your update on the (issue in question). I am on Annual leave today. We can address this as appropriate in person on Monday.
(Your Name).

it's short and sweet, doesn't have you groveling in apology or dragged into her shenanigans, and makes it clear that she has behaved unprofessionally.

Do not allow her to undermine you like this, she set out to let everyone know in the teams chat that you had fucked up.

🐍 alert!!! She will also make your life hell if you try to call her out on this.

I would smile sweetly and keep her at arms length from now on. I think the phrase is give her enough rope to hang herself.

This is a hard lesson and I’ve been in your shoes, it hurts but you will get better at spotting the 🐍

I am on a similiar teams chat with a hundred people, and the managers on it.

People get called out for mistakes all the time. Not in a "look June made a fuck up" way.

People call out mistakes by saying things like "no June you did that procedure incorrectly, this needs to be added to it".

Sometimes mistakes do need to be called out, so they can be fixed.

I have seen people say on the teams chat stuff like "I've told you that three times now, you should know this by now".

I'd say its normal enough.