Depressed about weight but I am being ridiculous?!

[Hatmadhatter]

I know I am being unreasonable but I need the traffic and the support:(

I am 5’2 and weight 9st 8

clothes size :

coats - 8
dress 8 or 10
tops small or medium
jeans always 12 because I have a big bottom but then the they gape at the waist

I know this sounds like a stealth post but I promise it’s not

I know I am slim when you look at the numbers BUT I always feel short fat and frumpy ;(

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

I always put off buying nice new clothes because ‘I will lose weight soon’

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

so tired of feeling and living like this

any help or advice please ??

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

I appreciate what you are saying, I really do. I'm slightly taller but a little heavier but pretty much the same proportions, sizes, including the bigger bum 😜.

But, I think the key is what you posted at the end (in bold here). I felt like that before, and then I realised - I can't possibly look like these women as they are completely differently built, and they are probably jealous of women like us who have more 'substance'. I think the key is to love the way YOU look and find flattering clothes to YOUR figure, maybe do a colour analysis etc, and make sure you feel good in yourself XX

There is no point in trying to look like someone else when you can be you x

I'm 5'2 and 8 stone 8 lbs, and I know I need to lose a few kilos so I know exactly what you mean!!

Because I'm short I'd say I'm quite stocky so I'll never look slim.

I totally get where you're coming from! I am 5ft 4 and weigh 9 stone 9 and want to get down to 9 stone. I am a single mother and find it so hard to find time to do proper exercise, so just hating my body at the moment! However, we must remember that we feel like from years and years of being conditioned to think there was something wrong with our perfectly normal bodies. At the same time we should be happy with our bodies as they are, but the ridiculous beauty standards (kardashians, fillers, Botox etc etc) are getting worse! I find if I exercise and eat healthy I feel better in myself and don't care what a number on the scales says xxx but just to let you know you're not alone x

I'm almost exactly the same height and weight but a 12 on top and 8-10 on the bottom. I also feel short fat and frumpy, and at that weight we are at the top of the BMI healthy weight thing, aren't we? Or possibly slightly overweight. I also binge, exercise constantly and drink a lot of booze. But I do always try and dress really well, find the clothes that suit me and try and feel good about my own appearance. One good thing is that as I get older I care less about how I appear to others. I don't have anything useful to say really but just sending solidarity from a fellow shortarse.

Sounds like you need to look at body recomposition rather than weight loss. Do you exercise?

Get a grip...your weight is fine

Your weight is not the problem your mind is.

Therapy?

I'm not being rude, honestly if your thought patterns around a perfectly normal body are making you depressed, you perhaps need some help to reframe your thinking and build your self-esteem.

What the hell.

Stop comparing your self to media stereo types who in reality look nothing like those images which have been airbrushed and manipulated to look perfect. Those women have personal trainers, nutritionists, personal beauty hair and makeup stylists, designer clothes tailored to fit exactly and make the most of their figures. Stop looking at that crap and start finding ways to accept and make the most of the body you have or you will never be happy. Seek therapy for your body dysmorphia but just accept yourself as you sre and sccentuate your beat buts.

🙄

Competitive thinness is so tedious.

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

Well you also (presumably) don't have your own personal stylist, make up artist, health/ nutrition specialist, personal trainer, private healthcare and photoshop artist.

You do realise that literally everything you see of celebs is airbrushed don't you?

You are holding yourself to unrealistic standards.

It’s difficult when you are petite as the figures sound low, which bothers people who aren’t in the same range. I completely understand though, I’m wearing size 8/10 but overweight in bmi and have visible roles of fat. I’m really uncomfortable and down about my size, but use food as such a crutch emotionally and binge eat rubbish to cheer myself up about being overweight! (Make it make sense!) But it’s a cycle a lot of people go through.

weight loss is a physical health issue that is totally controlled by your mental health in approach. I need to find new emotional structures to aid my weight loss, but it feels like a big task that I don’t have the energy to focus on tackling at the moment.

I’m always seeing posts on Facebook of comparisons between celeb photos taken at the time and the photo that was eventually posted on social media. The differences are surprising.

I honestly can’t understand why you are unhappy! No advice here, think you need to build some self esteem. I honestly don’t mean it nastily, nothing wrong with your body size

you are a healthy weight, even the very top end of normal BMI is still a healthy weight, at any weight and especially at very low and very high BMI the nutritional balance can be wrong,
you are a pear shape , even if you lost 5kg you would still be pear shaped maybe size 6/8 top and 10 bottom, it is not possible to lose weight just in certain areas without others ( annoying but true) there are lots of naturally beautiful pear shaped women and styles that suit them, you can't live for a fantasy self
do not speak to yourself in a voice or with words you wouldn't use to a friend
do not spoil today for the illusion or delusion of a perfect tomorrow/ next month / next year

Have you considered getting your jeans altered to fit better, OP? Dry Cleaners often offer this service or you can learn using the Levi’s video on how to do it yourself: https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjLpeXV8N3-AhUbi1wKHd70D-kQFnoECAwQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Del6Rxwk0LU0&usg=AOvVaw2UY9TB0heSDX18FPvfuUqi
Also, buy future outfits from petite lines of clothing - once you get clothes to look good on you (always difficult if you are shorter or taller than average) you may feel much better. The only reason celebs look good is because ALL of their clothes are either tailored to them personally, or altered to fit perfectly!

Its fat distribution and what you are used to. If you’ve always been slim, being wobbly is going to be an issue. Iam always getting people telling me I look good but I get to see the belly rolls- they don’t. YANBU

@Whochangedmynamec but maybe they are right and you are wrong you probably do look good and you are sabotaging the compliments internally

Sounds like you need to talk to someone about body image issues.

I hear you but I'm a stone heavier, nearly, and an inch shorter.
I put on weight quite casually thinking ill lose it when I set my mind to it at 12 stone 1st jan 2023, it hasn't come off like it usually does/did. I've been eating all the right things for 5 months now, minding my portions, going for long walks. I thought I'd lost a stone by now, but I weighed myself this morning and I saw 10 stone 7 staring back at me. It's confusing. I've put back on 7lbs????? Despite being on a strict low carb (not keto) diet.

I think my body puts on weight when it has 1400 cals per day, even avoiding sugars and refined carbs.

I will keep on keeping on, for health purposes, but my clothes only look good if I am 9 stone. I look short and fat if I'm over 9 stone. And I thought I only had a stone to go but this morning it seems to be a stone and a half.

I dont want to mess up my metabolism any more than it is.

🙄🙄🙄

OP why is it a stealth post? You're an average size for your height.

I feel the same - I totally get where you are coming from.
I am 5ft 1 and weight 9 stone and while I know I am not fat or overweight, I do feel pudgy and feel like I look chubby.
Pre babies I was 8 stone but if I am honest that was too thin. Ideally I would love to be around 8 and a half stone but those last couple of lbs are really really hard to shift, and if I shift any at all it comes back on again so easily!!
I am very active, walk daily and work out twice a week but I have to admit I am a sucker for chocolate and crisps and carbs.
I am not willing to be unhappy and loose weight so I have just accepted that 9 stone - at the age of 31 and having had 2 babies, mostly eat what I want - is actually ok.

@Mercurial123
You do realise that it’s not about numbers?
Every one carries weight differently and feels differently.