Depressed about weight but I am being ridiculous?!

[Hatmadhatter]

I know I am being unreasonable but I need the traffic and the support:(

I am 5’2 and weight 9st 8

clothes size :

coats - 8
dress 8 or 10
tops small or medium
jeans always 12 because I have a big bottom but then the they gape at the waist

I know this sounds like a stealth post but I promise it’s not

I know I am slim when you look at the numbers BUT I always feel short fat and frumpy ;(

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

I always put off buying nice new clothes because ‘I will lose weight soon’

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

so tired of feeling and living like this

any help or advice please ??

The amount of effort and deprivation you would have to put in to look like a French model/ Keira Knightly, if it’s not a natural body type for you, could potentially be quite miserable and unhealthy.

Not saying those women are necessarily unhealthy or depriving themselves, everyone is different.

Keira Knightley is fairly tall and I presume these french models you're referring to are probably tall too. There's no point comparing yourself to people who have a completely different body type.

I get where you're coming from OP but you're never going to be like the people you're idolising. It doesn't matter what you weigh, they're clearly not the same body type.

Keira knightly for example is about 5'7" according to Google.

People who are your height: Shakira, Avril Lavigne, Salma Hayek, Emilia Clarke.

Given that you're a healthy weight I definitely think you need to try to look inwards. I often muse about being 80 and would I care how I look right now if my health and mobility was failing. Not saying that would work for you, but it helps me to stay grounded and appreciate what I've got. FWIW I'm 5'3" and weigh significantly more than you but am an hourglass shape near enough. When I was slim (8 stone = size 8 for me top and bottom) I remember thinking how wide I looked from the front/back but how slim I looked from the side. That's just my shape, and I've learnt to love it.

If you are focusing on others style/outward appearance. Please try to find people you find beautiful who are your shape/height/body type. Rather than beating yourself up about something that you are literally physically incapable of being.

Un mumsnetty hugs Hatmadhatter it sucks being short. At nearly 50 and also 5'2 I'm a tubby perimenopausal 10st 7. I'd love to be your weight and must sort my own out having put half a stone on this year, through persistent hunger and snacking in a new wfh role.
What's helped me like me more is some new clothes outside my comfort zone, I've used an online style box for different ideas, some I hated so I've sent them back, but a few items are great and I'd have never chosen them myself.
We're never going to be any taller or a leggy super model but remember good things come in small packages💐

Maybe you'd feel better for exercising? If you don't already. You'd probably lose weight and feel happier and healthier too.

The problem with weight issues is it's more about you being happy and healthy. And if you aren't then it's a good idea to address it.

I am 5ft 1 and weight 9 stone and while I know I am not fat or overweight, I do feel pudgy and feel like I look chubby.

I’m 5ft 1.5 and would be thrilled to get down to 9st. That’s my happy weight. I look good but not too thin in the face. I am a medium/large frame (size 5.5 feet), have relatively long legs and short body, hourglass shape and fairly even fat distribution.

No idea about your numbers as I am very tall BUT focusing on food and deprivation ALWAYS makes you eat more of it in an unhealthy way.

Try a few weeks of not ruminating on food, responding to your hunger and cravings and aiming for a relatively regular meal pattern. You might be surprised.

I genuinely don't mean this in a bitchy way but I am surrounded (in an office) by women on a diet who look aghast at my normal lunch - say soup and a sandwich and a bit of chocolate- and ask how I could possibly eat it and stay slim. I don't say it but the answer is because I didn't spend the morning eating loads of bites of diet food (weight watchers 'bars' etc or whole punnets of grapes), constantly thinking and talking about and eating food!!

I've said YANBU only because I know exactly how you feel. I'm the same height as you and only a little smaller. I've always been tiny and was always very comfortable with my body, but since having kids and reaching my late 30s my shape has changed so much. My stomach is never flat, my clothes don't fit the way they used to and my hips make the rest of me look dumpy because I'm so short. But then if I say anything to friends in real life I get told to stop complaining as I 'look fine' and am still smaller than many. It's very personal. The next person might be very happy to be my size, but I am not. It doesn't feel like 'me' if that makes sense.
Anyway, as hard as it is to find time for exercise and eating properly with kids/work/etc I am trying to move more (little things like parking a bit further away and walking) and I've started using a smaller plate for meals as I found I was just filling up my plate and eating way past the point of being full. I've cut down on snacks loads by just not buying things that are in packets too.

You're never going to look tall and willowy no matter how thin you are because you're short. I'm about your height and a stone lighter and I still don't look like that and even when i went down to below 8st (accidently after a bad break up) i still didn't! Maybe try a different style that still looks chic- think more Marylin Monroe?

YABR yes.

Currently on a diet at 9st 8 and 5ft 4 because I feel bloated and chunky in the legs. I was gaunt at 8 and half stone though so I think 9stone might be the key.

5ft, 11st me has left the room.

id kill to be an 8/10 rather than 14.

your weight isn’t the problem. You need therapy as to why you feel this way.

Sounds harsh but it’s because at 5’2” which is short, it look properly slim you would have to be a size 8 at the biggest part of your body. I know. I am 5’3”. I am also short. If we are under average height then to look like we picture we need to be under average clothing size it just is logical. Also and I can say thins because I am very similar size to you. Well a big bigger. 10/12. No 8 anywhere, but when I was a size 8 in my youth I was 8 stone - 8st 4lb. Now I can be over 9st 6lb and fit a 10. Sizes are different but our perception that if we fit a 10 then we are slim is still in our heads.
TLDR: under average height means under average weight to look the way we see other slim taller people.
Sizes are not helpful. A 10 isn’t that small for a short person. It’s fine but it’s not slim. A 12 certainly isn’t.

none of this is about what we should weigh. It is answering the OPs question about why she doesn’t see a slim thing in the mirror when she’s an 8-12

But you could loose weight and you still wouldnt look like a model. You cant magically grow 6-8 inches in height!

As a short person I get exactly where you are coming from, I am 4 foot 11 and weigh 8 stone 12 and am overweight. I look overweight, I feel overweight and I know WHY I am overweight. My sweet spot would probably be a stone lighter.

She isn't saying her weight isn't fine, just that she feels stocky and not slim.
If her normal adult weight has always been a few kilos lower then just because she's still a healthy BMI doesn't mean she can't feel uncomfortable.

On paper my weight would be fine if I put on 2 stone, but I know I would feel uncomfortable if I put on only 1/2 stone.

I know I'm healthy BMI wise and I do a lot of exercise but my body shape (top heavy with thick thighs) means that I look overweight, I really look dumpy and frumpy.

At 8 stone 2 I look a lot better but it's tough to stay at that weight to be honest. I loveeee my food!

OP is not particularly thin, she feels uncomfortable and want support to help her feel OK about her perfectly healthy body and do away with unattainable desires (being 5 inches taller).

?

Oh pack it in.

Before I had the DC I was around 9 st, and that was heavy for me (5ft 3.5ins). At my slimmest I was a Size 10, never much smaller than that.

I weighed myself 2 months ago - 12 st, 2lbs. Size 18. That's huge, for me. The DC are both teens now, and the weight has been creeping up for a long time, complicated by CFS, menopause & underactive thyroid. I'm doing something about it before it's too late (hoping it isn't already). Have lost 8lbs so far through healthier eating, smaller portions, and daily exercise.

But short people ca. Still look slim. Like kylie minogue or Reece Witherspoon. But they are narrow framed and a size 6 at best

I would kill to be your weight OP - I am 5 ft 2.5 inches & am about 15 stone. I have really struggled with my health for the last couple of years & haven’t been able to exercise. I think your issue is mental, not physical.

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

This is what you need help with OP. Easier said than done.

OMG I'm 5ft 2 I would love to weigh the same as you