Depressed about weight but I am being ridiculous?!

[Hatmadhatter]

I know I am being unreasonable but I need the traffic and the support:(

I am 5’2 and weight 9st 8

clothes size :

coats - 8
dress 8 or 10
tops small or medium
jeans always 12 because I have a big bottom but then the they gape at the waist

I know this sounds like a stealth post but I promise it’s not

I know I am slim when you look at the numbers BUT I always feel short fat and frumpy ;(

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

I always put off buying nice new clothes because ‘I will lose weight soon’

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

so tired of feeling and living like this

any help or advice please ??

I'm a bit the same.

I know I'm not fat and I exercise loads.

But whilst my waist is small, my hips and top of my thighs are larger make me feel "fat".

I need to do more weights I think. I only do that once a week.

Ignore the jealous catty women on here. You know they speak from a place of self-loathing and resentment

I'd say it's the op who appears to be full of self loathing and resentment.... wanting to look like a French supermodel. Not to mention the normal, slim women on here describing themselves as frumpy and can't get changed in front of their husbands or look in the mirror because they weigh half a stone more than their arbitrary ideal weight.

You always seem very angry when women who are lighter than you still want to lose weight or are unhappy with their shape. You think if someone is in the ‘normal’ bmi range they are the correct weight and should never complain, and that they are showing off. That shows such an ignorance of frame and build.

You should try and lose that chip on your shoulder. Might shift a few kg?

How dare you invalidate other people's feelings just because you have a lot more weight to lose. You sound so very bitter and jealous and not only on this weight thread.

Counselling will help.

Someone who specialises in eating disorders or body dysmophia.

But generally it sounds like you need help in improving your confidence and seeing the real value of yourself, which, whatever size you are, isn't about looks, it's about your inner self and acceptance.

The op said this...

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

If you think this is ok and should be encouraged and validated then you need to have a long hard look at yourself.

But yeah, anyone who thinks this kind of disordered thinking and eating is problematic is just a jealous fat cow

I’m not even going to give you my numbers as I’ll be accused of a stealth boast! My jeans gape at the back. Always have. That’s what cool belts are for. Skinny girls have booty too. 😁

If you have an unhealthy relationship with your body then it won't matter what weight you are.

I'm 5ft 2 and weigh 8st 4lbs atm.

Still feel fat. Refuse to wear a bikini. Hate my body.

What I have come to realise though is that it's all in my head. I wouldn't be any happier at 7st nor would I look better. Knowing it's in my head doesn't help though.

You give that impression by your comments on many weight threads, not just this one.

I'm 5'3 and 9.5 stone but even when I was 8.5 stone or slightly under, pre baby, I had the same issue. Slim everywhere but a flabby belly. Post baby it's even worse as I have the csection belly and now I'm getting cellulite. Ime it's more about body proportions than anything. No matter my weight I'll always have a more prominent belly because I have a flat bum, no boobs and skinny arms and legs. But I see people who are much heavier or bigger generally than me who always look great because they are in proportion.

I don't give a fuck if someone wants to lose weight but what I'm fed up of is women hating themselves and basing their self worth on what size they are.

My best friend and I have completely different body shapes. Weight goes on my boobs and belly. Hers on bum and thighs. Mine is more dangerous in location; she is technically overweight verging on obese.

We support each other if we have a blip in self-esteem. Recommend clothes that suit each other. Listen and sympathise and support.

I have friends of all different sizes. I am so glad we don’t do this MN thing of invalidating each other’s feelings or accusing each other of having eating disorders based on spurious evidence.

Binge eating and thinking about food and dieting all the time which the op sad she does are not normal in any form.

I'm pretty pleased I'm not part of your angsty friendship group by the way...it sounds incredibly tedious sitting round moaning to each other about your bodies....

Nah that’s not how you come across. You seem to get very angry and upset if someone lighter than you wants to lose some weight. You are positively frothing! You don’t have any genuine concern for the women posting threads like this.

It’s not just you though; there are other overweight folk here who don’t understand that body shape, frame etc affect slim people too.

Funnily enough, that’s not all we talk about. But at the perimenopause, things change and we all have a bad day occasionally. And then we offer support not vitriol. I agree that talking 24:7 about weight is tedious.

Very odd...I don't have bad days because of my body shape....I'm an adult not an angsty middle class teenage girl from 1994. I have bad days for all sorts of reasons but not because I've put on half a pound.

It’s great you sailed through the perimenopause feeling great about yourself every day. A lot of women don’t. Well done.

Do you have a photo?

I haven't been through peri menopause. Why make assumptions. I've been every size imaginable. Bigger or smaller I don't hate myself for it. Why are you are so bitter that I'm not full of self hatred?

You are as you know on the verge of being overweight. Up to you if you are happy with that.

She's 5ft 6 according to Google, I don't class that as tall but there's not an extra ounce on her, she's what my Nan would call boney. To look slim on the screen you have to be tiny. I remember meeting Lisa Faulkner and being shocked at just how minute she is compared to on the telly, I mean, seriously tiny.

OP, as others have said, it's your head not your size. Counselling is a good suggestion.

Agreed.

And I hear you - I would love a breast reduction, my big chest definitely contributes to my frumpy feeling! Not to mention how uncomfortable they can be.

A content and happy person simply would not post such unpleasant responses to someone who is slim in your eyes, wanting to lose weight. You do it every time on these threads.

Deny it all you wish, you are clearly not happy with your weight and resent those slimmer than you. You are not alone. I hope you gain peace with your weight one day.

Lol...I'm good thanks. What a piece of work you are....

It's worth nothing that clothing sizes are not the same as they were.

A modern size 10 is more like a 12/14.

I have a lot of experience with vintage clothing, varied designers and cuts, and a vintage UK size 10 is much closer to a modern UK 6.

I have many items of my mums levi size 10 and 12 shorts and trousers, I can't fit in them without feeling like they're cutting me in half! Yet H&M, River Island etc I'm an 8. So we're definitely losing sight of what is actually slim.

So years and years ago we'd think of a size 10 as super slim, which it was, but today's size 10 measurements are MUCH more generous.

In high streets I'm an 8 or 10, but in vintage clothing I'm a large, or 12/14.