Depressed about weight but I am being ridiculous?!

[Hatmadhatter]

I know I am being unreasonable but I need the traffic and the support:(

I am 5’2 and weight 9st 8

clothes size :

coats - 8
dress 8 or 10
tops small or medium
jeans always 12 because I have a big bottom but then the they gape at the waist

I know this sounds like a stealth post but I promise it’s not

I know I am slim when you look at the numbers BUT I always feel short fat and frumpy ;(

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

I always put off buying nice new clothes because ‘I will lose weight soon’

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

so tired of feeling and living like this

any help or advice please ??

Your anger suggests you do have a lot of bad days whatever the reason

Models look like that because of their unique genetics plus a shit ton of professional help with make up, styling etc. Seriously - I went to London Fashion Week once, when you see models in real life they're like a different breed!

You're a healthy weight, you're just latching on to weight as an obstacle to confidence because it's kind of a comfort blanket - I'll do that scary thing/face the world once xyz happens. If it wasn't weight it would be some other thing. Don't be afraid to take up space in the world.

We'll all be dead one day, obsessing about the exact size of your arse is a very boring way to spend the limited years we have on Earth!

Well exactly but careful, you'll be called a massive angry fattie for not validating the ops feel

Thank you all for your replies.

I’ve been at work all day and just got the chance to catch up now.

i don’t think I have an eating disorder, but I do have an unhealthy relationship with myself at the moment.

I believe that the reason why is because I haven’t found my ‘style’ of clothing yet.

when I said ‘French models/Keira knightly’ I meant the style - the effortless, chic , cool kind of look …and I just can not find clothes to make me look or feel like this. I always look to try hard or ‘sexy’ because I am curvy. I feel uncomfortable because I don’t feel like myself.

i think a professional stylist may be able to help …

Someone in their 30s (for example) isn't going to be basing their size perceptions on what those numbers represented in the 1980s though.

People are a bigger build now. I am at the bottom of my healthy BMI range and there is no way I could wear a size 6 unless I removed some ribs/part of my pelvis.

Here's what Keira Knightley looks like on a normal day

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8639961/Keira-Knightley-enjoys-rare-outing-husband-James-Righton-two-daughters.html

Honestly, no one is a glamour puss the whole time, it's a performance to sell films/music/stuff. You're beating yourself up for an unattainable ideal.

What do you do for hobbies or for fun? Find something to fill your head with that isn't about how you look. It will be much more rewarding and enriching.

I've recently gained weight and I'm around 9st now. Usually weight is around 8- 8 1/2. I've gained due to medication I'm on, I'm similar height to you 5ft 1 and a half-ish. I definitely feel short and dumpy at this weight, it all goes on my hips so makes me look larger than I am. Also a size 8-10 in most stores but I'm very uncomfortable at this weight and shape. There are people who would criticise me for implying that lm overweight... I know that lm not but the weight I am now is not my optimal weight and it doesn't suit me.

Nope. That poster reflected in an intelligent and considered way. Your first response here to someone was, ‘Get a grip...your weight is fine’. See the difference?!

I spent a bit of time with sienna Miller once 20 years ago, as we are all staying in the same hotel. I initially thought she was a pre teen girl, she is that slim.

Also, I don't live in the UK where my MC mates are obsessed with being an 8/ 10 even now at 50 yrs. I am a solid 14, but live somewhere that really does love bigger women. It has done absolute wonders for my body confidence (especially, after i fixed diacrus recti and a fat apron post 3 c sections) . I have never felt or dressed better but syplhlike I ain't

The genuinely sad thing is that time marches on, and in 20 years time, you will look at photos of today thinking how you look so much better then you realised.

It genuinely isn't worth the angst. I l9ve my pear shape now, after my orevious feuitbowl shape, I hope you can let it go

Christ id kill to have these stats. Im 5 foot 3 and 11 stone (having lost 2 stone pp in the last 10months) but the scales won’t budge whatever I do.

all that said I’m very accepting of my size, I feel sexy and good when I’ve put the effort in to what I’m wearing, I’ve been bigger and smaller and I’ll prob fluctuate time and time again. It’s not your size that’s the issue here, it’s your own perception of how you look and feel.

@Whatsyournamelittlegirl there is nothing pro eating disorder about someone wanting to lose a reasonable amount of weight in accordance with their height and frame. Your comment is unnecessary and harsh

I think where you live can make a difference. A colleague of mine (normal weight) has moved to Singapore. And said she feels like a freak as everyone there is petite. And they actually make ‘direct’ comments to her about her physique :-( It’s horrible.

I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying clothes, make up, fitness etc - but there is something wrong if it's the focus of your life and you think you need to meet some standard to be good enough to participate in life.

Have you ever read Fat is a Feminist Issue, or The Beauty Myth? You might find them interesting. FIAFI is an easy self-help style read.

A lot of these anxieties are fed by advertising/social media telling you that there's something wrong with you that needs to be fixed. It creates insecurity then sells you the solution. Only the solution doesn't really work either because they find something else to make you feel insecure about.

I hear you. Boobs and a bum. Even when I was a size 8 I had shape. I don't like dressing looking sexy in the stereotypical way. I don't like cleavage or skin tight and short. I find slightly androgynous looks sexy on pretty women. It's the contrast between the feminine and masculine that I think makes it look so good. But with boobs and bum it's not a look that works.

I always look to try hard or ‘sexy’ because I am curvy

Women are curvy op...we go in at the waist and out at the hips and have boobs and carry fat in different areas to men because we are designed to birth children. This is completely normal.

The op didn't just say she wanted to lose weight...she said she thinks about food and dieting constantly and consequently binges. Big difference

I hear you OP.
4'11" here and feeling rather podgy at 8 stone. Would ideally like to be about 7st 7lb.
I've been both heavier (10 stone post pregnancy) and lighter (7 stone) but tend to mostly hover around 8.
It's hard to look slim and elegant when you're short, and no matter how hard I try I tend to look less like Kylie Minogue and more like Jimmy Krankie.
The 32G boobs don't help either.

Weight lifting. Seriously. look into body recomping

Some women are naturally A cup, broad shoulders and slim hips. They will wear wafty dresses and look dreamy.

Me on the other hand.. look hugely fat in a wafty dress because it clings to my sizeable boobs and rear and hides my relatively slim waist.

The wafty dress woman in a slim fitting pencil skirted wrap dress = boring and meh

Me in the pencil skirted wrap dress = sexy as hell.

Fashion is whatever. Find what suits YOU.

Try on different dress shapes. You may well be surprised !

You only need to read the 'what I thought I'd look like vs the reality' thread to see that this is very true.

I cannot wear cargos, boiler suits - whatever that look is. I look like I'm about to carry out military exercises, farm the land or work in a warehouse (nothing wrong with those thing, just not the look I want on a night out!).

She is size 8-10.

I hear you OP.

I'm a similar height. I've been a similar weight. It can be hard to carry it, though it's not like you're very heavy.

At my height, I'm never going to be willowy, like KK. But I like looking good in clothes, so I've been trying to shift a bit and I'm half a stone down. I could do with a few pounds more. But I'm judging it on my shape rather than anything. My tummy was/is the problematic bit.

@Comedycook

.... careful, you'll be called a massive angry fattie for not validating the ops feels.

LOL so true! 😆

@riseabovetheshite

How dare you invalidate other people's feelings just because you have a lot more weight to lose. You sound so very bitter and jealous and not only on this weight thread.

She doesn't have a bloody eating disorder FFS, fatness is so fucking normalised that you CANNOT be a LITTLE bit overweight for your size on this bloody site without someone telling you that you are lucky you are not 14 stone. Zip it. Her post is valid, her feelings about her weight is valid and just because she is not obese does not mean that she cannot feel shit about it. I am small and I totally understand what she is saying as can a number of other people. Comparing her to your relative is ridiculous when she was over a fucking foot taller and a stone lighter. Cop on.

U OK hun? You sound angry.

That poster does sound angry @SecretsIWouldNeverTell how odd...I thought it was just massive fat cows with a chip on their shoulder who get angry...but it appears not. How strange

😂