Depressed about weight but I am being ridiculous?!

[Hatmadhatter]

I know I am being unreasonable but I need the traffic and the support:(

I am 5’2 and weight 9st 8

clothes size :

coats - 8
dress 8 or 10
tops small or medium
jeans always 12 because I have a big bottom but then the they gape at the waist

I know this sounds like a stealth post but I promise it’s not

I know I am slim when you look at the numbers BUT I always feel short fat and frumpy ;(

I am constantly thinking about what I will eat and that I should eat less which means I eat more and binge eat .I am active and eat healthy most of the time but I think about food and dieting constantly

I always put off buying nice new clothes because ‘I will lose weight soon’

I just want to look like the thin French models or like Keira knightly all look effortlessly chic and cool but I think I never can because I have curves

so tired of feeling and living like this

any help or advice please ??

There is nothing suggesting mental disorder about a 5’2” woman wondering why she isn’t elfin at size 12 bum. It’s because a size 12 bum is not small on 5’2”. That doesn’t mean she’s morbidly obese but this forum is for more than societies outliers. You dint have to be anorexic or obese to ask questions

It's really rude to dismiss someone else's experience; if you've got nothing to add then there's no need to reply at all.

OP

I completely understand, and I feel the same.
I'm 52 kg at 5'3 but I've no boobs, and now no waist whatsoever (never really did but now there's fat there).
People will say that's slim but I don't exercise, eat like crap so there's no muscle there, just folds I can hold:(.

Also I'm foreign so while I'm just about acceptable at home, the actually socially acceptable weight for me there would be what I was 15 years ago, less than 45 kg, under size 6. Now I'm just like every middle aged woman here, and I can see the pity in the eyes of my compatriots...

The more depressed I am about it the more I eat. And crap as well.

Your weight sounds high, but it depends on body composition. I am 5"3 and weight over a stone less than you, but I wear bigger clothes (I don't like tight or fitted clothes at all). I weight train and have a fair bit of muscle which pushes my weight up, so yes, your weight seems high, but weight is not useful as some people have a larger bone structure, greater muscle mass, high water retention or even chronic constipation. All of these things will push your weight up.

No her weight doesn't sound high

@KimberleyClark
I have a petite frame and all my weight seems to cling onto my belly and around my back. I do have thin legs but it is my middle area that would make me feel uncomfortable at times especially if I am extra bloated for whatever reason - I find it really hard to find jeans that suit me because 1. I am short and cannot get away with anything other than skinny jeans, 2. I need tighter fitting for my legs and bottom but bigger for my belly and 3. If I size up to feel more comfortable around the waist then they end up really unflattering around my legs and bottom.
Also, the difference of a couple of lbs on me because of my height is astonishing. I can maintain weight quite well but I do think that 8 and a half stone would be ideal for my frame, height and build. The problem there is that in order to achieve, that I would be consuming very low calories!

I wish Mumsnet would not allow these posts from people who obviously have serious eating disorders/body dysmorphia. You post this for support and what you get is support from other people who have the same issues as you. What you need is support from professionals who can help you understand your disordered thinking, not posts from people encouraging it.
I have a relative who was a model. 6'4" and 8 and a half stone. She was neither fit, nor healthy. She spent years being treated for anorexia. She has a mouth full of crumbling teeth, and continuing problems with her gut. She has a lifelong addiction to cigarettes (Introduced to her by the modelling agency who thought she should survive on a diet of cigarettes and coffee and very little else). Please don't aspire to be like a French model...even their photos are photoshopped.

Yes, I'm aware of that. Thanks. And I still stand by my comment.

She doesn't have a bloody eating disorder FFS, fatness is so fucking normalised that you CANNOT be a LITTLE bit overweight for your size on this bloody site without someone telling you that you are lucky you are not 14 stone. Zip it. Her post is valid, her feelings about her weight is valid and just because she is not obese does not mean that she cannot feel shit about it. I am small and I totally understand what she is saying as can a number of other people. Comapring her to your relative is ridiculous when she was over a fucking foot taller and a stone lighter.
Cop on.

I'm barely 5'2 and just weighed in at 11'1 this morning.Strangely enough I'm a size 10 or 12 in trousers but have a 38f bust.A waif like non busty figure would be great but I'm never going to be like that.Im focusing on some weight loss and additional exercise.

SO only people who are morbidly obese can have concerns for their size. People who are a little overweight who don't want to be have an eating disorder. Perhaps you need to accept that your attitude is one reason for the catastrophic rise in obesity in recent decades. A size 12 bottom half on a 5'2" woman is not obese but it is still a little bigger than she wants. A woman could be a size 8 bottom and not be underweight. Stop invalidating everyone unless they are morbidly obese or struggle with whatever issues you personally have. It is not all about you

@Whatsyournamelittlegirl furthermore, at 6'4" 8.5 stone of course your relative was frightening underweight. What has that possibly got to do with the OP who is more than a foot shorter and more than a stone heavier?

Tbh, I think you might need to talk to someone.
the cycle you're in is exactly what binge eating disorder is.

Your body sounds fine, but you are excessively worried about it and its impacting your relationship with food.

I can't imagine how exhausting it is for you, I am the same, except I'm fat, so atleast when I say I'm unhappy, people can see why. But it just leads to more binging.

Speak to your GP for a start.

I think this is a bit extreme. The op is at the very top of her healthy weight category and is feeling frumpy which is reasonable if she is used to being smaller. Yes wishing to look like a willowy French model is unrealistic at her height but starting labelling people with eating disorders/body dysmorphia is a bit much. I've not seen any posters encouraging this

I totally get you. It’s horrible when no matter what, you never feel happy with your body. It doesn’t matter whether it’s psychological or you’re actually overweight, it’s still really hard. I know objectively that I’m not overweight, I’m about the bottom third of the normal section for BMI but I look in the mirror and feel crap. I wish I could address my psychological issues but I don’t know how.

🙄Pull the pin out of the hand grenade, then THROW it and RUN!!! eh* *@Hatmadhatter

No post after the first one last night.

Nothing to see here.

Because someone wanting to lose a bit of weight despite not being obese is such an unusual and contentious issue 🙄

Op you might find that if you focus on self-acceptance this might help your mindset around food anyway.

If you’re a low scale number and still don’t feel you look good, you need to build some muscle to look more toned. Aka instead of looking ‘skinny fat’

Do you know what your body fat % is?

Wanting to look like a catwalk supermodel is pretty unrealistic and ridiculous though...I mean very very few women, a vanishingly small number, look like that.

I empathise OP.

I’m about 5ft 6” and weigh 10st 4lbs and I hate it.

I look in the mirror and I just feel so frumpy.

Between having children, taking on a more sedentary job and the side effects of medication I have to take, the weight has piled on and I hate it.

My husband is always telling me I look amazing but I absolutely hate him seeing me undressed.

I wish I could just go to bed one night and wake up 1.5 stones lighter.

Some people have so many chips on their shoulders due to being fat that if they see a post by someone lighter than them, they instantly spew vitriol and accuse the poster of having an eating disorder. It’s so predictable and amusing.

OP I am the same height as you and tiny build. I would ‘look’ overweight at that weight, regardless of BMI calculations and the opinions of angry random MN fatties.

You are allowed to feel bad, just like anyone else who is trying to be an ideal weight. As a first step I would try and feel good about yourself now whatever weight you are. You don’t need to check yourself into a psych clinic! Treat yourself to a haircut, nails, whatever. Clothes that fit you today. Once you feel good about yourself you will feel stronger and then able to reach your goal weight should you wish.

I am lighter than you at the same height but have disproportionate big boobs (28HH) so will never look like a model. I dislike my boobs but don’t let them define me. You are so much more than your weight.

Ignore the jealous catty women on here. You know they speak from a place of self-loathing and resentment.

Well said!

Are you me? 😀

Stop buying clothes that don't fit.
Focus on healthy food and exercise, water and sleep. Crash diets don't work.

No one who really cares about you cares about how you look, only that you are happy and well.

Hey

Im 5"1 and a stone heavier

10at is my goal

Absolutely every inch of this!

Pardon the pun..

I have huge boobs too on a tiny frame, I hear ya!