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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think ^I'm^ not the queue jumper here?

122 replies

GretaGip · 03/05/2023 16:57

Went to fuel up today and paid for a car wash.

I drove around the to the start of the car wash and there was a car parked there, which I thought was odd as Id been the only person in the shop.

A man got out of his car and then wandered to the shop.

Menopausal rage ensued and I thought I wasn't having him push in. Obviously the convention is you get your ticket first then get in the queue.

So I drove around the front and precision reversed in.

Got out the car and put my code in as he walked back from the shop.

Apparently I'm a fucking bitch for doing this, according to the charmer in the parked audi.

So, Aibu to reclaim my rightful place in the queue?

OP posts:
Mephisneon · 03/05/2023 19:42

Ramunea · 03/05/2023 17:10

I hate when people bring up being menopausal as a way of justifying their actions

Yep. I'm a rude twat so gonna blame it on the the menopause. Urgh

Qbish · 03/05/2023 19:44

I'm with you OP. The person who has the ticket goes first.

Nice bit of parking you did!

ButterCrackers · 03/05/2023 19:47

He shouldn’t have blocked the car wash entrance when he went to get his ticket. That was selfish of him. Nothing to do with the menopause that you had a shout at him. Some people don’t think of others. Good that you got in front of him.

Rosula · 03/05/2023 19:53

I wouldn't have a clue about car wash etiquette as it's years since I've used one. If I did, I might inadvertently offend someone else's idea about what the appropriate etiquette is. For all you know, this man was in that position, so you can see why he'd find your conduct rude. Sure, his language was way out of line, but would it have hurt you to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/05/2023 19:55

babytum · 03/05/2023 17:20

I’m with you OP, it’s the equivalent of putting your jacket on a table in a busy cafe and then going to queue for your food. So bloody annoying.
Car wash etiquette is buy your ticket then get into the line, not prevent those ready and able for the wash process so you can hold up everyone trying to get on with their day.
Happened to me the other day only there wasn’t place to precision reverse in, another gobshite in an Audi funny enough…

This. I can’t see how you were wrong at all Op

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 03/05/2023 19:55

This trend of blaming any behaviour on the menopause is really irritating.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 03/05/2023 19:56

Well, the rule of thumb is that an Audi driver is usually wrong. Not sure about this one but on balance of Audi-related probabilities, you're probably good.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/05/2023 19:56

Rosula · 03/05/2023 19:53

I wouldn't have a clue about car wash etiquette as it's years since I've used one. If I did, I might inadvertently offend someone else's idea about what the appropriate etiquette is. For all you know, this man was in that position, so you can see why he'd find your conduct rude. Sure, his language was way out of line, but would it have hurt you to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait?

Yes but I’m sure you wouldn’t have sworn like that, using misogynistic language. I think he just thought he was entitled to go first, as Mr Big Shot.

potatohead1 · 03/05/2023 19:58

DemonicCaveMaggot · 03/05/2023 17:01

Yes, it would have been politer to buy the ticket first, but some people are confused about that. You could have asked him if he was going to use the car wash when he was walking to the shop and then waited for him to come back and fumed silently at him.

On the other hand he called you a fucking bitch over a three minute wait and someone like that just deserves to be annoyed.

But why should she have waited at all. She got there first. She arrived. Went got her ticket and that's when he arrived. He just pushed his car in front perhaps not realising she had already arrived but his attitude was appalling

potatohead1 · 03/05/2023 19:59

Mephisneon · 03/05/2023 17:02

I'm not sure that is the convention. I think they aren't normally busy enough to have a convention....

Also they take so little time it's not really worth the effort to do this.

Feels like you were pisses off and did this because you feel he deliberately slighted you. When how could he know you were in the shop paying?

The OP isn't the one who went feral. She just retook her rightful position he's the one who shouted nastiness

TheOrigRights · 03/05/2023 20:02

I'm actually pretty impressed you reversed into it - they have wheel guides and are pretty narrow.

afinethingindeed · 03/05/2023 20:15

I'm with you OP. As is my DH.
We always park up, buy a ticket and only then join the queue for the car wash.
The Audi guy was an arsehole.

Iceicebabytoocold · 03/05/2023 20:17

people are posting saying that you were angry and rude, I can’t see anywhere this has come across in your posts.

I would like to congratulate you on the reverse parking into the car wash, made me chuckle. Clever trick and serves the fella right.

Iceicebabytoocold · 03/05/2023 20:20

Also, I bet a million quid he would not have called a man a stupid b***d!

Denise82 · 03/05/2023 20:21

I'd have thought you were completely crazy reversing into a car wash, in fact I do. I think you were pissed off that someone used it how most people who are only using the car wash use it and it annoyed you.
Reversing in seems so petty to be honest.

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/05/2023 20:22

@GretaGip Even if he was unsure on etiquette, you had paid and were ready to use the car wash before he was. He was also verbally abusive so I don't know why you're the one getting the hard time! So many MN users must go about swearing at strangers that they think it's normal and don't ever feel intimidated by grown men being aggressive. The menopausal comment sounded tongue in cheek to me, perhaps it wasn't but either way, you managed to refrain from abusing him when he skipped the queue.

YANBU.

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/05/2023 20:23

Iceicebabytoocold · 03/05/2023 20:20

Also, I bet a million quid he would not have called a man a stupid b***d!

Exactly.

Hellohah · 03/05/2023 20:24

YANBU ... At my local Tesco, which is the only car wash requiring a code I've ever visited, they have a sign that says you need to pay at the desk before approaching the car wash. So I would always assume this is the case with every code requiring car wash.

QuickGuide · 03/05/2023 20:27

I think his is probably the usual way, but everyone needs to relax a bit

MucozadeOnLucozade · 03/05/2023 20:27

You're both in the wrong.

Neverquitehappy · 03/05/2023 20:29

I have always parked in the petrol forecourt, gone and bought a car wash ticket then drove round to queue. So YANBU. Obviously people do it differently but it seems a bit CF to me. You could be bloody ages queueing and paying in some places! Buy your ticket then get in line so you’re good and ready.

Hellohah · 03/05/2023 20:30

Sorry, I've been thinking about this.

It makes absolutely no sense to drive up to the car wash ready to drive in BEFORE getting the token.

What if you go to pay and have forgot your wallet? What if you realise you have no money and then several people queue behind you and all have to move to let you out. What if your car breaks down, doesn't start etc and you're left there blocking the car wash while waiting for the AA?

It just doesn't make sense.

Neverquitehappy · 03/05/2023 20:32

So while OP was waiting in line for her ticket, Audi man drives to the car wash & gets to go first whilst OP has to sit & wait for him to purchase his ticket?! How it that fair!

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/05/2023 20:50

Denise82 · 03/05/2023 20:21

I'd have thought you were completely crazy reversing into a car wash, in fact I do. I think you were pissed off that someone used it how most people who are only using the car wash use it and it annoyed you.
Reversing in seems so petty to be honest.

Being verbally aggressive is not only petty but illegal (if you're putting someone in a state of fear or alarm which I know I would be if a random man started using aggressive language towards me...and why is it his right to react to something that annoyed him but not OP? Because he's a man?)

Being angry that someone who paid for their car wash before you is using it before you is crazy in my opinion.

Alwaystired2023 · 03/05/2023 20:51

Love this 🤣 reversed in and put in your code!

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