If I ask DH to tell his whereabouts

[AnnoyingHusbandOrIsHe]

My DH is self employed but tends to only work a couple of days a week on the whole. I work part time but more hours and have a long commute. He usually works longer hours one day a week that I’m at home so I am there to do school runs. But this isn’t a predictable pattern.

I rarely get time home alone and I cherish it. I don’t do anything much - but I just like the freedom I feel not having anyone to answer to. I also find time alone restorative. He has this when I am at work and DC are at school. I work a predictable pattern.

Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to let me know when he will be out at work and when he will be home?

He says it’s none of my business and thinks it’s controlling and intrusive for me to be asking. To be clear, I’m not in anyway wanting to check up on him or direct him. I just want to know when he is going to be out at work so I can plan my time at home a bit (yoga and a face pack, or a duvet day with Netflix for example - stuff I wouldn’t do if he was there).

He refuses to tell me. AIBU or is he?

I read all your posts OP and one thing that jumped out (maybe my own projection) is that you alter what you do if he’s home. My DH has a wacky schedule and he’s shit for keeping me updated on changes. So long ago I just stopped worrying about it. In other words if Tuesday night is crap tv show night, that’s what I do if he’s there or not. Don’t get me wrong I don’t ignore him, we’ll talk, eat, etc. but then I’m not shy about saying “ok, I’m going to listen to my book now” give him a smooch and let him get on with it.

To be clear it sounds like yours has a weird hang up. But unless you’ve divined some way of changing him I’m not real sure what else you can do.

"He says it’s none of my business and thinks it’s controlling and intrusive for me to be asking."

Sounds like you have a great marriage