We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

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Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

Lots of people are naturally skinny. People have different builds. That's why an actual body fat calculation is useful. My best weight in terms of how I look and feel, objective fitness and strength tests and where I sit when I'm eating and exercising right, is towards the higher end of a normal BMI. For many people it's lower. Variation is a thing.

Underactive thyroids are not always easily treated. If it is stable then it is easily treated, but some people's levels vary over the years and medication needs continually adjusted.

Having lost 11 stone down to 8 stone 13 normal BMI for 5ft 2 I am now accused of being too skinny and looking unwell when in fact I'm the healthiest I've ever been- love working out and my weight is normal. I used to be fat shamed now this.

Agree that GPs can be rubbish at this. How often are you tested?

Annually.

Very true. Mine have been all over the place since menopause and I keep swinging between hypo and hyper. Before that it was stable for years.

I would go back and ask for a new test, especially if your tsh levels have been fluctuating. Mention the NICE guidance which says:

1.4.3For adults who are taking levothyroxine for primary hypothyroidism, consider measuring TSH every 3 months until the level has stabilised (2 similar measurements within the reference range 3 months apart), and then once a year.

1.4.4Consider measuring FT4 as well as TSH for adults who continue to have symptoms of hypothyroidism after starting levothyroxine.

I agree that we are gradually accepting average as normal then normal as healthy. I looked back at some old school picks and a friend we thought was pretty fat was probably a size 14/16. I'm about that size now, 5ft 6. I don't tend to join in conversations about weight (with women) as they get very emotional, but I have in the past declared myself as fat. Inevitably people respond, oh no, you're not fat fat you look lovely, your curvey, youre average, youre normal, theres hardly any spare on you etc....l didnt say l was unattractive, l said l was fat, which I am....just perhaps not as fat as you.

Thanks for that, will get back on to my GP although they are rubbish with appointments at the moment.

Even though I ate like a pig, I was underweight for years because I was an undiagnosed coeliac. I'm still slender but now watch what I eat or I'd put on too much weight (5ft 3 and 55 kilo). My husband is now thin and everyone thinks he's naturally thin. He's not. He has a back problem which would be made worse if he became fat. He eats a fibre rich breakfast, only fruit for lunch and a small dinner. I've noticed that at bring and share lunches, the people who say they put on weight easily are those who put pizza and quiche on their plates and follow it with apple crumble or cake...If I wasn't coeliac, perhaps I'd be tempted to join them, but I have salad and lean ham and my husband still only has fruit. Everyone has to make their own decisions but in the end, for most of us, calories in have to be the same or less than calories out or we put on weight.

I like fruit, but I'd be very unhappy if I had to have only that for lunch. I guess I'd do it if it was necessary to prevent a serious back issue, but I'd be miserable and I wouldn't think anyone was greedy for wanting something more at lunchtime.

I don't eat a lot, deliberately, to remain a size 6/8, and even I think tasting menus involve very small amounts of food. If you see that as illustrative of hearty eating, your idea of a lot of food is probably different from many people. Similarly the cream tea. If you're having it instead of a meal then some dainty sandwiches and cakes could well have less calories than someone else's lunchtime baguette and crisps.

This is what I was trying to say very badly.

There's a huge difference from encouraging people to stay within the healthy BMI range and saying that everyone should be a size 10.

I believe part of my life long weight issues were created by my parents not accepting that actually 10 stone or thereabouts was a perfect weight for a 5ft6 woman with broad shoulders, hips and size 6.5 feet.

I believe part of my life long weight issues were created by my parents not accepting that actually 10 stone or thereabouts was a perfect weight for a 5ft6 woman with broad shoulders, hips and size 6.5 feet.

Word. In the 90s I maintained 65kgs quite easily, BMI 22 for me. I exercised and ate a varied, mostly veggie diet, plenty of carbs, but still felt I was not thin enough for the ideals of the time and got right down to 56kgs at one point, not eating much at all, always hungry, and exercising a lot. Closest I got to an ED. Meeting DH fortunately made me chill the fuck out a bit.

And I still had really muscly legs even when underweight, not the gazelle legs that were fashionable.

You have to do what's good for you, not some other ideal or body type. Without having a muscle wasting illness I've always been muscular and solid of limb. Can see it in photos when I was 8 years old walking on the beach with my dad. Same shaped legs!

@Catspyjamas17 I look at photos of myself now and I want to cry - I had such an amazing figure and yet I spent all my time thinking I was fat. I would love to have that figure now.

I have always had chunky muscular legs too. I can see them in photos when I was 5 or 6.

I can see this in my two sons.
One is like me in stature, the other is like the other side of the family.
They were the same weight (bar 200g) at birth, but from toddlerhood you can see that one is plainly more solid. His wrists are larger, he puts on muscle more easily. They are both in good shape. The lean one works out with weights to gain more muscle, and loves to cycle. The more muscular one is FAST on the football pitch and stronger.
I can't comment on their adult food consumption because one is still growing.

If they both follow their appetites, are fortunate to have good health and do exercise they enjoy they will both be within the healthy BMI range but one will be at the lower end and the other about the middle I imagine.

@Emotionalstorm

Never been on a diet is meaningless if your 'natural' diet is averaging out to 800 calories per day.

@TheOrigRights

It doesn't need to be conscious as such.

It's still modifying your diet

Age plays a big part, up to 25 I ate a huge amount & was tiny.

I really don't get what you are trying to say.
That I cannot be naturally slim because I naturally change the number of calories I consume based on my appetite?

What does 'conscious as such' mean?

You firmly believe that no one can naturally be slim? How are you defining slim?

Surely the argument needs to be

'We have lost track of what a healthy diet is'

rather than healthy weight?

That's not what the OP is about though.
Her OP is about how many people (her husband specifically) don't consider overweight people to be overweight.

Of course you can be naturally slim, in the same way that you can be naturally small or naturally tall or naturally broad! Are you seriously saying that you think all slim people restrict their diet to 800 calories a day, intentionally or unintentionally?

If you have a smaller physique though, of course you need fewer calories to sustain it.

I like my legs now but am so glad we see so many other body types in the media now, and for body positivity, it has really helped (along with confidence and maturity). I've also had lots of compliments about them as an adult, questions about how long it took me to build the muscle (er, 47 years? 😂) and so on and have stopped being A Divvy about my strong, fit, healthy, if slightly too heavy (now) body.

Her husband absolutely knows shes fat.