We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

[SpringPop]

Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

And of course loads of people eat for taste...why do you think there's restaurants ffs? Or cookery books or TV programmes about food.

Oh, she knows. It's just your standard performative undereater thing, pretending not to have the slightest idea that food can be a pleasure.

Yes it's very tedious

Now, that's also a bit rude. I expect @Mirabai perfectly well enjoys food. I enjoy cheesecake. A slice, maybe even a large slice. But I could not eat a whole cheesecake without feeling extremely sick and I find it unusual that anyone would get enjoyment from doing so as a result. If that makes me a performative undereater then so be it!

YANBU

I just meant to that extent. For many people it seems to creep on slowly.

I’d think most people eat for both nourishment and taste. But as I can’t get in their heads I can’t be sure.

When someone has a desire to eat a whole cheesecake - surely that’s for taste alone and that leaves any nourishment aspect completely behind.

Well obviously if it would be for taste. Does it really upset you that I don't actually do that? I mean, now you can't give your passive aggressive advice as to what's going on with my body?

I don’t undereat and I like food. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d think most people eat for both nourishment and taste. But as I can’t get in their heads I can’t be sure

Well it's a pretty safe bet seeing as shops and restaurants sell a variety of food.

I haven’t given you any advice and why would I care what you do?

At some point, if they're that big, they're going to be eating the equivalent of a whole cheesecake in too short a time one way or another, on a regular basis. That's how it happens.

Yes, of course they're thinking of taste and not nourishment. If people thought only of nourishment, obesity wouldn't exist. People enjoy pleasurable sensations even when they're not healthy and sometimes find it hard to regulate. Stop the presses.

You do actually know all this, of course.

You commented on my bodily functions.. apparently my nausea or satiety receptors or something are not working...🙄

I've heard that it can actually be harder to lose weight long term than give up hard drugs. The drugs are not necessary for life, but food is, so you can never avoid it completely. Given that people with binge eating disorders get the same sort of high as drug addicts, it really isn't hard to see why it's so hard for them. How many drug addicts could give it up if they had to take a few hits every day to survive?

Interest in your comment about the desire to eat a whole cheesecake in the abstract is not the same as caring what you as a person do. It’s nothing to do with me.

Ok, but people who are naturally thin are not really in a position to lecture others about their weight.

And if you can be naturally thin it follows you can be naturally fat.

Obese people eat far too much food, this is not rocket science. But it’s complicated by disordered eating - bingeing, compulsive, emotional eating, poor education on food etc.

Alcoholics don’t down bottles merely because they like the taste of whisky.

Which presumably actually you know…

Yeah, the whole point I was making was that people are naturally different shapes and sizes. And I haven't lectured anyone.

I don't think people who eat a family sized cheesecake are representative either. Most people would lose their appetite for something so sweet and rich, or their stomach would rebel long before it was finished. Sadly, and especially when the metabolism slows, the difference between healthy weight and OW comes down to a single slice of cheesecake every night.
If it were the difference between eating huge amounts, far beyond the average appetite, and not, far fewer people would struggle. Unfortunately the amount of food needed to remain at a healthy weight is far less than most of us would choose. So unless you have an unusually small appetite or are extremely active, it tends to boil down to a choice between how much you'd prefer to eat, and how much you'd prefer to weigh.

There's vanishingly few of those. Most people aren't thin at all. Most people who are thin are so because they don't eat as much as people who aren't, or are more active. Perhaps there are people with science defying metabolisns, and certainly with health conditions that predispose them (to some extent) to be thinner, but they are outliers, and don't exist in anywhere near the numbers these threads would suggest. The vast majority of people are the weight you'd expect for their diet, activity level and age.

What size are you all defining as 'naturally thin'. For the sake of argument, give me a BMI.

I have a friend who is naturally thin, her bmi is 17 or 18. I know her family and they are all thin with a small frame.

I agree.
I don't think our body weight is determined by nature, hormones or metabolism.
There are some rare illnesses or medications that cause obesity, but 99% of the time it is determined by the calories we eat and the activity we do.
During WW2 obesity was rare.

People are not "naturally" thin, just some people who have lower appetites, don't crave sweet foods.
Psychology plays a part too I think. food plays a part in comfort, for babies food and comfort are very intertwined, a meal of warm milk will send most babies into slumberland, and toddlers can be pacified by a dummy, giving similar mouth feel stimuli and induce calm.

I think most of us retain that asscociation to adulthood in some degree, it feels good to some degree, particularly so if we are stessed, anxious, have low mood we can gain comfort from eating, particularly if accompianed by a pleasant sugar rush.

Perhaps naturally thin people don't have that same connection, or connect in different ways.
I am a naturally thin person, if I am stressed, anxious or feeling down my appetite slows down. If I am going through a difficult time I have to force myself to eat, because I have no appetite.
I know others who find solace in food during stressful times.

Yes, I do know this. But I'm not the one trying to analyse why someone might feel a desire to eat too much of something nice because it's apparently such a strange concept to me...except that it's not.