We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

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Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

But to show that slim people aren't just "lucky", we often manage our weight

Yes and I prefer that honesty....I find lots of slim people don't want to admit that they really watch what they eat and are very careful. It's like it's cooler to say that you eat like a horse and are naturally thin.

But some people naturally are - honestly, do you want them to lie just because that's what you'd prefer what to hear? Perhaps they eat like a horse but more healthy food, but because that's what they like, not because they're restricting? If you've eaten healthy your whole life, it's likely to be a preference rather than a choice.

So they're not naturally thin is what you're saying? They eat healthy food because thats what they like...in that case, their food choices are the reason they're slim.

Well, I don't think it's as simple as that. "They" are nor another species, anyway. Some people have fast metabolism, some people have a slow one. Some people have a broad frame and big build, others don't. It's not answer A or answer B, no matter how much you want to make it so 🤷

@Jourdain11 , @Comedycook , most of the slim people I know seem to eat differently to the overweight people.

For example, a family of plump people with one of the DC slim. The slim one is the one who loves salad.

Not eating between meals is one thing my slim pals seem to have in common, and a tendency to avoid the fat & carb heavy foods.

Very few people are naturally thin. Some people have little interest in food and eating. Some may genuinely prefer healthy food. But, most don't eat very much. All this, I can eat what I want and never put on weight...well i can guarantee you they won't be eating family sized cheesecakes and munching their way through family sized bags of crisps every day.

Well, no, but that's not really normal either!

Yes but when people say oh I eat what I want and don't put on weight...it's depends what you want. If I genuinely ate what I wanted I'd be morbidly obese.

Yes exactly. It would be really cruel to tell someone who has managed to lose significant weight, and is feeling pleased about that and positive about continuing, that they look fat and ridiculous. It may well have the effect of crushing their self esteem and putting them off further healthy eating.

I'm not overweight and I know which of my friends are overweight but I'd never mention that because (1) it's none of my business (2) what would be the point, I'm sure they know already and (3) I like them and don't want to upset them.

If someone asked me directly then I would tell them what I thought. Otherwise, no.

What does naturally thin mean though?

I’d say the opposite: that humans, like animals, are naturally slender but poor diet, over-indulgence and lack of exercise makes them fat.

To get fat you have to consistently eat more calories than your body needs or can cope with.

Many people don’t want to eat a family sized cheesecake or crisps. So they are eating what they want!

That's what I mean. Naturally thin is a meaningless phrase. Perhaps their natural appetite is small. But if they ate huge amounts of unhealthy food, they'll put on weight. And yes, I'd happily eat a whole cheesecake and I could easily eat a multipack of crisps. If I ate what I truly wanted I'd be absolutely huge.

I hate this misconception that fatties are fat because they binge on huge quantities of junk food, most of us put on weight slowly and unremarkably, portions a little bigger than we need or a slice of toast too many at breakfast time.

No one would be "naturally thin" if they were eating family sized cheesecakes every day. However, eating one slice of cheesecake for pudding once or twice a week is definitely compatible with being a healthy weight, and I wouldn't say that counts as managing or restricting what you eat - that's as much cheesecake as I would ever want.

I'm in the middle of the healthy BMI range and I eat 3 good meals per day with a couple of snacks in between. I eat sweet foods every day. I often eat chips, crisps etc. I drink beer most nights. It's not an unusually healthy or restricted diet at all. I also love eating and really look forward to every meal!

I'm in the middle of the healthy BMI range and I eat 3 good meals per day with a couple of snacks in between. I eat sweet foods every day. I often eat chips, crisps etc. I drink beer most nights. It's not an unusually healthy or restricted diet at all. I also love eating and really look forward to every meal!

The only time my BMI was in the healthy range I ate one meal day...no snacks and no alcohol. I had to severely restrict what I ate.

In fact you said very few people are naturally thin.

I think a whole cheesecake/crisp multipack would make most people feel sick. It sounds like you’re eating for taste rather than nourishment and your satiety and nausea settings are switched off. I’m not convinced your approach is that representative.

I don't eat that....but thanks for your patronising assumption

I didn’t assume you did, I’m simply responding to what you said. (That you could “happily eat a whole cheesecake and… a multipack of crisps”.)

I said.

I'd happily eat...

Not

I happily eat

See the difference...but of course, you couldn't resist an opportunity to be patronising and rude. Why? Because weight and eating is seen by so many as being a morality issue.

It sounds like you’re eating for taste rather than nourishment and your satiety and nausea settings are switched off. I’m not convinced your approach is that representative

This comment you made is shockingly rude.

I said: I didn’t assume you did eat all that.

Is it? It wasn’t meant to be, I was just trying to analyse why anyone would want to eat a whole cheesecake if they could.

I know front your previous posts that you're aware many people are overweight and that this is usually down to overeating.

So it's funny to see you now finding someone who admits to wanting to overeat as somehow not representative.

Aïe aïe aïe...

Fwiw, I love cheesecake 😃 I'd definitely have a nice piece of cheesecake for my last supper.

Because it tastes fucking amazing. Obviously.

You don't analyse many things, do you?

Yes it was rude. I don't eat whole cheesecakes but you are passing judgment on the fact I could...yet, I don't. How rude is that. Me..I'd love to eat that cheesecake but I won't. You...gives random, unsolicited advice to me for something I don't do.

Is it not enough for you that I don't do it.