We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

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Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

“We should all be a size 8 realistically. Like a healthy sized. But we over eat and overindulge and we sit all day.”

No we don’t all need to be a size 8. 10-12 is fine for most people.

Growing up we had bread from bakeries - Manuels and Parishes - my parents were anti processed food. As an adult I’m not keen on bread and I hate burgers. I occasionally eat a sandwich from a cafe, but I generally eat gluten free.

Regarding overeating - you said: it’s not eaten in moderation - whatever than means. It’s eaten with most meals daily. Not a slice everyone and then from a loaf in the market.

Not in moderation = overeating. Bread multiple times a day isn’t necessary.

U.K. portion sizes are bigger now but I’m not sure they always were. The French were known for being the gastronomes.

I mean really everyone should just focus on themselves and not be concerned with other peoples weight because you can't change it

I am fat but I'll carry on trying to eat well and exercising as much as I usually do and if other people judge me then that's up to them. I know my health, my diet and my exercise but it is a tiny bit annoying when someone who drinks every night and lives off red bulk says how unhealthy I am thanks relative
Health isn't just weight

It's not really about clothes size though. You could be quite large as a size 10 if you are only 4ft5, but really slim if you are 6ft and a size 10.

I don't think there is anything wrong with someone saying they are fat and need to lose weight for their health. Those things are factual. Fat should be a descriptive word rather than an insult. Saying you are fat doesn't mean you hate yourself. Same with saying you want to be slimmer.

People tend not to be honest about the helpful gastric bands.

I don’t require you to agree. 🙄

@Begsthequestion

I'm a bit overweight at the moment and it's refreshing to hear it called what it is. I'm glad the OP is being honest.

If you see offence at every turn in the road that's not my problem (nor the OPs).

It’s about the OP in particular and the more general issue that the majority of the population is now overweight. OP’s poses the question is whether as a society we’ve lost touch with what constitutes a healthy weight.

No reference to the other poster at all.

Thanks, I m not too big, then. Just googled the sizes..Size 10 upper body, size 12 bum. But I assure you I m very much far from looking skeletal or slim, fairly average.
I will look too slim/ unhealthy if I get to size 6 (I won’t), but current size I look normal. And I m tall (5’10’’).
Actually, wide skeletons/wide frames do exist, but it doesn’t translate into big differences in body weight. Human skeleton weighs almost identical whether it’s coming from hypo- or hypersthenic person.

My bum would never be a size 8 (unless I were to be very sick or employ surgical methods, I suppose).

I would have walked over nails to achieve that when I was teen. But it's not possible.
So no, I don't think a universal size 8 should be the goal.

none of you know my health issues or conversations I’ve had with my GP. There’s no need for you to project MY thoughts about MY body on to yourself.

Agreed, that’s what going on and there’s no need for it.

We should all be a size 8 realistically. Like a healthy sized. But we over eat and overindulge and we sit all day.

This is ridiculous. I'm 5'6" and even when I was 8st 3lb after being ill, my shoulders were still size 12. Not everyone has the build to be a size 8.

What about the rest of the things op says about herself with regards to her weight?

I feel bad if her kids overhear any of that. It's damaging.

I don't even want to engage with your awful attitude towards other human beings so I'll leave it here. Enjoy your rantings.

Are posters on here not part of the population then?

No one can genuinely be this dense.

That’s true. I have friends and we are now in our fifties. They look great and have gone from a size 8-12/14 on and off all their lives and it’s just a shame that they have spent thirty years of friendship obsessing over their weight. It feels like such a waste of emotional energy.

Excellent we have now veered into the territory of the body judgers.

This is why clothes size is very unhelpful, BMI is at least more objective.

Frankly if someone is in the healthy BMI range which I believe is 18-25, then it's nobody else's business to be pronouncing them as fat or thin.

My main issue is a lack of bog standard 12-14 models or celebrities of any description- loads of traditional model size ones and some plus size ones, but very little like me so I can get an accurate perception of my actual size.

As an aside, if it's ok to go around calling people fat, can we also call lower weight people names too ?

Odd.

Totally agree OP. I'm 5ft 1 and weigh a little less. I am fat. I don't have self image issues or any other issues I'm just not kidding myself. Because I'm so short I look like a dumpling. I'm not upset about it but I am trying to change it.

This body positivity nonsense isn't doing anyone any favours.

At 5 2 I am around 7 stone 4/5 with big boobs and look fine. I eat lots and friends tell me I look good. Because my frame is really small. When I was stressed and went down to 6 stone 10, then I looked awful and knew it.

It’s not just weight and height; frame plays a huge part so it’s impossible to compare I think. Oh I am Asian too so have a different scale anyway.

Self hatred is a pretty crap diet tool, that’s all I know. I am glad your husband doesn’t talk to you with the cruelty you talk about yourself.

No. The more you talk, the less sense you make.

How is weight loss a competition? Why is a gastric band cheating? What are the rules? What do you have to do to win? Why would a person not be able to enter this competition? Who is the referee? How do we know when the competition is over? What channel can I watch it on? What in holy bloody hell are you waffling about?

OP, the answer for me was to make my own informed decision about my health and how I wanted to look using the NHS guidance and the mirror. You get so many different viewpoints from the competing factions and interests groups thst you really just need to tune out the noise and stick to your plan.
Stands to reason that if health is your priority your medical adviser's opinion is more valid than anecdotes from other people about how healthy they are while over weight.
Equally, an honest appraisal of the body you have compared with the one you could realistically achieve is more helpful than a thousand people telling you size 14 is slim.
Its lovely your DH is positive about you. But ultimately its your body and your choice.
The same with diet. I've lost 2 stone without cutting a single carb, and in truth, I don't know a single low carber who doesnt lose and gain the same 10lbs on repeat. The same with Slimming World. A calorie deficit and a plant based diet worked for me, but its not for everyone. Just find what works for you and don't be sidetracked. It's a rabbit hole that diverts your focus from getting on with it.

What a silly ignorant post. Educate yourself.

It’s not me that’s dense. Being part of the population isn’t a reason to make a thread all about you and your issues when they’re about someone else entirely.