We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

[SpringPop]

Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

Cheating? Is it a competition?

And why do your uninformed assumptions about a stranger's confidential medical history mean anything at all?

I don't want to discuss the topic with you. I'm not interested in your faux concern in the people you're insulting either.

Perhaps it's time to get off Instagram if it's having such an influence on you.

You are your own person with your own way of living as an adult.

@SpringPop YES YES YES!!! I agree with your thought process here entirely!!!

All around me I see people convincing themselves they are the ok when they are easily carrying excess weight and look pretty bad.

I don't see your language as self-deprecating at all, it is factual. I know what it's like to look like a ball - I see them everywhere! It's no different to saying the shapes - apple/pear etc.

Good on you, a bit of honestly is so refreshing!!!!

@Cam22 "Using a gastric band is cheating". At what game? Is weight loss a competition with rules? You have the weirdest view of the world.

It's definitely time the government got involved. Think about smoking. At one time it was perfectly acceptable to smoke at work, around children etc. When the harms of it were realised, smoking in films and on TV suddenly disappeared. Children were taught at school that it was unhealthy. Our children certainly 'mentioned ' it to my heavy smoking husband. Then it was banned in pubs etc. Societal change didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. There should be a TV campaign nudging us towards healthy eating and exercise. (I might then give up my chocolate obsession 😋)

@peachespeachespeaches i completely disagree! I was talking about ME. none of you know what I look or feel like. Or how I carry the weight. I can talk publicly or privately about MYSELF however I want thanks very much.

none of you know my health issues or conversations I’ve had with my GP. There’s no need for you to project MY thoughts about MY body on to yourself.

I actually prefer it when I’m harsher on myself because it motivates me a bit more to change things that I’m unhappy about. That might be anything in my life, not just fitness goals.

I love my husband very much. He’s kind. I also feel like In an ideal world, he would be kind and supportive in helping me reach my goals.

theres ways to do it kindly for sure

he doesn’t need to call me fat of course but he could say “I can see this means a lot to you so let’s do swimming this weekend instead of cinema”

instead the narrative by lots of people is to say “you look fine” and encourage me to eat chocolate or drink alcohol. Even though I’ve had enough etc.

I don’t believe I have body dysmorphia. I am just carrying too much weight FOR ME and doing something about it.

I do believe I look good sometimes and I’ve been told I have a “nice face” sigh many times. I present well and look after my hair.

however I’m obese, I’m short, I’m unfit, with health issues, I have 32H bra size and even that was getting tight. yeah going swimsuit shopping is bloody depressing. I have had 3 kids including twins so my body isn’t what I’m used to. I think I’m ok to say that about ME.

Oh right sorry I see what you mean about the market. How have you never eaten bread from a packet? Which bread do you eat then? Never had a burger from a resturant or a sandwich from a cafe?
Im not talking about over eating? Why do you keep referring to over eating? I’m talking about a normal diet in 2023. Most people would have bread products almost every day or multiple times a day in various forms? Personally I don’t know many who wouldn’t think that was normal?
In any case, the UK diet is different from the French. We are known for far bigger portions. The French might have an espresso with a small pastry or French toast or one crossiant. The British would have two slices of white bread made into a bacon sarnie or a sausage bap (or 2!) Portion sizes are large for many people in the UK and the food is the wrong type of food to stay healthy. This is a fact as evidenced by 65% of people being overweight or obese!!

@Kyse posting photos on your personal pages and accounts is a bit different from people who are trying to ‘influence’ and gain followers.

You poor thing, having to suffer heavy people in your eyeline.

Perhaps there's somewhere the government could put them so you don't have to see?

@Begsthequestion I am aware of that thanks.

✔️

I actually prefer it when I’m harsher on myself because it motivates me a bit more to change things that I’m unhappy about. That might be anything in my life, not just fitness goals.

AHH i see op, as I suspected you are looking for negative comments to motivate you to lose weight.

Fucked up to do it on a parents forum imo.

I dunno if it is though really
My Instagram is public and I often get random followers as I use tags and hashtags

It’s certainly a competition but those who can’t enter get unreasonably angry at those who succeed. Clearer?

Why? Are parents special or something? Must their feelings be spared?

@Cam22 Nope.

Oh turn it in.
Maybe the OP has a body shape that makes her stomach really stick out I.e a short torso. Everyone will look different at that height and weight.
Not remotely gross.

I don't think we're gonna agree on anything tbh.

OP yes you're a grown adult and you're obvs free to hate yourself and criticise yourself and ignore your loved ones as much as you want.

By please if you have kids, and you care in the slightest about their health (mental/emotional/physical), don't let them hear you talk about yourself like this.

It's damaging on so many levels.

@Cam22 Do smokers cheat if they use nicotine patches? Do alcoholics cheat if the use antabuse? I mean, it's not logical to say gastric bands are cheating.

@Nordicrain Exactly. I don't condone either.

We should applaud healthy women.

We should all be a size 8 realistically. Like a healthy sized. But we over eat and overindulge and we sit all day.

So the average now is what? A size 14?
Even kids are getting fatter and fatter.

At my heaviest I was a size 18. I felt the absolute worst. Looks and health wise. I am currently a size 10 looking to go back to a size 8.

You being 5f3 and 80 kilos? You would definitely have looked like a ball.
I was 5f7 and 71 kilos and I looked a shapeless blob.

;but I guess that being said. Even with a healthy sized 8 (perhaps 10) body you'd still have to treat it well. With proper nutrition and not just live of junk food.

But people see a size 14/16 as the new normal . The US is riddled with obese people. They are living like they have got free healthcare 😆 but the scary thing is. Here were i live adults are getting fatter and fatter too . They even sell clothes up until size 28 (Australian size!) In some of the biggest retailers. Like Wtf...
The stores are enabling the obese to become fatter and fatter. And the they have the nerve to call it "curvy".
No. Curvy is size 12 perhaps 14. After that is fat. And after that it is obese

People are definitely losing sight of with is normal . It is a pandemic

Are you serious about gastric bands being cheating @Cam22 ?

Other nations have considerably worse weather and the people have just as much stress in their lives yet they are much fitter. It's cultural. I wish people would just admit that we're a nation of gluttons with low standards for ourselves. It can be changed and desperately needs to. I know people don't like the 'tone' as of late but being tactful has gotten us nowhere. Every year the nation gets fatter and sicker.