We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

[SpringPop]

Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

This thread is not about you, it’s not intended to hurt your feelings. You’re simply interpreting from a self-centred perspective of how you feel about yourself.

@Mirabai

How is the thread not about her?

It's about how society views appearance and health

It's about everyone

You've also no idea what the motivation of the op was

No, but none of us have an idea what anyone's motivation is, quite honestly.

My motivation is bitterness at being told I'm unhealthy 'cause my BMI is "underweight" 😂

@Jourdain11

Why?

Overweight people have to accept being told that all the time.

Usually with Fact! At the end of it

Well my motivation was not to upset anyone. I’ve posted on threads like this and it appears people always make it about them and cast me as some sort of giant “meanie”

Are we saying that I can’t discuss MY OWN weight/body/fitness at all incase it upsets someone that is similar in size or bigger?

I personally don’t get that. I’ve had people smaller than me tell me their hang ups and I don’t get upset because my thighs are bigger or I’m shorter etc.

all I know is I’m unhappy at present and people around me are telling me a variety of different things about my weight. From “you look lovely” to “you are fine as you are” to “you need to lose weight, it’s not healthy”

I mean something is up.

"You look lovely" is not incompatible with "you need to lose weight, it's not healthy".

@SpringPop

Maybe you'd get on better of you stopped caring what other people thought

Because I know it not to be true!

France has boulangeries and patisseries everywhere - croissants, baguettes, brioche - which they’ve eaten for centuries. Their general BMI is significantly lower than the U.K. nonetheless.

They have different carb and butter-absorbing genes. I swear I can put weight on by merely looking at France from the other side of the Channel.

@Jourdain11

Then don't be bitter. Just don't care

Your language and the "I'm 11st 2 and look like a ball. So fat" narrative is appalling.

You are not only talking about yourself. By listing your exact weights and measurements and then applying words and negative contexts to them, you are projecting and talking to and about every other person here.

You have provided a benchmark both in number and word by which you measure how you view people and it's fucking gross.

You might have. Take your body dysmorphia to a therapist, not Mumsnet.

34% of French people smoke, compared with 19% of fits. That may have something to do with it.

Hmm not really, since I weigh less than op. It is possible to care about other people's feeling and not just your own.

You can eat LOADS and still be a healthy weight

Why are people on here assuming what works for them works for everyone else?
I am 11 stone, 5”8”, BMI of 23. Exercise 5 days a week. In order to be this weight I have to eat 1 meal a day with a couple of small snacks ie fruit/yoghurt. If I go above about 1200 cals a day I gain weight.

Im 40’s and perimenopausal - it is very hard for some people to stay slim - just because YOU can “eat loads” and stay slim doesn’t mean others can. We’re all different body shapes/store fat and muscle differently and have differing metabolisms.

I've felt the same frustration of people telling me I wasn't overweight when I was literally obese. I know it doesn't help. Especially as I was the one bringing up that I had made the decision to cut crap out of my diet because I wanted to get to a healthy weight. I needed to hear, "good for you," or "good luck" or maybe an offer of a piece of fruit instead of the cake I was turning down if my host really needed me to have a snack.

And yet, even now, if someone tells me they want to lose some weight, my first instinct is to say "oh you don't need to, you look lovely." It's maybe a mix of genuine kindness and social conditioning. I've had to train myself to say something like, "well you look great but good luck with it. I hope you get the results you want."

What's up is that other who care about you irl are hearing you insult yourself about your weight even after losing 10kg and they're trying not to fuel or amplify that critical voice inside your head because it's loud enough already.

Losing excess weight for your health is great but the language you use and the way you're trying to universalise your self judgement is not.

Gastric band loss. Wonder where she puts all that loose skin?

Yeah Adele and Rebel Wilson are just two of the celebs that lost weight with surgery. Not exactly your average Joe inspo.

This is such a mean girl thread. You should be embarrassed.

Oh for heaven’s sake, using a gastric band is CHEATING!

They must both wear body suits to stuff all the skin inside neatly. Must be so unhygienic and uncomfortable. I’m presuming neither one has had the skin removed given the potential danger of those operations.

I think there is a huge amount of very overweight influencers and people with Instagram accounts that make people think it’s ok to be overweight. I think it’s nice that they’re showing people how to dress etc ( because obviously you still want to look good when you’re fat) but I’m not sure if it’s a great thing health wise to encourage people to be content staying fat. I know in my mind I need to lose ten pounds but the lazy part of me ( who likes baked goods) sometimes thinks ‘oh well x on Instagram looks great and she’s bigger than me. Maybe I will just eat that second sandwich…’😕

Wasn’t it Kate Miss who said - and I’m paraphrasing - “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”?

But that's your issue, not theirs
That's like saying nobody who is overweight should post any photos on FB or Instagram in case they encourage people to make themselves fatter
That excludes about 60% of the population from ever posting a photo of themselves looking nice
I'm not stopping posting gym photos in case influence someone to become fat and exercise

*Moss