We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

[SpringPop]

Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

Five foot is very small for an adult though isn’t it? That’s childlike proportions. Most adults are much taller and would look horrendous if they were that thin. I’m 5’8 and would look like the walking dead. I’m a size ten to twelve. I know that makes me a right heifer in MN land but I run several times a week and am in good shape.

Completely agree. It’s a problem right at the top. Huge changes need to be made at the top levels or nothing will ever change! It’s worrying.

https://ukft.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/17111332/UKFT-International-Sizing-Chart.pdf
Better to measure yourself than try go by any shops.

YABU. You are fat.
Your DH loves you so of course he thinks you are beautiful.

That is really interesting. I'd be between a 12 and a 14 which seems about right to me and in line with clothes sizes as they were about 30 years ago. But these days I fit into 8, 10, 12 depending on the vanity of the shop sizing.

It is now recognised that high cholesterol is a red herring and there is no documents that state that meat consumption is related to cancer. Communities that eat primarily meat or exclusively meat such as the Inuit and tribes in Africa that live on meat, blood and milk only, don't get dental problems, cancer or illnesses related to gut dysbiosis.

Wow, congratulations on your weight loss!! 💐

I believe that many people have issues in regards to body image.

Whether we look at insta models and their perfectly posed pics with the correct light etc. if they're "natural" (let's not even get into filters, touch ups etc) and hate ourselves for not looking like that.

Or we may look at very overweight people and don't even realise it anymore, yes.

However: I once read that overweight men have about the same amount of body confidence as women considered to be in the ideal bmi range! This is something that does seem to apply to the people I know (and am close enough to talk about this). I think that is something you (you =OP) and the rest of us should sometimes remember.

@PurpleWisteria1

My argument is not referring to over eating and binge eating patterns - I’m talking about a healthy balanced diet. If people have to limit carbs to stop them over-eating them - that is a separate problem.

Pasta has existed in some form since ancient China, Greece and Africa. In Italy pasta goes back to the Etruscans - and by the early renaissance (13c) it was a staple - which is not far off 1000 years.

I don’t personally like pasta but eaten in reasonable quantities won’t do anyone harm. The problem is the explosion in quantities in which people eat them.

”Bread as we know it” has existed since the dawn of time. I’ve never eaten packet bread and it’s only one section of the market.

YANBU I had someone at ds' swimming class seriously suggest that I wasn't feeding him properly. Suggest I take him to a doctor. 😳

He's a skinny 14yo with all his ribs visible. But he eats more than me, is the healthiest person I know and is growing about a cm a month. When I was a kid, almost all 14yos were like that. now it's rare.

I'm 59, 5'8" and ten stone 10lb (68kg). I feel fat, I lumber, I have a good roll of flab around my belly, I don't need to check my BMI to know I'm overweight. Thankfully summer is almost here and my appetite will disappear with the cold weather. I can't wait to get back to normal.

what is your point exactly?

Those aren’t accurate. A U.K. 8 is a French 36, an Italian 40, and a US 4.

isn't a current size 4 or 6 about equivalent to a size 8-10 back in the 80s? If so, that's just slim, not emaciated. Which kind of proves the OP's point.

Ha ha her friend is 5 foot 7 and a size 6 aswell, both normal, healthy girls. You can be a size 6 at 5 foot or 6 foot!

I can’t afford their clothes now but Joseph sizes haven’t changed since I was 18 and I’m 52 now. I’m still the same size I was except my boobs are bigger.

I'm a size 6 and I'm certainly not emaciated, nor do I need help. Really don't understand why it's considered fine to insult thin people but not the other way round 🤷‍♀️

😂I don't really care if they want to wonder around like that.

Neither am I going to waste my time googling celebs.

What I said, is that from where I sat (not bothering to google because I don't care enough) it seems like fat is celebrated and I see much more body confidence (hence the relevance to skimpy clothes) in much larger young girls than I ever did 'in my day'.

Do with that what you will. You can argue my POV isn't correct. I'm telling it's how it appears to me who doesn't follow 'celeb' much other than what is so pushed in our face we cannot get away from it.

Modern size 6 is the old size 8-10.

Just being able to do some moderate exercise is seen as abnormally fit nowadays, whereas in times gone by it was normal.

We're not talking Olympic Athlete fitness levels, just being able to do a 2-hour bike ride, surf, kayak, tennis game etc. It's depressing that being able to do that is seen as excessive to some people.

You are kidding, aren't you?

As an 18-25yo (definitely a grown adult, 5'8" tall and well past puberty) I was a size 6. That's not emaciated, that's normal in my family. We are all the same shape and perfectly healthy.

Go and buy the best bra you can afford. Get measured (and the bra woman does not care what shape you are in - they are fitters because they want everyone to look their best!). Make sure the straps are adjusted correctly and check this every single time you put your bra on. MNers will have recommendations if you want them - I can't suggest one as have fried eggs so can get away with standard M&S. Do not say 'Ooh, I can't possibly spend that much on a bra', this is an investment in you, your self esteem and your breast/back health. Save up if you need to.

Then, look at your posture. Learn to stand and walk 'correctly'. I know that sounds weird, after all, don't we stand and walk anyway (obvs. not everyone)? I'm willing to bet you are always somewhat hunched, I know I was until I started having physiotherapy. Doing this also takes strain off your knees and back!

Do these two things and you will instantly look so much better. Look better and you will start to feel better!

Clothes make a massive difference. A man may look like he is a healthy weight in a suit, but doesn’t necessarily look it in cycling gear.

What has waving magic wands got to do with it? That sounds like widening an argument because you don’t want the uncomfortable feelings that come with thinking about your own dodgy thought processes. Much like the things you accuse fat people of doing

@MintJulia same but the other way round
We are all tall and broad. I mean I guess the females would be as my mum was (5ft10)
My cousins are all male and I'm an only child so it's difficult to tell but we have a heavyweight boxer, a swimmer and a wrestler in the family

Where does one go to have a decent bra measured and fitted? My boobs are heading to australia and no industrial underwiring seems to be helping them these days.

I think this is a good point.
I’ve been through similar - had a BMI of about 18.7 at one point which is still just about within the healthy range, but I was restricting myself all the time and my periods stopped for a year. Trying to keep a BMI of 19-20 actually lead to disordered eating/ binge eating in the long run.
Even to maintain a BMI of 21-22 I have to watch myself all the time, whereas 24-25 (the top end of healthy) I can maintain easily, so that’s what I’m focusing on.

@theemmadilemma

Individuals having body confidence is not the same as fat being celebrated

If it was you wouldn't be judging them for having the audacity to be body confident