to be irrationally angry at unborn baby?

[Hungryfrogs23]

Ok, hear me out. So I definitely know I am being unreasonable. But I am just in search of some validation of being heavily pregnant and crazy hormonal I think.

So after a long road getting here (two 2nd trimester losses and a stillborn), I am pregnant with our (hopefully) 2nd child. A little girl. I couldn't be happier or feel more fortunate about that. Most of pregnancy, despite being very high risk for various health reasons, has been relatively smooth and I recognise that in so many ways I am incredibly lucky.

That is where the rational part ends. Due to a high risk pregnancy, bleeding disorder and previous stroke, I had made peace with the fact I knew I would be induced early. Induction isn't fun but it was ok, us both being safe is the main priority. HOWEVER, baby has decided she can't possibly oblige me by facing the right bloody way round! So I am 36 weeks and she is stubbornly breech/oblique/transverse. Any direction except the proper one. I literally give her life, oxygen, food, energy, waste disposal, warmth, fluids, and she can't do her ONE job?! FACE THE EXIT.

I have tried all the crazy yoga moves, the crabbing on the stairs, the bouncing on the ball, the ice pack at the top, warmth at the bottom, the playing music/shining lights, scrubbing floors, you name it, I've tried it. None of it has made a jot of difference.

I am honestly so irrationally angry at her. On account of my health conditions, an ECV isn't possible and an emergency section or attempted breech birth would also be very risky, so that only leaves me with an elective section. Due to my bleeding condition, even that isn't without higher risks, and to be brutally honest, I really, really don't want to be sliced open and have a massive wound to heal and not be able to drive or look after the baby or my older child easily. I have a real fear of surgery and all associated things.

I know all the logical things about how lucky I am, and how us both being safe is the main thing, and how I won't care once she is here. But today I have been honestly seething with rage at her, begging her to just bloody turn. I am furious.

Please help me be less crazy ragey, or at least tell me it isn't totally insane to feel this way. Or if you have a magic solution to make her move I would love to hear that too.

Is crabbing on the stairs the same as ironing board on the couch? That worked for me but I don't think I was that late- I was possibly 34 weeks.

Not unreasonable at all.

There’s still time. I’d just relax and not try any more weird hacks.

I would say however that I had an elective section with my second (after the nightmare delivery of my first) and it was an absolutely blissful experience. I genuinely enjoyed it. Recovery was ok, I was back on my feet pretty quickly. I know everyone is different right enough.

I have bleeding condition and coped ok with csection they know about it in advance so will have plans in place for transfusions etc if needed.

It is hard but if your anger is worrying you please speak to your midwife.

At 36 weeks you are allowed to be as unreasonable as you like. Good luck.

Not unreasonable in the slightest.

(I got baby no 2 to turn by cleaning the bath, a particular kind of bend is needed to get to the plug ole)

Best wishes, and good luck.

No the crabbing is walking sideways up/down stairs, but I have tried the ironing board too!

You’re heavily pregnant. There is not a single thing I would call you unreasonable about.

I am not surprised at your feelings, you must be beside yourself with frustration, I hope it all works out 💐

This, of course you are unreasonable, you are full of hormones and have had a very stressful time. Not many people would be behaving reasonably.

Not unreasonable at all.

Just remind her that you're going to be naming her, and it will entirely depend on your mood just after you give birth 🤣

I hope she gets into position soon op, and good luck with the birth. Not long now and all the angsty heavily pregnant stresses will be over and it will be scrunchy newborn snuggles all the way 💐

Not unreasonable. I had two unstable lie babies. One born via emcs after induction and the other elective as unstable lie detected at 39 weeks. my elective section was lovely overall, I was out of hospital exactly 24 hours later, up and around ok with pain relief and recovery was pretty quick. I dont know how your health conditions may interfer with an elective being a good choice, but just some reassurance that it might not be all bad (though you are of course perfectly entitled not to want one!)

Haha, thanks, this gave me a much needed giggle.
So shall I go for;
Stubborn Madam Hungryfrogs
Nosenseofdirection Hungryfrogs
or the more traditional
Giant Paininthebum Hungryfrogs

decisions....decisions...

My baby was breech until 38 weeks, I lay on my left side with a pillow between my legs, bag of peas at the top of bump and hot water at the bottom...did it religiously and she turned, there's still time xx

You're not being irrational at all. You're just scared things will go wrong and you want the safest possible delivery for both your baby and you. How you feel is completely normal, although I know it's not nice to feel this way...
If you're being induced early I'm guessing it will be at 38+ weeks, so there's still a little time for her to get into position.
Don't drive yourself crazy doing too much trying to get her to move, what's important is you're resting and preparing yourself for the upcoming labour. It's really difficult to think things won't go the way you want, they often don't go how we ideally would like during labour but what's important is that you and baby are safe, and the hospital will be fully prepared for all scenarios to get her here safely.
Trust your body, trust your baby and be open to however the delivery process needs to go.
I hope and pray it goes well for you both ♥️

I felt hacked off with one of mine OP. Would she move, would she hell. But then when they pulled her out her cord was twice around her neck, so she couldn't have got herself into position, even if she'd wanted to. Perhaps yours is the same, and she's actually really sensible rather than really stubborn!

YANBU, baby IBVU and this is not funny.

But I so hope that it feels a bit funnier when you are having this rant internally when she’s a teenager and thinking “she’s always bloody been like this”. And you’ll be meeting this little person soon!

Wow, you are all being far lovelier to me than I deserve!
Thank you, I am genuinely a bit teary at the empathy.
I think I probably need to try to relax a bit more and adopt a bit of a "what will be will be" attitude towards the whole thing. I am just frightened, frightened of things going wrong for either of us tbh.

Some women’s bodies just don’t like being pregnant. Mine didn’t.

I was very angry about it with my first. I accepted it with my second and it was much better.

My boy had an unstable lie. He changed direction 4 times in week 39. Day before ELCS a perfect foot outline appeared where the head should’ve been. 18 hours later in theatre the pre scan showed he was ceph. He was nearly 10lb and every turn was like a horror film. They’re fuckers. Just leave them to it, rest and relax and just let whatever needs to happen happen.

Being frightened is understandable, we hear you and hold out a hand.

(Hug)

You're bound to be frightened, especially after your previous losses. I'm so very sorry for your losses by the way.
Lean on your loved ones and the medical professionals for support and reassurance.
The anticipation and worry at this stage is crippling, but you'll get through this x

YANBU but I’m not sure what being this angry will achieve? Discuss with your midwife and have the safest birth possible. Having this anger won’t make any difference

Yes that’s very annoying. My baby couldn’t get his head at the right angle, so after 30 hours of labour I needed an episiotomy and forceps. Why do other babies do it no problem??

You still have time, it sounds like you're going through a really worrying time.

Some babies just will not turn. I have just managed to encourage mine to turn today after trying lots of things and the one that did it was child's pose for 30 seconds then standing up, I waited until the baby was really active and did that. Not suggesting this will work but keep trying.