to be irrationally angry at unborn baby?

[Hungryfrogs23]

Ok, hear me out. So I definitely know I am being unreasonable. But I am just in search of some validation of being heavily pregnant and crazy hormonal I think.

So after a long road getting here (two 2nd trimester losses and a stillborn), I am pregnant with our (hopefully) 2nd child. A little girl. I couldn't be happier or feel more fortunate about that. Most of pregnancy, despite being very high risk for various health reasons, has been relatively smooth and I recognise that in so many ways I am incredibly lucky.

That is where the rational part ends. Due to a high risk pregnancy, bleeding disorder and previous stroke, I had made peace with the fact I knew I would be induced early. Induction isn't fun but it was ok, us both being safe is the main priority. HOWEVER, baby has decided she can't possibly oblige me by facing the right bloody way round! So I am 36 weeks and she is stubbornly breech/oblique/transverse. Any direction except the proper one. I literally give her life, oxygen, food, energy, waste disposal, warmth, fluids, and she can't do her ONE job?! FACE THE EXIT.

I have tried all the crazy yoga moves, the crabbing on the stairs, the bouncing on the ball, the ice pack at the top, warmth at the bottom, the playing music/shining lights, scrubbing floors, you name it, I've tried it. None of it has made a jot of difference.

I am honestly so irrationally angry at her. On account of my health conditions, an ECV isn't possible and an emergency section or attempted breech birth would also be very risky, so that only leaves me with an elective section. Due to my bleeding condition, even that isn't without higher risks, and to be brutally honest, I really, really don't want to be sliced open and have a massive wound to heal and not be able to drive or look after the baby or my older child easily. I have a real fear of surgery and all associated things.

I know all the logical things about how lucky I am, and how us both being safe is the main thing, and how I won't care once she is here. But today I have been honestly seething with rage at her, begging her to just bloody turn. I am furious.

Please help me be less crazy ragey, or at least tell me it isn't totally insane to feel this way. Or if you have a magic solution to make her move I would love to hear that too.

My second baby turned on her own at 36 and a half weeks, just when I thought I might need a C section. It was like an earthquake going off inside. I hope yours does too.

Honestly you’ll forget all this 6 months down the line. My second was harder for so many reasons- my first was traumatic so I was sure this would be more so but actually I have dwelled much less on this birth than my first.

just focus on the end goal, what ever happens happens!

You've been through enough, have the elective section for the predicability and all the medical staff on standby. Think of it as your baby telling you to take the predictable route, hopefully reducing your stress.

I've had 2 c sections, the first an emergency after multiple losses and came with lots of trauma. I chose an elective section second time because the uncertainty and stress aside almost losing my eldest in several different ways was just too much unknown for me alongside some health stuff of my own.

If course you're irrational, you've been through hell and you're protecting yourself from fear. I recognise it, the unwillingness to accept there will be a baby in a few weeks and having to qualify with hopefully, maybe, if and I bet you have a back up plan for baby stuff etc if things go wrong because I did and for everyone else if something happens to you. It's all so terrifying. Odds are in your favour you'll have your baby in your arms soon. (That's said as someone who beats the statistics not in a good way regularly I appreciate that isn't really that comforting)

Good luck. Go easy on yourself

Not unreasonable at all. I hope the breech position resolves quickly. Cheering you and stubborn babe on. I had placenta previa, fortunately it resolved in time and I also had to be induced too. Wishing you the very best, op! You’re keeping your good humor, that’s good!

I completely understand your frustration. I had my birth planned in my head of how it would go my determined daughter decided to throw all of that out of the window and decided to join us 11 weeks early.

Sterioid jags, magnesium sulphate and an emergency C-section later my very fiesty daughter was born. I am still traumatised by it and would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly bitter about my experience. Even although she’s currently doing great, we have a long road ahead and I have sat thinking, you had one job you lil diva.

I also had a terrible pregnancy and was terrified the full duration. Your feelings are very valid big hugs 💕

It could all change in a matter of seconds. My baby breeched and then unbreeched really quickly in the labour room. Give a few wiggles!

Hugs and 💐for you.

Lol I didn’t notice your username, and initially thought that you were actually planning to name her Something Hungryfrogs.

There have been moments when I have thought my unborn child might indeed have been several Macarena-dancing hungry frogs.

You be as unreasonable as you like, at 36 weeks most of us done what ever we had to do to get through

You're not unreasonable, and I know you're higher risk, but I've had two sections and though it was tough at the time it's nothing now, I don't think about it when I look at my DDs.

Good luck with it all!

oh lovely I hear you! I had twins and baby girl lay spread eagled over the “opening” for thé entire time. “Oh they will turn they will turn” yeah they did. They decided to both put their feet down and their heads under my ribs, little shits. I still call them names about it and they are 3. I wish you all the best.
dxxx

Have you tried moxibustion? I think that's what it's called. Something to do with candles or warmth or something. It worked for my mate.

Not unreasonable at all. They all have potential for twattery at this point. I thought my middle child was a rotisserie chicken impersonator, damn child refused to maintain any semblance of calm and comfortable positioning. Decided to put his head down when it mattered though, so I’m hoping for similar from your baby. Luck!

Elective sections are a wonderful thing. I also found the recovery really easy and certainly didn’t have a massive wound to deal with. Consider it a blessing in disguise. Good luck.

If it helps, an elective c section is a calm and lovely way of giving birth (did I really just say that? Getting sawed open by a bunch of strangers on a table is calm and lovely? Well yes it was compared to my first birth experience), and the 4 weeks of not being able to lift much flies by and you can still do the important mum bits (cuddles and feeding)and then the wound is smaller and faster healing than you’d think.

Still, I will have my fingers crossed you get the birth you want!

My boy was the same! Get her sliced out safely. Sending very best wishes 😊

Moxibustion?

What a tough time you’ve had, you’re allowed to feel anything you feel

YANBU, unborn babies are so selfish. With both of my children I swore blind the entire pregnancies I wouldn’t have c-sections, both of mine were breech so I had no choice. According to my first, it’s because “coming out of the vagina is just disgusting” (one day I’ll break the news about how disgusting the entire process is). I’m sorry OP. I hope it all goes safely for you and you, it’s upsetting when things don’t go to plan, especially after hard times.

^^This!

Completely reasonable. My DD turned very late - I remember her pointy elbow outline. She still has pointy elbows…

fingers crossed she moves but an elective may be a good thing.

Get used to it. Neither do they appreciate our need for more than two hours sleep a night, the hours spent pureeing bloody sweet potato, the impact on our career, etc etc. It's all about them and their needs, proper selfish they are.

I hope she does decide to shift soon. All the best, please update the thread after you've given birth!

Mine cracked my rib stretching out before he was born "getting into position" they said I might have swore a bit 😅

It will work out

Massively outing but DD1 was breech at 36 weeks. I am a musician and played a concert where my large string instrument was resting on the bump - her head. The deep vibrations did their job and she flipped over during the concert.

OP, book yourself a double bass lesson. It doesn't hurt, is completely safe and hopefully you'll relax & baby will turn. For the record, DD1 studied at Cambridge and is now part-way through a PhD there so no discernible harm done to her.

Why is is massively outing? Do you regard yourself a celebrity on Mumsnet?? Its not like you started a thread with this in the title is it? You've just written a post, on the 2nd page from the original poster.

Do you twitch curtains as well to see if the paparazzi are after you? 😆

If it is any comfort I had a (semi) elective c section- induction didn't work I never got past 1cm dilation and it was a lovely calm experience! They do a bikini line cut now my scar healed beautifully and you can barely see it now. I was home after two days and going for walks with the pram after about 6 days x good luck x