Bank of mum and dad

[squidwid]

To think it's very hard to have it all, house, kids without the help of bank of mum and dad nowadays?

Actually, that's not entirely true. I was able to live at home while saving for a house deposit, which was a huge help.

Same but many overlook this, it's a massive help!

Well, you mentioned 'the South'. So most of the jobs must be in London, yes? If not London then replace with 'major city', where all the jobs are.

I agree that people need to have reasonable expectations, but there's a limit to the 'cheaper area' move. It's a bit better now, with remote working. But some people think that not wanting to have a 2+ hour daily commute is entitled.

Cheap housing is so for a reason.

It’s not that hard, it’s just people aren’t willing to compromise or sacrifice anymore.

That's bullshit, the main issue is the age of FTBs. Someone in their 30s with a dc on the way obviously has different housing needs to someone who is early 20s

Now people want several foreign holidays a year, flashy car, latest apple products and TVs and multiple subscriptions and then complain they can't afford things

🙄

Also stamp duty makes the cost of moving £££

They are not stupid. But if you are young and read in newspapers all the time how your age group will never do it without significant help, it does demotivate a lot. I met people saying "what's the point" until I actually did calculation with them to show there is certainly a point in our location.

London isn't the only place people commute to

That was me and it meant that not everywhere is expensive as is in south. My bad there

Surely as grown ups and parents, we need to teach our children to be self sufficient and not set the example that you expect others to constantly bail you out.

The Bank of mum & dad prop up house prices

you mean when many people bought houses on 100% mortgages before fixed deals were commonplace and saw interest rates climb to almost 15%? Yeah they had a ball

at least they had miras

Well I've had the opposite experience, people are trying to do it despite what the papers say.
Some people are motivated, others are lazy, look for excuses and need handholding.

🤣🤣🤣 you always rock up on these threads about post about your city pad and your Wimbledon pad until people take notice of you.

Well I hope it is possible without it, because I don't have money to give my DC like that.

It’s hard but doable. In my opinion the issue is they still want holidays abroad, latest gadgets, newish car etc, going out . However if they forgo those for a couple of years, saved hard, accepted second hand furniture when they moved in it’s doable

My kids are managing better than I was at their age.
On 26 and the other 23.
Both have partners and mortgages.
The both have good jobs. Both are saying they don't want children. Whether they change their minds in the future is up to them.
I've not contributed with deposits. I've bought a few things for each house but that's it. I occasionally pay for family meals as a treat but they take us out thses days!

The bank of mum and dad is positively encouraged nowadays. If you earn a decent whack, your ADULT children are not allowed to borrow as much money to pay for their own accommodation as someone whose parents earn less.

Talking about uni students...

I agree entirely with you.

I always heard the same. Then learned, that that isn't the case at all.

I always find it tough to take that my sister gets everything bought for her by our parents and when they stop, her boyfriend will take over. Yet she is seen as more successful than me because she has a partner. She is 31.

I thinknit depends on hat you want.
When I started out I had a 2nd hand car, an end of terrace house costing £300 a month on a £1000 month salary. Staying I was the new going put. Takeaways eating out were a treat not the norm. My mobile bill was £10 a month. I still had holidays and clothes.
My now 24 year old son thinks he'll never afford a house. He earns £2300 take home a month has a nearly new car ( £10000 cash plus a small loan from us) he could save for a deposit but spend too much on shite. A mortgage and utility bills would be about 1k over 30 years. It's priorities.

I received indirect financial help: full grant for university, no university fees, graduated with no debt and parents didn’t expect me to contribute during university holidays therefore able to save money from holiday work.

Having a partner makes a big difference. Many of the women I know would not be able to buy or rent alone. We are in London.
I know a lot of 20-40 year olds who still live at home. No shame in it now, if you live in expensive areas, it is incredibly difficult.

Helping your child to start in adult life is absolutely fine. Give a man a fish versus teach a man to fish and all that!

I've given a lot of support, financial and otherwise to get my son through Uni. He's starting a graduate job in Summer in a different (expensive) city and his starting salary won't pay his living costs so I'll be chipping in with his living costs for the first year or so. His wage will rise rapidly with experience and taking professional exams, so after a year, he'll be on a more substantial wage and will be able to afford his own living costs - at this stage, the "bank of Mum and Dad" runs dry. He knows all this and his happy. If he comes cap in hand to us in 5/10/15 years time after screwing things up, losing his job, marrying a gold-digger, wasting money on unnecessary luxuries, then he'l be disappointed, as the money simply won't be there for us to bail him out.

It's completely possible but you have to be prepared to make sacrifices, be flexible and open to moving to new locations. I also think lots of people want things because they see it....latest phone, clothes etc and put way too much things on credit rather then saving.

DH and I have never had bank of mum and dad or childcare available we pay for private nursery its bloody expensive!
We rented for years living very cheaply to save for a house. We lived with freecycle furniture for 4 years.

But we both have also moved around the country based on jobs but also house affordability.

I know what you mean.

We (husband and I). were always helped in that way but did not have very rich parents so it was small amounts of money and gifts which were extremely welcome and appreciated.

In turn we helped ours but with quite a lot of money. I am pleased to say it was money well spent and I am not called upon to do so now. I know I could ask mine if I was in need but wouldn't want to and can't see it happening.

Whatever parents do we all end up fairly independent in the end.

DH and I are far more financially successful than our parents, but we are early 40s so perhaps one of the last generation to be able to be. Never needed any help with house deposits or uni costs (my own parents couldn't have afforded it).

We have a lot of investments now and one reason I want to build up a good sum of assets is to be able to help out our dcs. We max out their savings and plan to give money for housing, uni and weddings. It just makes sense from a tax point of view - if you keep it all until you're dead, then it get taxed at inheritance tax rates. We live in London so it would cost a lot for them to live near us.