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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there's no upper age limit to wear jeans?

181 replies

RandomGeocache · 28/04/2023 08:13

My mum has always had some weird ideas about what's age appropriate for adults. Women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, for example.

She was telling me yesterday about having lunch with a friend who is in her 80s and turned up wearing jeans. "What's she doing wearing jeans at her age?" I suggested that she might be happy wearing jeans and comfortable in them and that there isn't an age limit. Oh yes there are, says Mum, "older people" shouldn't be wearing jeans.

Weirdo, isn't she?

OP posts:
Worldwide2 · 30/04/2023 07:06

I'm 35 really really long hair and constantly in jeans they are my go to. Your mum would definitely disapprove of me 😏
I think some of the older generation have quite a restricted view of certain things. I don't think there are any rules for any age.

Original poster
RandomGeocache · 30/04/2023 08:54

Mum lives in a small village will limited shopping opportunities in the nearest town and doesn't "do" online. She is also quite attached to the Damart catalogue.

I'm sure she wore jeans when we were small kids in the 70s. She must have. But certainly hasn't since about 1980, when she would have been about 34.

OP posts:
TeaserandtheFirecat · 30/04/2023 09:13

I love me a Damart catalogue! such a cosy browse. Haven't had one for years,sadly.

Mamma2017 · 30/04/2023 09:15

Definitely a generational thing “women should/women should not” it’s sad really but does reflect the ingrained societal message. This judgment and pressure on women is a bit better now but obviously still a lonnnng way to go!
I remember my grandma being absolutely aghast that I had a bar job at 20 (women should not be that side of a bar that’s disgusting) and also saying that skirts should not be above knee height after age 20! It’s hilarious and I laugh at that now but actually quite sad when you really think about what women have had to put up with (and these things being the lesser of expectations)
Its all nonsense and the sooner people stop the judgment on others altogether the better.

Rosula · 30/04/2023 09:32

Mamma2017 · 30/04/2023 09:15

Definitely a generational thing “women should/women should not” it’s sad really but does reflect the ingrained societal message. This judgment and pressure on women is a bit better now but obviously still a lonnnng way to go!
I remember my grandma being absolutely aghast that I had a bar job at 20 (women should not be that side of a bar that’s disgusting) and also saying that skirts should not be above knee height after age 20! It’s hilarious and I laugh at that now but actually quite sad when you really think about what women have had to put up with (and these things being the lesser of expectations)
Its all nonsense and the sooner people stop the judgment on others altogether the better.

Given that there are loads of older men and women happily wearing jeans, how is this a generational thing?

Fansandblankets · 30/04/2023 09:43

My mum is mid 70’s up and wears jeans all the time even coloured ones. My dad is 80 and lives in jeans, not sure he owns anything else tbh! I’m 51 and have waist length hair . No intention of ever cutting it.

Mamma2017 · 30/04/2023 09:58

Rosula · 30/04/2023 09:32

Given that there are loads of older men and women happily wearing jeans, how is this a generational thing?

Show quote history

The attitude that you can’t wear certain things over a certain age is usually a generational attitude in my experience because it often comes from someone of an older generation. Hear me say “often” not “always”

Original poster
RandomGeocache · 30/04/2023 10:02

I also think it's a throwback to my mum's own mum who was born pre-WW1.

OP posts:
Kankanlexi · 30/04/2023 10:32

My dad never let me ( or my brothers)wear jeans as a child, ( dad was a tailor). We grew up having to wear mini tailored suits ( mine included jacket, waistcoat, 2 skirts - a line and straight, and a pair of trousers ). The trousers wear only allowed if we were riding bikes etc. As a girl, I was only allowed pastel colours, skirts, pretty blouses, dresses, etc. I had to have long hair. T-bar shoes, and ankle socks, even in my teens. Then had to change to high heels in my teens.
However, I was told after having kids, I should cut my hair short ,as it gets in the way with kids. I just tied it back, which just annoyed my dad even more. ( said it didn't suit me, made me look fat).
In my mid 50's now, and wear jeans every day, bright tops, hoodies, Converse, long hair, dye my hair ( another no with my dad).
He disagrees with it all. He thinks I should look like a stepford wife.

Bbq1 · 30/04/2023 10:40

Doggymummar · 28/04/2023 08:50

My mum was the same re long hair on over 30s I had mine cut and regretted it. When I wasn't pregnant by 28 she said you wouldn't eat a 28 year old egg so why do you think it will make a decent child. She had me and my brother at 21 and 22.

I never did have children as I was so affected by this comment, which I now realise was rediculous.

What a sick comment from your mum. Vile.

Chocolateeggs · 30/04/2023 10:41

Anne Hathaway is 40 not 30. 30 is very young, these comments are crazy!

ShowUs · 30/04/2023 10:44

Mamma2017 · 30/04/2023 09:15

Definitely a generational thing “women should/women should not” it’s sad really but does reflect the ingrained societal message. This judgment and pressure on women is a bit better now but obviously still a lonnnng way to go!
I remember my grandma being absolutely aghast that I had a bar job at 20 (women should not be that side of a bar that’s disgusting) and also saying that skirts should not be above knee height after age 20! It’s hilarious and I laugh at that now but actually quite sad when you really think about what women have had to put up with (and these things being the lesser of expectations)
Its all nonsense and the sooner people stop the judgment on others altogether the better.

I completely agree.

My Gran called someone a fat tart because she wore a skirt above her knee and she should know better at her age.
This was about 25 years ago and I was only young and I didn’t understand.

My grab never wore trousers. It was always a long skirt with a petticoat.

It’s sad that so many women are so judgemental of other women.

I think we are slowly getting more tolerant of each other and women are more supportive and less in competition with each other nowadays.

We are definitely not there yet though as you only need to read the numerous threads on here slating the OW and not the man who cheated.

Twisting · 30/04/2023 11:02

I think for a lot of our grans ( the ones born interwar period), they would have grown up in an era where trousers for women were at the very least, frowned upon. My gran was the pleated skirt and jumper brigade, with a headscarf. My other gran was a bit younger and less conformist. She ventured into trousers in her 60s. Grandad never wore a t shirt; always a shirt. Even when doing his car or the garden.

I had a wobble at 30, when I had dc. I thought I should stop wearing such short skirts because i was old and had children, so frumped it up for a while. By my mid 30s , I realised I was ridiculous and was wasting my great legs, so they came out again.

Hankunamatata · 30/04/2023 11:05

Meh. I live in jeggings, been told they are not cool for 40 something. Don't care. Comfy and practical as have pockets that leggings don't

Iwantmyoldnameback · 30/04/2023 11:11

Hankunamatata · 30/04/2023 11:05

Meh. I live in jeggings, been told they are not cool for 40 something. Don't care. Comfy and practical as have pockets that leggings don't

Snag leggings have pockets.

Mamma2017 · 30/04/2023 11:24

Twisting · 30/04/2023 11:02

I think for a lot of our grans ( the ones born interwar period), they would have grown up in an era where trousers for women were at the very least, frowned upon. My gran was the pleated skirt and jumper brigade, with a headscarf. My other gran was a bit younger and less conformist. She ventured into trousers in her 60s. Grandad never wore a t shirt; always a shirt. Even when doing his car or the garden.

I had a wobble at 30, when I had dc. I thought I should stop wearing such short skirts because i was old and had children, so frumped it up for a while. By my mid 30s , I realised I was ridiculous and was wasting my great legs, so they came out again.

Ah good for you, you felt the pressure at first but then broke the cycle! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Hankunamatata · 30/04/2023 11:34

Iwantmyoldnameback · 30/04/2023 11:11

Snag leggings have pockets.

Show quote history

Oow off to have a look

UrsulaBelle · 30/04/2023 11:54

My mum, who would be 92 now, never wore jeans. Neither did my dad. They considered them working clothes for manual work from their youth and then young people’s fashion in the 1960s and 1970s when they were in their 30s and 40s. My dad always wore a suit to work and even when casual he wore shirts with a collar. In the summer he might wear a polo shirt with a collar and old men’s beige, baggy trousers. Mum did wear leggings for a few years in her later life, but mostly ‘slacks.’

Mum was of the shampoo and set generation. She had to have her hair curled. She never dictated what I wore or styled my hair, though.

I grew up with jeans being the uniform of all youth so I can’t see myself ever giving them up. I can’t wear them to work, but I do wear them pretty much every weekend.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/04/2023 12:06

wow - that reminded me of my mum.
She never wore jeans in her life (v short mini skirts 60's/70's, & was obsessed with appearing young) but for some reason she disliked my best friends DM, no idea why, she rarely met her. She always referred to her as "That woman who wears jeans" - even 40 years later when I'd call in to visit friends DM if I went down to see my parents.
Never came up with others, friends DM was the only school mum who was older/similar age to her, and jeans "not ladylike" apparently.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/04/2023 12:18

Given that there are loads of older men and women happily wearing jeans, how is this a generational thing?

My mum would have been 91 now, as a PP has mentioned, there was a very definite attitude that Jeans were for people doing manual work - and indicated lower/working class. My Dad did manual work - but always wore a suit out of work.

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor · 30/04/2023 12:19

RandomGeocache · 28/04/2023 08:13

My mum has always had some weird ideas about what's age appropriate for adults. Women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, for example.

She was telling me yesterday about having lunch with a friend who is in her 80s and turned up wearing jeans. "What's she doing wearing jeans at her age?" I suggested that she might be happy wearing jeans and comfortable in them and that there isn't an age limit. Oh yes there are, says Mum, "older people" shouldn't be wearing jeans.

Weirdo, isn't she?

What age does she think we all need to ditch our jeans and fill our wardrobes with polyester slacks, nylon blouses, woolly cardigans and sensible shoes?

Not happening here, I'm not getting rid of my old comfy jeans and trainers. 😀

I've been trying to find a replacement pair of comfortable long cargo shorts (wore the old ones out last summer) but I can't seem to find any.

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor · 30/04/2023 12:22

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor · 30/04/2023 12:19

What age does she think we all need to ditch our jeans and fill our wardrobes with polyester slacks, nylon blouses, woolly cardigans and sensible shoes?

Not happening here, I'm not getting rid of my old comfy jeans and trainers. 😀

I've been trying to find a replacement pair of comfortable long cargo shorts (wore the old ones out last summer) but I can't seem to find any.

Show quote history

BTW I'm late 50's, if that's relevant.

GretaGood · 30/04/2023 12:23

Jeans are a shade of blue (I know you get other colours but mainly they are blue) so quite a cold colour, especially the faded ones - so how many people who don’t have a golden tan suit blue jeans - not many.

Segway16 · 30/04/2023 12:26

My Grandmother is 85 and lives in jeans. She’s quite fashion conscious, actually. Both my Grandmother and my Mother have had short hair for as long as I can remember though.

At 40, I still have very long hair and wear jeans all the time. It wouldn’t occur to me that I’m required to have short hair or to wear more age-appropriate clothing. I’m not sure what that would be, to be honest. Perhaps a twin set…

Original poster
RandomGeocache · 30/04/2023 12:51

GretaGood · 30/04/2023 12:23

Jeans are a shade of blue (I know you get other colours but mainly they are blue) so quite a cold colour, especially the faded ones - so how many people who don’t have a golden tan suit blue jeans - not many.

This wins the prize for the weirdest comment on the thread.

OP posts: