To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

But it's fine for a man to take a little girl into the men's with him.
That doesn't make the men in there uncomfortable at all.

Men's comfort is really the least important issue here. People of either sex don't have a reasonable expectation of privacy from very small children of the opposite sex.

This….after 4 large ish babies I have a terribly unreliable pelvic floor, if there’s a queue at the ladies I will take a free disabled toilet…or am I expected to just piss myself and be wet for the remainder of the day 🙄.

not all disabilities are obvious!

My boys refused point blank once they got to school age to come in the women’s. I was a bit wobbly as there was a serious sexual assault on a 4 year old boy in our local Asda so that these things happen seemed real iyswim, even though that man was caught. I used to wait outside and it would be in busy places so there would be men going in and out so felt it was as safe as I could make it. All fine thankfully

This made me laugh 😂 cause if you don't laugh you'll cry right

She's four. She should accompany him into the men's. There's no such thing these days as a "urinal only toilet", the days when the only public facilities were a cast iron pissoir are long gone. What "bits" do you think that she's going to see? There will be a row of men with their backs to the room, that's about all.
https://1000awesomethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/urinal-etiquette.jpg

No, she shouldn't be occupying the accessible toilet where an alternative is available. Regarding baby changing facilities, most venues have moved with the times and provide them in all three toilets.

I’m not sure men or other boys would want a female seeing them at the urinals

YABU, I was spied on by a boy around this age in the ladies changing room when I was a teen. It was awful and he shouldn’t have been there.

All this fuss about trans women in changing rooms but my terrible experiences in this regard have been exclusively with men and boys.

I agree with this

Predatory males find their way into the women's toilets too.
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/courts/866968/sex-offender-who-targeted-young-children-in-fife-supermarket-toilets-given-jail-warning-for-breaching-strict-community-order/

Are there dodgy weirdos in all toilets?! 😳

But if you have a disability where you need to get to the loo very quickly then able-bodied people using them does make it much more likely that the disabled person has to wait.
Of course disabled toilets are exclusively for disabled people (except in the circumstances where businesses decide to chuck the baby changing table in there too and add a sticker to the door - which isn't really acceptable). Many need a key to access.

Not sure anyone would be thrilled to see you standing top less in a public toilet area tbf.

@VivienneDelacroix a lot of accessible toilets also have baby changing facilities

I think the ones that are only reserved for those with disabilities are the key radar ones.

people policing the disabled toilets on here are very weird especially as in real life disabled people are often the most helpful (in my experience) and considerate

Piss off with that. It isn't inconsiderate of us to not want the only toilets we can use co-opted by overanxious parents or those who can't be bothered to put up with a few minutes of inconvenience while they lift a child out of a pram. Our lives are fucking full of inconviencies day in, day out, and will remain so long after your children are independent. Stay out of the disabled toilets unless you're disabled, and let us have one tiny little thing designed to make one area of our lives not quite so hard.

My children don't use the disabled toilets because erm they're not disabled. I let them use public toilets as soon as they were old enough to use a toilet (and clean/dress independently). I'd just wait outside if child was opposite gender, dad did same.
They were probably about 10/11 before they would confidently walk to a toilet in a pub, eg nipping upstairs in Whetherspoons without me needing to walk to the actual toilet with them.

It was situationally dependant for me. From 8-10yo I’d send them in to the men’s loo in places I deemed safe such as really busy shopping centres at peak time where I knew they would be pretty crowded (as evidenced by lots of men in/out constantly). I figured it would be hard for someone to do something nefarious when it was crowded with men. However, a toilet in a shopping centre during slow times when I didn’t see people going in/out frequently, or a quiet toilet in a park, no way, I’d take them into the ladies. I’d even do that until around 13yo if I really deemed the situation unsafe, just like I would have never sent my daughter into a quiet isolated toilet in a park by herself. All common sense. Wasn’t an issue after my first boy as I’d just send him with the later ones if we were all out together.

I do t get the hysteria about boys in women’s toilets and invading ‘safe spaces’ and why should little girls (in cubicles) have to put up with mothers taking boys in. It’s being outraged for the sake of it. All children deserve to be safe, no matter their sex and I can’t see a 10yo boy who is in the ladies loo with his mum breaking down cubicle doors and raping women.

EmmatheStageRat · Yesterday 22:09

All the dodgy weirdos are now in the women’s toilets.

I'm beginning to see what @EmmatheStageRat meant now

I often use the men’s toilet myself if there’s a long queue to the ladies and when DS is old enough I’ll just take him with me.

Absolutely agree. Hated my son going in the men's when he was younger and would get worried if he was in there ages. But we can't have it both ways.

You can't think of anything? I know of at least three local park loos that have have a quite unsavoury reputation - and they are next to children's playgrounds and a swimming pool. When kids are little, it can be difficult to convince them to hold on rather than use those facilities.

I always knock and see if anyone in there. Then I will enter with the boys and stand by the door. Take them as a group and ask any other adults if they would mind waiting for a few minutes. On a trip identifying where children can use toilets etc is part of risk assessment?

In what crazy world are teens now being encouraged to use the facilities for the opposite sex?! 8 is the usual acceptable age, it’s on the parent to find an alternative if not happy with this, it’s not for the people using the correct sex facilities to give up their right to this

I judged it by where we were...

For example, there is a pub near us where the toilet doors are really heavy wood and there was a time where DS was starting to ask to go by himself but there was no way he could open the door by himself so I couldn't let him go to the men's alone.

Similarly, our local cinema toilets, the door handle is really high up so at 6/7, he couldn't reach it and pull it at the same time.

Otherwise I was happy to let him go alone when he started to want to.

"Predatory males prey on young boys, mens toilets are not safe when an older, stronger male can over power a child, especially a 9 year old."

This is so true.

I wouldn't feel safe letting a young child go alone into public toilets in a city centre. Completely different in a restaurant, family pub, even a supermarket but not manky, dirty, and quite often littered with used condoms and drug paraphernalia public toilets.

You beat me to it lol