To say it's harder with young kids?

[Wfhandbored]

Parenting is hard all round. It's fucking hard. I'm not trying to say that it isn't. I am finding though that parents of adult children forget what it is like in the trenches with young babies/toddler age children. My day to day is full time (stressful) work, raising kids, running a home and getting about 5 hours sleep a night because my child still doesn't understand sleep as a concept. At this age it's quite often survival. Loving them to bits but just getting through steps in your day and then being too tired to dedicate some time to look after YOU once your baby is asleep.

Now here's the thing. I have some friends with older kids, as in grown up age. They're telling me they have it harder and I am just flabbergasted that it is even a competition to begin with, or that it could possibly get harder??

The stresses are different and very real, that I do believe. But I also know these women have time for a proper shower. Get holidays when they can lie down for extended periods. Have time to breathe. Don't spend their day so tired that they're on the edge of tears 2 days out of 3

AIBU to say they're forgetting the reality of young kids and minimising?

Until your children are older you can't really say. Everyone is different just as each child is different.
I certainly found the middle/teenage years much more difficult emotionally and more tiring. To make it more difficult people who didn't have children or only had young children had little or no sympathy as they believed that things should be easier now my kids were older.
And I remember every sleepless night and tantrum from when my children were toddlers. I still found the later years much more difficult.

I think it depends on your children also. I remember being absolutely knackered when my 2 were little, surviving on very little sleep and managing 2 DCs that were extremely high energy. Now they are 15 and 18 and now I have much more time to myself and sleep but the emotional side of parenting is much harder. My DD got in with a bad crowd last year and it was awful, we are hopefully coming out the other side but I’ve got friends whose teenagers can’t go to school due to bad anxiety, some that out out drinking and taking drugs, self harm etc and these are all DCs that when they were little you wouldn’t have imagined would have problems. But obviously there are plenty of older children who don’t have these issues too.

I remember when mine were young wishing they were older as they would be easier and physically it’s much easier but emotionally I have found the teenage years much harder.

My DC are much harder now at 18 and 16 than they were as toddlers.

Ooops. Didn't mean to post that Gif!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Gif made my morning tbh!

More worries I think op. My dd 17. Late nights drinking etc. Safety getting home. Feel am more stressed now elderly needy mother plus teens. But yes small kids not easy either. Then lack of sleep.

I never understood how women would say they couldn't fit a shower in - why not? Put baby in cot (or babies), or in a travel cot near the bathroom so you can see them, then go for it! If the baby cries for a few minutes that's fine.
But anyway. You have not experienced teenagers. I can tell you it's not the physical aspect for sure, but the psychological toll can be immense. I'd much rather have four kids in nappies than two teenagers having a hard time. Some sail through adolescence, but as a mum of a 17 and 19 year old, and all my friends with kids of similar age, not one has lived through it unscathed. Add covid too - my daughter was absolutely fine, for my son it was a disaster. I saw a happy, confident 15 year old become an anxious, angry, depressed 17 year old.
And wait til that first love break up, collecting your kid drunk from a party, that dabble with drugs, pregnancy scare, at the same time as GCSE and A level and what the hell am I doing in the future. Bullying, friendship group issues. Car accident (or in my sons case motorcycle accident when he called me from 70 miles away in tears with no money for a taxi and no ambulances (he had broken a couple bones).
The frightened phone call from your daughter as she realises she's got herself in a bad situation.
Give me babies/toddlers any day.

I've got later teens now and if I could have the little kid days back I would.

It's physically harder when they are little, but I have found the teenage years way way harder. Mental health, suicide attempts, exam and friendship pressures. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, way harder than when they were young and I had 4 under 4 so thought it was quite tough at the time.