Page 2 | Mrs, Ms or Miss: why do forms require women reveal their marital status and not men?

Joystir59 · 27/04/2023 06:54

Ludlow2 · 27/04/2023 06:27

That's it really.

Why do women have to reveal this and not men?
Isn't it time we changed this.

Indeed

GoFasterKnickers · 27/04/2023 06:55

Magnetoincognito · 27/04/2023 06:43

It's why I'm doing a doctorate. So I don't have that issue any more!

Fucking love this! ✌🏼

And obvs everyone will assume you’re a bloke on paper. 🤦🏻‍♀️

GoFasterKnickers · 27/04/2023 06:56

I was Ms when single and Ms after marriage.

Fuck off getting stealth intel about me.

GrumpyPanda · 27/04/2023 06:58

wrinkleintime · 27/04/2023 06:32

Some women are very much in favour of holding onto the titles.

I use 'Ms' and suggested on another thread that all women should just start doing this. I was completely shot down by people who like being 'Mrs'. So, it's a tricky one.

Pretty sure they didn't merely "like" being Mrs but are "proud of it." Never really got that one.

zizza · 27/04/2023 06:58

lollh · 27/04/2023 06:48

But 'Ms' doesn't reveal your marital status... you literally have an option right there.

Exactly this. To the person/people saying why do you l women have to reveal their marital status.... they don't. Just choose Ms. Women have choices - we can choose which title we want to use.

PermanentTemporary · 27/04/2023 07:02

Agreed Ms is there so you/I can keep our marital status private. Plenty of women dislike it and forcing people to comply is generally a bad idea.

Hilariously some people think it means divorced though.

wrinkleintime · 27/04/2023 07:03

zizza · 27/04/2023 06:58

Exactly this. To the person/people saying why do you l women have to reveal their marital status.... they don't. Just choose Ms. Women have choices - we can choose which title we want to use.

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Quite a lot of people who know me will assume I'm "Mrs" now that I'm married even though I tell them I am "Ms".

I often get letters addressed "Mrs Husband's Name" when actually I am "Ms My Maiden Name".

It's annoying that there's that assumption because I am female. My husband has never once had a letter addressed "Mr My Name".

I think it would just be better if it were the same for men and women, but maybe its slowly moving in that direction. Most people I know in their 20s/ 30s have chosen "Ms".

AwaaFaeHom · 27/04/2023 07:04

I've been Ms for thirty years, precisely because it's the 'neutral' version.

Simianwalk · 27/04/2023 07:04

I try and avoid it all together and just give my names. I then use Ms. Why do we need titles? I hate being called Ms (or Mrs) Walk sounds so old fashioned. Even my 80 year old mother doesn't like it.

lljkk · 27/04/2023 07:05

Ms doesn't reveal your marital status. That's the point of it. It means nothing other than adult (probably).

I thought feminism was about "choice"

GoodChat · 27/04/2023 07:05

I don't like Ms just because it sounds shit and looks shit.
I'll stick with Miss.

RobinaHood · 27/04/2023 07:06

What do you think Ms is for?

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 27/04/2023 07:06

I'm divorced and go by Mrs. Don't like Ms. It's no one's business whether I'm married or not and I don't care about what they think. I just prefer Mrs.

wrinkleintime · 27/04/2023 07:08

The thing is, even 'Ms' isn't quite the equivalent of 'Mr'.

There is this undertone of awkwardness around people choosing 'Ms' and even an assumption that you are divorced or widowed.

It has connotations that 'Mr' does not.

That's why it would be better to move towards having one title, equivalent to what men have.

I have chosen 'Ms' as the most 'equal' however it's still not ideal.

littleburn · 27/04/2023 07:10

I'd approach the problem from the other end and require men have a range of titles that reveal their marital status. Including a neutral title for those who don't think it's anyones business what their marital status is, of course! I mean I don't think it'd be popular, but fairs fair. 😁

BarbaraofSeville · 27/04/2023 07:10

araiwa · 27/04/2023 06:41

I too want to remove choices from women

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It's not a choice, it's an irritation, and one that men don't have to deal with.

Original poster

Ludlow2 · 27/04/2023 07:10

I was once seen by a doctor and I had used the title Ms on a form.
He told me that is wrong and I should use Mrs as Ms was for divorced women.

OP posts:

AwaaFaeHom · 27/04/2023 07:11

I've never felt awkward using 'Ms'. And the more people that choose to use it, the less awkward some people might feel about it.

People can assume what they like about me. I don't mind them being wrong.

strawberryfluff · 27/04/2023 07:11

littleburn · 27/04/2023 07:10

I'd approach the problem from the other end and require men have a range of titles that reveal their marital status. Including a neutral title for those who don't think it's anyones business what their marital status is, of course! I mean I don't think it'd be popular, but fairs fair. 😁

Yes I agree

DustyLee123 · 27/04/2023 07:12

Ludlow2 · 27/04/2023 07:10

I was once seen by a doctor and I had used the title Ms on a form.
He told me that is wrong and I should use Mrs as Ms was for divorced women.

When I was a child unmarried older women used Ms, so he is wrong.

Mutabiliss · 27/04/2023 07:14

User1234567891011121314 · 27/04/2023 06:50

I was thinking about this yesterday when filling out a form. Sometimes it even reverts back and auto fills my maiden name so I just leave it at that ! I never knew Ms was someone who just didn't want to say if they were married or not.

What did you think Ms was then?

I find it so weird when this comes up on Mumsnet. I've been Ms since I was old enough to understand what it all meant - probably 17ish? Why on earth should anyone need to know my marital status when they don't know men's? I feel so strongly about it, and honestly cannot imagine why on earth any woman changes to Mrs.

Aslanplustwo · 27/04/2023 07:16

How is someone revealing their marital status if they choose Ms? You actually have a choice. I personally couldn't care less - and it beats me why some people get so upset about it.

ArcticSkewer · 27/04/2023 07:16

Ludlow2 · 27/04/2023 07:10

I was once seen by a doctor and I had used the title Ms on a form.
He told me that is wrong and I should use Mrs as Ms was for divorced women.

Doctors aren't experts in that field then.

Ms was invented so women had a title that didn't relate to their marital status.

My kids primary school teacher also thought it meant divorced. Standards these days!

strawberryfluff · 27/04/2023 07:17

Mutabiliss · 27/04/2023 07:14

What did you think Ms was then?

I find it so weird when this comes up on Mumsnet. I've been Ms since I was old enough to understand what it all meant - probably 17ish? Why on earth should anyone need to know my marital status when they don't know men's? I feel so strongly about it, and honestly cannot imagine why on earth any woman changes to Mrs.

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When I was at school I was told Ms was someone who was divorced. I now know that's not the case.

strawberryfluff · 27/04/2023 07:17

ArcticSkewer · 27/04/2023 07:16

Doctors aren't experts in that field then.

Ms was invented so women had a title that didn't relate to their marital status.

My kids primary school teacher also thought it meant divorced. Standards these days!

Show quote history

Cross posted