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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this looks awful?! Grazing table....

288 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/04/2023 01:05

Posted by a local pub for an event ..... wouldn't be able to eat a thing if I was going! All those hands in there, not to mention how far over you'd have to lean to get to the food in the middle and the worst bit? This will sit there for at least 12 hours before the event which is surely not within food hygiene regulations and it will taste awful!

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 27/04/2023 03:28

It possibly will wait in a cool room?
It looks delicious; forks and serving plates and napkins would surely also be there.
I could see it working with the guests rotating around the table and then sitting down with their loaded plate.

bugbugMNthx · 27/04/2023 03:35

PerryMenno · 27/04/2023 02:47

I love a good buffet, and have many handy tips to share about how to optimise one's buffet performance

Grin

A kindred spirit!

  1. no carby fillers (I will make an exception for really fabulous bread that's a dish in and of itself)
  2. eat things that are expensive - seafood, good cheese
  3. eat things you can't/won't cook at home
  4. Coke to keep you burping and freeing up space
  5. long breaks between courses, don't rush it

Back to that abomination on the table though - nope! A nightmare for allergy sufferers for starters. They could achieve the same effect using little plates and pots at different heights and there'd be much less of a mess after the first few people went in.

Are you me? 😁

6 . Eat slowly enough that by the time you might feel feel full, you're already digesting. Theoretically, it would be possible to keep eating indefinitely.

Münchner · 27/04/2023 03:58

Looks fine to me. Typical neurotic Mumsnet reaction

Oysterbabe · 27/04/2023 04:16

FFS, as if they're going to leave food out for 12 hours. What a ridiculous assumption.

midsomermurderess · 27/04/2023 04:19

Food slurry.

Northernsouloldies · 27/04/2023 04:29

midsomermurderess · 27/04/2023 04:19

Food slurry.

Exactly, you wouldn't put your lunch onto your kitchen work top/dining table. What a ridiculous concept.

Riapia · 27/04/2023 04:37

Would be interesting to see a series of photos taken at 15min intervals from the start of proceedings.

TooRightM8 · 27/04/2023 04:43

Perhaps they could also check for urine and faecal matter at regular intervals

Makes a bowl of peanuts on the bar look enticing

Aslanplustwo · 27/04/2023 04:47

Looks good to me - I love a grazing table!

Aslanplustwo · 27/04/2023 04:52

Brrrrrrrrrrrr · 27/04/2023 01:48

Grazing tables just look rough don’t they. Usually found on sketchy FB ‘caterers’ who might offer sharing boxes, afternoon tea for two boxes, sweet boxes etc etc. I always wonder who actually pays for that stuff. Grim. It’s always the cheapest of the cheap food they use too.

Well, I'm not in the UK, but I can assure you that any I've been to have not used "the cheapest of the cheap food".

I'm so pleased I don't know many of you MNers in real life - you don't sound as though you are much fun!

AppallinglyReheated · 27/04/2023 04:58

Northernsouloldies · 27/04/2023 04:29

Exactly, you wouldn't put your lunch onto your kitchen work top/dining table. What a ridiculous concept.

Show quote history

You haven't been on the internet long have you, you sweet innocent child...

It's a whole thing, food directly on the table. People do it at home, people like these fine folk I found via google images, go out and pay for this...

Ugh.

Its gross, the Grazing table is a vile abomination, the bastard son of the buffet and it needs to be stopped.

Not only is it all touchy touchy, and people will lean over it, breath on it, RUMMAGE IN IT, knock it all over the floor...

But its so wasteful, and people brag about it like they created a culinary master piece when in fact all they've done is open up half of Morrisons deli section and dump it on a table. Yay you, you opened packets!

I also think its a rather grotesque braggy 'look how lavish we are with all our foods we can just dump on a table, a whole tables worth of foods...' bleurgh.

To think this looks awful?! Grazing table....
sashh · 27/04/2023 04:59

It reminds me of the film, "the platform"

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 27/04/2023 05:14

I didn't hate these things until I was at an event with one and couldn't eat half the veggie stuff because it was literally crossed with meat stuff. If they had only been on separate plates...

They look stunning at first but as soon as the food is actually disturbed or eaten, they're a hot, splatty mess.

Back to buffets with plates, please. I'm done with these things.

Northernsouloldies · 27/04/2023 05:29

AppallinglyReheated · 27/04/2023 04:58

You haven't been on the internet long have you, you sweet innocent child...

It's a whole thing, food directly on the table. People do it at home, people like these fine folk I found via google images, go out and pay for this...

Ugh.

Its gross, the Grazing table is a vile abomination, the bastard son of the buffet and it needs to be stopped.

Not only is it all touchy touchy, and people will lean over it, breath on it, RUMMAGE IN IT, knock it all over the floor...

But its so wasteful, and people brag about it like they created a culinary master piece when in fact all they've done is open up half of Morrisons deli section and dump it on a table. Yay you, you opened packets!

I also think its a rather grotesque braggy 'look how lavish we are with all our foods we can just dump on a table, a whole tables worth of foods...' bleurgh.

Show quote history

Haha, I laughed at your opening line, you are most wise and I knew not of such things. 😁

Jeds55 · 27/04/2023 05:34

So rank. Also the meat is touching the veg etc. It looks gross now and after just a few customers have been at it it'll look like a pig's dinner.

henchhen · 27/04/2023 05:39

I'm a right greedy pig and will eat anything, but that looks rank. It appears to be directly on the table too. How many people is it for? It's massive

autienotnaught · 27/04/2023 05:41

DramaAlpaca · 27/04/2023 01:12

Yuk. If I got there first, then fine. Otherwise I just couldn't.

Exactly this! To be honest I'm same at a buffet where there's bowls of crisps etc. first up, get a plateful then it's dead to me.

iloveeverykindofcat · 27/04/2023 05:49

Oh my God, I have ARFID and this sort of thing turns my stomach. I wouldn't be able to touch it. I thought the pandemic had put paid to this sort of unhygenic mess.

TerrorAustralis · 27/04/2023 05:51

This sort of crap is designed for social media. It looks great in a photo of the untouched product, but as soon as anyone has at it, it just becomes a mess. And that’s without considering any of the unspeakable issues of hygiene.

strawberryfluff · 27/04/2023 05:55

breakingintopieces · 27/04/2023 01:18

It's the sort of thing you would share with your immediate family at a push, but not with anyone else. Definitely not with randomers.

I agree.

And pub toilets aren't know for being the cleanest either

TheKobayashiMaru · 27/04/2023 05:57

Whisper23 · 27/04/2023 01:09

I'm with you OP. Not interested in eating anything that other folks' grubby mitts have been pawing at.

Me too!

hugefanofcheese · 27/04/2023 05:59

Looks like an animal trough. I wouldn't eat any as there's meat touching everything, only awaiting being stirred in more. Looks like the crappiest of the crap quality too. It's going to be soggy and mixed in soon. Go back to sodding plates. Veggies and halal eaters would be stuck with crisps from the bar unless they were happy ti have packet ham smeared on their cucumber sticks. Who gets these ideas. See also butter boards. Wtf.

Catspyjamas17 · 27/04/2023 06:01

no carby fillers

Quietly takes the plate sausage of rolls

Okthenhun · 27/04/2023 06:04

Grim - I never eat off shared tables like this.

LittleDitto · 27/04/2023 06:07

I have quite low standards but even if probably pass on this. It’s a norovirus/covid dream!

my dogs would love it though!

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